The holiday assignment
by hazeleyes571
Summary: FINISHED!Two workaholics are sent on holiday,whether they like it or not.GS
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: C.S.I. still not my property, sadly. Have borrowed for fun only and will return, tired but happy.  
  
Title: The holiday assignment.  
  
Author: Hazeleyes57.  
  
Spoilers: A few mild ones from early seasons, nothing too revealing.  
  
Author's note: This idea came to me while listening to Dido's White Flag album. A song called 'Sand in my shoes' about a holiday romance really caught me by the throat as it perfectly described a situation I'm not going to elaborate upon:) Naturally, the first couple of C.S.I. sprung to mind when I thought of a romance not quite on the right road.  
  
A HUGH thank you to all those of you that left reviews for The Visit, they were a wonderful surprise, especially as it was my first C.S.I. fic.  
  
I have a Farscape fic (Crais' Tale) but couldn't figure out how to allow anonymous reviews so I had no real idea if I was doing okay or not. I hope this one passes muster...no pressure, really:) BTW, this prints to 32-ish pages.  
  
Summary: Two workaholics sent on holiday, whether they like it or not.  
  
Rating: R (very - you have been warned)   
  
THE HOLIDAY ASSIGNMENT  
  
Grissom walked briskly down the corridor to his office. It was a night like any other but he felt unsettled, as if there was something he'd forgotten to do. He reviewed his job list and failed to find anything new or forgotten. He passed the staff room and unconsciously noted who was present a half-hour before shift was due to start. He stopped suddenly and looked again. The staff room was empty. Where was Sara?  
  
A frown passed over his face. It was unlike Sara not to be in by this time. He double-checked his watch. Yes, the wall clock was correct.   
  
He resumed his journey to his room deep in thought. Where was she?   
  
Grissom entered his office, walked around his desk and placed his briefcase on the floor beside it. He sat down in his chair and pulled his desk diary closer. A quick flick of one page showed the current date and staff rota. The diary confirmed that he was correct in the thought that Sara would be working tonight.   
  
One finger tapped on his lips while he mentally reviewed their cases to try to deduce which Lab. Sara might be working in. He settled on the idea of Trace first and started to stand up. Then he sat back down heavily. As had become usual of late, he had started to question his motives for finding Sara. Did he need to see her now? Was it work related? Was it strictly necessary? If the answer to these internal questions was yes, then he would go and find her, secure in the knowledge that he had a proper reason to do so. As opposed to his improper reasons, where he simply wanted to be in the same room as her, basking in her presence.  
  
For the umpteenth time he berated himself for turning down her dinner invitation. It had been a knee-jerk response to a situation that he had already discussed with himself and felt wholly unable to deal with. He had been honest when he admitted that he did not know what to do about their situation. It was wrong on more than one level - he was her supervisor, he was more than a decade older than she was, he was a loner who raced cockroaches for Chrissake. But it didn't feel wrong. He was attracted to her on more than one level, too. Physically, obviously, but also intellectually. They suited each other; even Brass could see it. Grissom was not unaware of the 'Geek mind meld' label that the others had nicknamed the way he and Sara seemed to read each other's mind when they worked a scene together. It had been one of those little stones Catherine had dropped into the conversational pond a while ago. It had panicked him into a backing off period that had confused and hurt Sara, which had not been his intention at all. He sighed heavily and returned his diary to its correct position on his desk.   
  
"Ah, good, you're here. Not that I'm surprised, of course."  
  
Catherine Willows breezed in to his office as if it were her own and placed a form on the desk in front of Grissom. She gave him a big smile and produced a pen with a flourish.  
  
"Sign."   
  
"Pardon me?"   
  
Grissom looked from the form to Catherine and back. He felt no more informed.  
  
"Just sign it, pretty please."  
  
"This is an application form for annual leave. Are you going on holiday?"  
  
"Very good, yes it is, but no, it's not for me."   
  
At Grissom's expression Catherine sighed theatrically and explained.  
  
"A thought suddenly popped in to my head the other day while I was half asleep. You have five weeks of annual leave to use up. You can only carryover a week and you have only three months before the end of the leave year. You have to use your time off or lose it. Aah!"   
  
She held up a hand to the protest already forming on his lips and continued.  
  
"And before you say that you don't mind losing it, the H and S people are all over this leave thing."  
  
"What do Health and Safety have to do with this?"   
  
"Apparently we have a stressful job. We have to recharge our batteries so we can carry on. So sign already!"  
  
Catherine gestured with the pen she was still holding and waited for him to take it.  
  
Grissom re-read the form and took the proffered pen.  
  
He signed the form and moved it to his pending paperwork tray.  
  
"Oh no you don't, hand it over. I don't want it getting all 'accidentally' mislaid.  
  
Grissom glared at Catherine's implication but handed over the form.  
  
"Thank you. One down, one to go."  
  
Catherine spun on her heel and headed for the door of Grissom's office.  
  
"Who is the other one?" He asked her retreating back.  
  
"You have to ask?" floated back through the open doorway.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara Sidle hurried to the locker room to stow her purse and get her labcoat on. She glanced again at her watch in the hope that she had misread it when she got out of her car downstairs. It had eaten away another three minutes. She gritted her teeth and managed not to growl aloud. Once again she cursed her alarm clock for failing to wake her at the correct time. She could not remember the last time that she had slept so deeply. She hated to be late. She was never late. She hated getting to work in a bad temper and being late did just that. She shut her locker with a little more force than was entirely necessary and straightened up. She inhaled deeply and exhaled, dropping her shoulders to relieve the tension. Calm. Okay.   
  
Sara left the locker room and headed for the break room and some coffee, quite unaware that being only fifteen minutes early for work instead of an hour early was not actually classified as 'late'.  
  
Sara had just poured herself a coffee when Catherine found her.   
  
"Hi."   
  
"Hi." Sara's response was as reserved as Catherine's was 'perky'.  
  
Catherine did not think that this was a promising start, but she was made of sterner stuff and persevered.  
  
"As you know, one of my admin areas of responsibility is the annual leave - "   
  
Sara jumped in before Catherine could finish.  
  
"I haven't booked any recently, so I can't have used too much."  
  
Catherine raised an eyebrow and gave Sara the cool stare that normally had Greg running for cover.  
  
"As I was about to say, you have not used enough. Use it or lose it, and losing it is not an option."  
  
She placed the identical form to Grissom's on the table in front of Sara and handed her a pen.  
  
"But I'm in the middle of a case!"  
  
"I know. Your leave starts on Saturday, you have four days to finalise and/or hand over. Nick has just finished his case and is happy to help."  
  
Sara ran through possible countermeasures and came up empty. She picked up the pen as if it were there to sign her own death warrant.  
  
Sara glanced up at Catherine's face again. No help there. She scrawled her name.  
  
"Christ, Sara, it's a holiday - not root canal work."  
  
Catherine retrieved the form from the table and added it to Grissom's. She had expected more of a confrontation and was relieved that Sara had taken it as well as she had.   
  
Sara, for her part, was thinking that so long as she had to be off she could use the time to catch up on her journals and research. Maybe do that paper on -   
  
"Oh, and don't even think of staying at home. I want documentary proof that you are going away somewhere, to relax, and recharge your batteries."  
  
Sara managed not to jump guiltily at Catherine's uncanny insight. Busted.  
  
^^^^^^^  
  
The following Sunday found Sara sitting in an aeroplane bound for Florida. She lay her seat back as soon as the sign had allowed it, put on her headphones and closed her eyes. That usually dissuaded people from trying to engage her in conversation. She was still smarting from the enforced holiday inflicted upon her and wasn't feeling sociable. She could hardly believe that she was going to Florida either. That was Catherine's fault too. She had come in to the lab. with a magazine money off voucher for a hotel in Fort Lauderdale. It was as good a place as any to be miserable in, so Sara had allowed Catherine to deal with the details.   
  
Sara dozed for a while, more day dreaming than actually sleeping. Ever since that case of air rage and that amazing conversation with Grissom in an aeroplane toilet she hadn't been able to get on a plane without thinking of him. She smiled inwardly at the memory that had fuelled a few fantasies since then.  
  
Not a million miles away, Grissom was checking in to his hotel. He had been surprised to discover that he had been upgraded to a double room, as there were no single rooms available for the duration of his stay. Apparently the voucher that Catherine had given him from her magazine had inspired so many people to take up the offer that the place was booked solid for a month. Ordinarily he would never have left his holiday booking to Catherine, but he had spotted a note about the opening of a new roller coaster about thirty miles from the hotel and thought that he'd give it a try.  
  
Grissom followed his suitcases as they were taken to his room.  
  
Once he was alone, Grissom had a cursory look around - one hotel being much like any other - then unpacked and left the room to go and check out the local restaurants.  
  
Back in Vegas, Catherine was eating a sandwich in the break room. Not for the first time she was debating the wisdom of what she was trying to set in motion with Sara and Grissom. With some fancy footwork, she had managed to get them both booked into the same hotel but had them on different flights. She didn't want one of them hightailing it back here when they spotted the other. The atmosphere between Sara and Grissom had been very distant and tense lately, although they had been professional and correct it hadn't been in the old comfortable way, and something had got to give. It was make or break time.   
  
^^^^^^  
  
By the time Sara had arrived at the hotel and checked in she had not felt like going out to eat. Despite her resolution to develop a social life and not resort to delivery take out food, she didn't think room service would kill her, just this once.   
  
Without realising it Sara managed to avoid bumping in to Grissom the first evening.  
  
The following morning they both had breakfast in their respective rooms and made plans for the day.   
  
Grissom hired a car and planned his days out to cover as many as he could of the state's theme parks that had roller coasters.   
  
Sara booked a coach trip to Cape Canaveral to see the tourist's eye view of the American space program. She thought about hiring a car for the day later in the week, perhaps to drive on Daytona Beach or visit the everglades.   
  
  
  
^^^^^^  
  
That evening Sara got back to the hotel tired hot and hungry. A coach trip in the mid-ninety-degree heat with two squawky babies and a rash of tired bored toddlers did not, in retrospect, seem that clever a choice.   
  
Just as she entered the hotel lobby she saw the elevator doors begin to close. She had glimpsed the back of a man going in so she called out.  
  
"Hi, hold the doors please!"  
  
A hand appeared and interrupted the door's closure and the doors opened again. In her haste to get inside Sara slipped on the marble floor and her purse flew out of her grasp and hit the back wall of the elevator. She managed to keep herself from following it by the unplanned but expedient collision with the unfortunate occupant of the elevator, who grunted in pain.  
  
"God, I am so sorry I didn't - "  
  
"It's okay, it's just the - "  
  
They both spoke at the same time and then froze with astonishment, still in their bizarre embrace.  
  
  
  
"You!"   
  
Sara stared into familiar blue eyes, unable to comprehend what was going on.  
  
"What are you doing here?"   
  
Grissom was equally baffled at Sara's presence but was already filling in the clues.  
  
He looked at Sara and saw the moment that she put two and two together.  
  
"Catherine?"   
  
"Catherine." Grissom confirmed.  
  
Both Sara and Grissom took a moment to try to imagine a suitable punishment for their colleague. Nothing legal sprung to mind and Sara was just getting creative with boiling oil when it dawned on her that she was still in Grissom's arms.   
  
She was surprised that he had not let her go yet. Surely he had realised...?  
  
Sara found herself in a quandary. She didn't want to do anything that would make Grissom let go. The doors had closed and the elevator begun its ascent. If she could just enjoy these few seconds up to her floor she would be a happy woman.  
  
She kept her eyes down, avoiding eye contact. This meant looking at Grissom's shirt and the chest hairs peaking out at the V of the lapels. She could feel the warmth of his hands on her arm and back where he had caught and steadied her. A frisson of awareness tingled outwards from both points of contact and she could feel herself beginning to flush. Goosebumps raised on her arms and she felt her nipples peak under her T-shirt. She licked her suddenly dry lips with the tip of her tongue and involuntarily glanced at Grissom's lips just scant inches away, imagining what it would be like to kiss him. God, he was so hot!  
  
Grissom tried to be furious with Catherine for doing this to him. She really had no idea what she was meddling with. He needed to hang on to his fury so that he didn't give in to the impulse to hoist Sara over his shoulder and carry her off to his room.  
  
The very idea was so foreign to his way of thinking that he almost laughed.  
  
She didn't appear to be aware that he was still holding her, but then again she seemed unable to make eye contact, so maybe she was aware but was embarrassed by their proximity. He didn't want to make any move that would make Sara move away.  
  
Grissom silently perused Sara's face and watched, entranced, as a delicate flush of colour spread across her cheeks. She looked beautiful. He followed the line of her jaw down to her neck and lower, belatedly realising that he was looking down at her breasts. His lips parted without conscious thought as he noticed that her nipples were standing proud. He was uncomfortably aware that he couldn't seem to take his eyes off her. Just when he thought that he'd be okay, Grissom saw the tip of Sara's tongue peak out and wet her lips. The heat shot straight to his groin and all his excuses for remaining distant flew out of the window. All he could think about was kissing Sara.   
  
  
  
They were in their own little world, their surroundings faded into the background. Each of them totally focused on the other's lips, an overwhelming desire to find out just what they were missing unconsciously drawing them together.   
  
They were so close that Sara could feel Grissom's breath on her damp lips. Her eyes closed without conscious volition in preparation for their first kiss.  
  
A distant part of Grissom's mind was noting that this was a lot easier than he thought it would be when he imagined their first kiss. He thought his doubts and fears would plague him but now that the moment had come he was unafraid. He was actually trembling with desire for Sara, a scant half inch away from his lips.  
  
The lift chose that moment to 'ding' and announce that they were now on the third floor. The doors began to open.  
  
Both Sara and Grissom jumped guiltily, their eyes flying open and seeing the shock on each other's faces. In other circumstances it would almost have been funny.   
  
It was fortunate that there was no-one waiting for the lift as it took both of them several moments to pull themselves together.   
  
Grissom took refuge in the obvious.  
  
"Third floor. My...stop." He managed to stop himself saying 'room' or 'bed'.  
  
"Third. Yes, me too. Figures."  
  
Grissom nodded in agreement. Catherine had obviously booked the rooms at the same time.  
  
Sara picked up her fallen purse, then turned right out of the elevator and was glad when Grissom turned the same way. They walked in silence, unable to think of anything to say.   
  
What could be said? Neither of them could deny that something had nearly happened. Now that the momentum had been lost and they were aware of themselves neither of them could blame what might have happened next on just being 'swept away'.  
  
Grissom stopped first and indicated a door on his right.  
  
"I'm here."  
  
All his excuses were back in charge. He had no choice but to tell himself that Sara was off limits.  
  
Sara pointed to a door ahead on the left. She didn't say anything for a moment, and the silence dragged on.  
  
"Wanna coffee?" she blurted in the end.   
  
Grissom looked Sara in the eyes and died a little inside. Even as his body was going 'YES!' his brain was forming the words.  
  
"Nothing has changed, Sara. We are still who we were an hour ago. We have to work together and I'm still your supervisor."  
  
"It's only coffee, Grissom, not a lifelong commitment."   
  
But Sara's gaze had dropped to the floor, unwilling to see the second rejection coming.  
  
"I can't think of you in terms of 'only' or as someone to be taken lightly. You are so much more than that. You scare me, Sara. You are committed and passionate, you throw yourself wholeheartedly in to everything you do and I know that you would do that with us. And I don't see - I can't see - that I ...would be enough for you."   
  
Sara's head snapped up at that and she angrily wiped tears from her cheeks.  
  
"Not enough? Are you kidding me? Tell me that you feel nothing for me; tell me that you were not touched in any way back there and I'll go without a backward glance! I won't bother you again. But be honest with me! Because I did feel something, and I'm willing to take a chance on where it goes. At least I'd know that I tried!"  
  
Grissom could not utter the lie. He could not tell her that he felt nothing.  
  
"I'm sorry."   
  
Let her make of that what she will.  
  
Sara turned without another word, unlocked her door and entered her room. She slammed the door behind her. She did not see Grissom walk slowly up to her door and place the flat of his left hand on the door's surface. His grief was palpable.  
  
Inside her room, Sara kicked the wastepaper basket and watched it hit the bed with a dull thud then bounce off the other side. She was so angry. Angry with herself, with Grissom, with everything that was keeping them apart. She knew in her gut that the two of them could continue to work together without prejudice if they were 'together', she just could not get him to realise it. As for that bullshit about not being enough for her, oh puhleeze!   
  
She sat down on the end of her bed, hot, tired, angry and still aroused, even now. She stood abruptly and stripped off, walking into the bathroom.  
  
She did some of her best plotting in the shower.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom had also returned to his room and gone straight for the shower. He felt numb and cold. He had hurt Sara again and yet again it was his desire not to hurt her that had held him back. Was she right? Was he fooling himself? When had he got so scared that he couldn't let anyone get close? Sara would not keep trying forever; she had already warned him that by the time he figured it out, it might be too late. How did he feel about someone else with Sara? The sharp pang of pain that went through him surprised him with its intensity.  
  
Grissom dressed in clean clothes and combed his damp hair. He looked at himself in the mirror and tried to see himself, as Sara appeared to see him. Desirable.   
  
He was still standing there when there was a knock on his door. Grissom looked at his watch, surprised to see that he'd been in his room for nearly an hour.  
  
He crossed the room and opened the door.  
  
Sara stood outside the room. Grissom was struck dumb momentarily. She looked fabulous. His gaze travelled from her face to her toes and back again. Her calf length dress of plum crushed silk was obviously a designer label, a spaghetti strap bodice fitted to the waist, it flared out and lovingly caressed Sara's hips and thighs in a fashion that made him want to do the same.   
  
Sara smiled widely. The obscene amount she had paid for this dress had been worth it just for the look on his face.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Hello."  
  
God, was that croaky voice his? Grissom cleared his throat.  
  
"You look very nice." He managed.  
  
"Thank you." Sara held out her hand for a handshake and the dazed Grissom had taken the hand before he could stop himself.  
  
"What...?" He began.  
  
"I'm sorry. When we collided in the lift I failed to introduce myself. I'm Sara Smith. I'm from out of state and I'm only going to be here for ten days."  
  
Grissom wondered for a split second if he'd slipped in the shower and this scene was an aspect of his concussion.   
  
Then the realisation hit him.   
  
What was it he had he said?  
  
'We are still who we were an hour ago'.  
  
She was giving him a loophole if he wanted to take it. Ten days.   
  
Suddenly he remembered something he'd read on a greeting card recently; 'If you don't jump you may never learn to fly'.  
  
Only seconds had passed and Sara's hand was still in his. Could he set aside everything that kept him from Sara for ten days? Would he be capable of going back to what they had - or hadn't had - before?   
  
He looked searchingly in to Sara's eyes and decided to jump.  
  
"Hello," he said eventually, "I'm Gil...Jones. I'm also from out of state and here for ten days. I am pleased to meet you, Miss Smith."  
  
Sara's smile had got even bigger with her relief that he was playing along.   
  
"Likewise, and please, call me Sara."  
  
Her eyes sparkled with delight and Grissom was glad he'd jumped.  
  
"Only if you call me Griss - it's a nickname." He explained with a wry grin.  
  
"Sure." Sara smiled and squeezed his hand gently.   
  
To her surprised delight Grissom brought her hand to his lips and kissed its back.   
  
"I think that you and I should have dinner together this evening. You and your outfit are far too beautiful to deny others less fortunate a glimpse."  
  
He had surprised her a second time. She never figured he'd be so smooth. Whenever she had fantasised about this sort of moment, somehow she always imagined that she would be doing the chasing. In the space of a few seconds he'd kissed her hand, given her a compliment and asked her out for a meal. It looked like the next ten days would be one hell of a ride.  
  
"Dinner would be lovely, I'd like that."   
  
Grissom collected his wallet and keycard then turned the room lights off. He pulled the door shut behind him and gestured an 'after you' to Sara. She preceded him to the lift and he enjoyed the luxury of watching her walk.   
  
Sara could feel him watching her and added a subtle sway to her hips. He made her feel feminine and desirable. It was heady stuff. They both knew how the evening was going to end and this meal was already qualifying as foreplay.   
  
They went straight to the hotel restaurant without having a drink first. Within ten minutes they had a bottle of wine open and their meals ordered. By mutual consent they talked about anything but their work. They maintained the fiction of their alternate lives by inventing outrageous life stories. There was much laughter and they both realised that they had missed this aspect of their friendship.   
  
Throughout the meal they flirted with each other. They often touched each other on the hand or the arm. They tried some of each other's dishes, feeding each other and sending hot glances across the table.   
  
Sara picked up a big strawberry by its stalk and brought it to her lips. She could see that she had Grissom's undivided attention. She slowly licked a spot of cream off the bottom of the fruit, swirling her tongue around it, before biting it in half.  
  
"Mmm, this is delicious. Would you like some?" Sara asked not so innocently.  
  
Grissom's fork hadn't moved since she picked up the fruit. He looked amused and his lips twitched, obviously holding back what he really wanted to say.  
  
"It does look very nice, but so does your cream. I'd like a taste of that, especially as I can see you have some on your finger."  
  
Sara looked down at her clean fingers and bit back a grin.  
  
"So I have. How careless of me."   
  
Her eyes met his and without breaking eye contact she dipped her finger into the whipped cream and lifted it to Grissom's mouth.  
  
He leaned forward and held her hand in his, then took both the cream and Sara's finger in to his mouth. His tongue thoroughly cleaned off any trace of the cream and by the time he had finished Sara thought that she would melt in to a puddle at his feet. Grissom allowed the finger to leave his mouth with obvious reluctance.  
  
"That was lovely."  
  
His whole demeanour implied that he wasn't talking about food. Sara had been on a slow burn throughout the meal and Grissom had just turned up the heat.  
  
She smiled wickedly back as she picked up the last strawberry and dipped it into the whipped cream. Grissom was totally focused on her and his lips parted as he waited to see what Sara was going to do with the strawberry. She brought it to her lips and slowly slid it halfway into her mouth, removing some of the cream, then she drew it back out slightly as if she had changed her mind about eating it, then pushed it back between her lips.   
  
The symbolism was not lost on Grissom.   
  
He was quite certain that his pulse was raised now and it wasn't the only thing; the idea of Sara's lips on him made him instantly hard. He was aware that the time was rapidly approaching when they should leave the table and take this somewhere a little more private.   
  
He caught a waiter's attention - which wasn't difficult as he suspected several people had been watching them surreptitiously - and quietly asked for the bill.   
  
While Sara finished her glass of wine he signed for the meal at the table, grateful that he didn't have to stand for a minute. He took time to finish his own glass of wine.  
  
Sara wondered at the obvious delaying tactic until it occurred to her what the problem was. She was both flattered and amused.   
  
"Shall we go?" she asked cheekily.  
  
Grissom chided her with his glance and she grinned back, unrepentant.  
  
He stood up and pulled her chair out for her. Now that he had made the conscious decision to pursue this course he was unashamed of his desire for her. If she didn't mind then neither did he. They left the restaurant and headed for the elevator.   
  
As they waited for it to arrive, Sara slipped her hand in Grissom's and was pleased when he took it. He looked at her as if memorising this moment in time.   
  
The elevator 'dinged' its arrival and they both looked fleetingly amused as they entered. Grissom pressed the button for the third floor with his free hand. He looked back at Sara, then down at their joined hands as if he couldn't quite believe it was real. He rubbed his thumb gently over the back of her hand, marvelling at both the strength and softness.   
  
They left the lift and walked to Grissom's room. They didn't speak; there was no need.   
  
Grissom used his keycard to open the door to his room, switched on the small wall lights, and then allowed Sara to enter the room first.   
  
He watched, amused, as she unconsciously did her usual 'crime scene scan'.  
  
"A double, huh?" she said as she walked over to the drapes and closed them.  
  
"Fortuitous fate. I don't think even Catherine would have dared to presume to book a double."  
  
Grissom had turned from his observation of Sara to place his keys and wallet on the table. Now that they were actually back in his room he felt a little awkward about the next step. It felt too planned and unspontaneous, yet in the lift earlier and downstairs in the restaurant it had seemed effortless. He wondered what to do to restore that ease, perhaps -   
  
At that moment Grissom felt one of Sara's hands slide over his shoulder and the other go around his waist from behind. She rested her head on the back of his right shoulder and hugged him. His heart skipped a beat.  
  
"Hey." She greeted softly.  
  
Grissom turned around to face her and wondered why he'd been concerned.  
  
He framed her face with both hands and gently ran one thumb over her bottom lip. Tingling warmth spread through his hands to the rest of his body.   
  
"Hey yourself." He whispered, hoping his voice didn't sound as shaky as he felt.   
  
  
  
Sara's lips curved in a smile as she slid both arms up around his neck and leaned in to him. Her gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips.  
  
He slid both of his arms around her body, his hands on the firm cheeks of her bottom. He pulled her hard against him, feeling electrified at the contact. His arousal had returned in full force and he wanted her to know the effect that she had on him.  
  
It was as if a switch had been flipped. Suddenly all thoughts of 'softly' or 'slowly' had flown out of the window. Their lips finally met in a crushing kiss. Neither of them knew who made the first move and they didn't care. There was no conscious decision about next steps or planned moves; they were on the ride of their lives and barely hanging on.   
  
Grissom deepened the kiss and Sara opened to him eagerly. She clutched at his neck, his shoulders, anything she could reach. Without removing her lips from his she loosened the knot of his tie and pulled the tie off, dropping it on the floor. She undid some buttons and pulled at others, then tugged at his shirt, parting it from his pants so that she could slide her hands under the material and feel his warm flesh.   
  
Grissom was overwhelmed by the feelings rushing through him. He knew that it would be fantastic kissing Sara but he didn't realised just how amazing it would be. He kissed, he nibbled, he licked and tasted a path over her exposed flesh. He returned to her lips for another jolt of heaven. They were of one mind in their frantic exploration of each other, both having wanted this for so long. He ran his hands up her arms and encountered the small straps to the bodice. He slid his fingers under the thin material and slid them down and off her shoulders. He marvelled at the soft smooth skin under his palms.  
  
He broke off the kiss, both of them panting with the need for air and each other. His lips moved to her neck and he heard a moan when he made contact. He bit down gently, tasting her skin then soothing it with his tongue. His hands sought the back of the dress, searching for the zip. Gratefully he pulled the little metal tab down as far as it would go. The dress loosened and slid part way off.  
  
Sara was frantic with need. Everywhere Grissom touched her sizzled with sexual energy and she wanted to throw him on the bed and just take him. She had never felt anything like this driving hunger to possess with anyone else. She wanted to mark him as hers, to warn off anyone else. To brand him even as his lips branded her, trailing liquid heat down her neck and across her shoulders.   
  
She felt the dress give way when Grissom found the zip and she eagerly slid the spaghetti straps down her arms and off, leaving herself bare to the hips.   
  
Grissom thought his heart would stop when he saw Sara's breasts. He eagerly bent to take a nipple in to his mouth, teasing it to a peak with his tongue, while his hand caressed the other breast.  
  
Sara's arousal shot up when Grissom's lips closed over her breast. One of her hands threaded into his hair, the other arm slid over his shoulder, holding him to her.   
  
Grissom transferred his mouth to Sara's other breast, giving it the same homage as the first. He tightened both arms around her thighs and when he straightened up he lifted her up against him. He looked up at her and slowly slid her back down his body, the friction against their bodies igniting fires under their skin. His prominent erection rubbed delightfully as the juncture of her thighs met it on the way down. By the time Sara's feet hit the ground their lips were together again, open mouthed hungry kisses that fought and duelled, each trying to get closer to the other.   
  
Sara felt Grissom's knee push its way between her legs, parting them. The now-taut hem of her dress prevented him from gaining the access he wanted and he impatiently brought his right hand up underneath the hem, running his fingers along the fine mesh of Sara's tights.   
  
Sara felt his shocked surprise when his hand encountered the stocking top and he pulled back from her with delight. She grinned at his obvious approval.   
  
Grissom ran both hands up Sara's thighs and carried the dress with them, not stopping at her waist but carrying on until he had lifted the whole thing over her head and off. Without taking his eyes off Sara he flung it in the rough direction of the chair by the window. She was now before him clad only in stockings and a matching plum coloured suspender belt and panties. Grissom licked suddenly dry lips and wondered if he'd last more than two more seconds.  
  
Sara ran her hands up his uncovered chest, her nails scratching lightly through his chest hair and she felt him shudder under her fingertips. She slid her hands up underneath the open shirt to his shoulders and pushed the shirt off and down his arms. She leaned into him, her sensitised breasts brushing against the coarse hair, and breathed in the scent of him. Her lips found the hollow of his throat and her tongue dipped in to taste him. She heard him gasp and she smiled inwardly as she felt his arms tighten around her.   
  
Grissom again nudged Sara's legs apart with his leg, his right hand running over her toned ass and around to the front where he cupped the front of her panties. She gasped and pushed against his probing fingers.   
  
He stroked her through the damp lace for long minutes, marvelling at the moist heat of her arousal. Her hips rocked rhythmically against his hand and he slid a finger under the lace and into her heat.   
  
"Oh, God yes...!" Sara gasped, surging against him.  
  
  
  
She leaned against Grissom, her legs trembling and unable to take her weight under his onslaught to her senses. He supported her with one arm and added a second finger to the first. He pumped deliberately, slow, and deep. Each time he pushed in, his thumb brushed against her clitoris. He watched her face as he worked, vicariously enjoying her pleasure.  
  
Sara's world had shrunk to Grissom's hand between her legs. She was focused only on him and the magic he was creating with his clever fingers. She felt the electrifying buzz that pre-empted orgasm, the wash of sensation starting in her extremities and moving to the centre of her body in delicious waves.  
  
Grissom felt the change in Sara as she tightened inside and unconsciously altered the angle of her hips. He kept up the pressure and continued to stroke her firmly. Despite the intense pleasure of her hip moving against his arousal, he kept his eyes open, wanting to see her face as she came.  
  
Moments later Sara' s hands gripped Grissom's shoulders convulsively and she stiffened in his embrace. Her eyes flew open and she came apart in his arms, crying out in ecstasy.  
  
  
  
"Griiisssom!"   
  
He held her tight and continued to move his fingers gently until she had stopped pulsing, then he gently withdrew.  
  
Sara covered Grissom with kisses and hugged him to her in delight, her eyes shining.  
  
"That was glorious, thank you thank you."  
  
Grissom smiled as he picked her up and she wrapped her long legs around his waist. Her arms went around his neck and she kissed his head. He walked over to the bed and tried to drop Sara on it, but she laughingly hung on to him and they fell together on to it, Sara underneath Grissom.  
  
Sara was already undoing his belt and pant's zipper and within moments her hand had deftly gained access to the contents of his boxers. Grissom jumped when her warm hand closed over him and he thanked whatever Gods were listening that he didn't come there and then. He managed to shuck off his pants, albeit inside out, and chucked them vaguely in the same direction that Sara's dress had gone.  
  
  
  
Grissom lay Sara back on the pillows, removing her hand from him in the process and incurring her 'Aww!' of dismay. He laughingly told her to be patient. He moved to her hips, hooked his thumbs under the elastic of her panties and slid them down and off her legs, kissing as he went. She was throbbing by the time he finished but she wanted his pleasure next.   
  
"Hey, Griss!"   
  
He looked up the bed to her from his position at the end.   
  
"Finesse me later - fuck me now!"  
  
Grissom was shocked at the jolt of heat that the words shot to his groin and his arousal pulsed in anticipation. He moved quickly up the bed between her eagerly spread legs and moved firmly over her, taking his weight on his forearms. Sara took hold of him and guided him to her. She was wet and ready for him, the scent of her intoxicating him and drawing him in. Without a moments pause he plunged into her, fully buried to the hilt in the one stroke. They both groaned with pleasure at the sensations flooding over them. Grissom froze, looking at the bliss on Sara's face. He had denied them this for so long that he wanted to weep with the joy of finally coming home.   
  
Sara's eyes opened to find out why he'd stopped. What she saw in his eyes made her realise that they could never go back to the way things had been. He loved her just as she loved him - totally. She smiled serenely and stroked his dear face.   
  
Then her smile turned wicked and she bucked her hips up to his and he was lost. He pulled nearly all the way out and jammed himself back in, thrusting hard. He slid his hands beneath her shoulders to hold her steady as he pumped in to her with increasing force. Her silky warmth clung to him, caressed him even as her hands caressed his back, her nails lightly scratching across his shoulders. They were both panting, their kisses more intermittent. Sara's legs were wrapped around Grissom's as she strained to get herself closer to him. Grissom begun thrusting harder and faster in to her eager body, frantic with need, desperate to achieve completion. He buried his face into her neck as he pounded in to her and she met him on every stroke.   
  
All that mattered to Sara at this moment was that Grissom was deep in her body. This joy was removing all the pain of the past, making them new and whole. As he moved within her she marvelled that they were here at all, this was Grissom with her. Grissom. Oh God, it was Grissom! Just his name was enough to make her throb. To her surprise she could feel the stirrings of another orgasm and she allowed it to flow through her, tightening her grip on him. Within moments she stiffened under him, crying out inarticulately, her fingers digging into his back.   
  
It sent him over the edge and he exploded within Sara, surging and thrusting until he was spent.  
  
He shuddered with delight, his eyes closing as delicious lethargy spread through him. He collapsed gratefully on to Sara, remaining joined with her. After a few moments he moved to take some of his weight on his left forearm. He looked at Sara beneath his chest and could barely believe that it wasn't a dream and that she was really here. Just to make sure she that she was, he leaned down and kissed her. She kissed him back and then smiled up at him as they caught their breath.  
  
"Usually when I have this dream I wake up just before the best bit."  
  
Grissom laughed, he couldn't help it. He rested his head on his left fist and moved a strand of dark hair from Sara's cheek with his other hand.  
  
  
  
"This is the best dream I've ever had."  
  
"Me too." Sara ran her palms lazily up and down Grissom's back, content just to be.  
  
He studied her, just for the simple pleasure of being able to. She understood without the words and didn't feel uncomfortable. She yawned discreetly.  
  
"Sleepy?"  
  
"Mmm, yeah. Kinda. But I feel like I don't want to waste time sleeping."  
  
Grissom smiled at the very 'Sara' comment. He turned slightly to lie on his left side and brought her with him so that they lay facing each other. He wrapped her loosely in his embrace.   
  
  
  
"It's not a waste of time to sleep. I have a strenuous day planned for tomorrow and you'll need your rest."  
  
Sara looked inquiringly at him as she snuggled closer, nearly sleep.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
Grissom smirked as he leaned over and put out the lights.  
  
  
  
"Who said that we're going anywhere?"  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara surfaced from a deep restful sleep and blinked owlishly at the light filtering through the drapes. For an instant she wondered why the window was on the wrong side of the room until she realised that she wasn't in her room. She was in Grissom's room.  
  
Grissom's room.   
  
Grissom's bed.   
  
With Grissom.  
  
Naked.  
  
Naked Grissom also had his arm draped across her waist.  
  
'Well, try and wipe the grin off my face, why doncha.' Sara thought, smiling widely.  
  
She lay quietly, her mind going over last night. It had been fantastic, as she had always thought it would be. She refused to be sorry about it happening. She had eight days left and she was going to darn well enjoy them. It was shaping up to be the best holiday in an age. She felt like a kid in a candy store.  
  
Grissom's arm tightened around her waist and pulled her back against his front. He still appeared to be asleep, so Sara closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. She was aware, however, that she was unable to get rid of the grin.   
  
Grissom thought he was dead.  
  
He figured he must be because he'd woken up with Sara in his arms and that sure seemed like heaven to him.  
  
He lay unmoving but relaxed for a while, simply enjoying the pleasure it brought him to be with Sara. He resolutely pushed aside any thoughts about whether or not they should be here together. They were; fait accompli.   
  
They were spooned together, Grissom behind Sara, with his right arm around Sara's waist. His right hand was clasped in Sara's left, their fingers threaded together.  
  
Grissom could smell the fresh lemony scent of Sara's hair and the perfume that lingered from last night. He wished that he could see her face while she slept but didn't want to wake her up by moving just yet. He'd save that treat for later.   
  
Sara stirred in her sleep, wriggling against him and pulled his arm closer.   
  
Grissom had been half hard just lying still, now his arousal was firmly nestled between the cheeks of her bottom.  
  
He was still debating what to do when Sara turned her head and smiled drowsily at him.  
  
  
  
"Well, that brings new meaning to the words 'rise and shine'."   
  
Grissom's straightfaced expression was at odds with the laughter in his eyes.  
  
"Don't blame me, it's your fault."  
  
"Me? What'd I do?"   
  
"Don't try that innocent look, it won't work. You wilfully provoked me with your body. It was contributory negligence. You bear some of the responsibility."  
  
Sara had turned to face Grissom, and now lay on her right side, within his arms.  
  
"I do, huh?"   
  
She ran her hand deliberately across his chest, light enough to tickle.  
  
"You do."  
  
Grissom was finding it difficult to concentrate with her hand on his body.  
  
"I guess I'd better fix it then."   
  
With that, Sara pushed Grissom over on to his back, straddled his thighs and took him in hand. She grinned down at him, unashamedly naked. The look on his face was balm to her soul.   
  
They missed breakfast.  
  
And lunch.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
It was late afternoon by the time the temporarily sated couple surfaced from the hotel room. Light-headedness and grumbling stomachs were not the ideal post coital accompaniments. The ever-practical Grissom had pointed out that housekeeping probably wanted to get into the room too.   
  
They found a restaurant that did vegetarian food and stayed for an hour or so. They were both secretly surprised at how at ease they were with each other. Sara had thought that Grissom would be a little embarrassed about their new status as lovers, but once he had made his mind up he went in one hundred and ten percent.  
  
Grissom had once admired Sara's capacity for compartmentalisation; he understood it because he did it with his professional life and his private life. With her 'ten day Ms. Smith program' she had hit on the one method that had had any chance of success with him; the offer to completely separate this time from the other part of their lives. He could, for this short time, suspend his disbelief and live the fantasy. He would be Mr. Jones and when they returned to Vegas, Gil Grissom would be back and things would go on as before.   
  
The sad thing was he actually believed it.  
  
When they left the restaurant, they strolled along the beachfront. Grissom took Sara's hand in his as they walked and she couldn't help trying to memorise the moment so that she'd have something to recall when reality returned in Vegas.  
  
She pushed away the pang of sadness that accompanied the thought of the end of their holiday, determined to enjoy the time that they had together.   
  
They talked about a variety of subjects but steered clear of anything that would touch on their real world. They found themselves finishing each other's sentences, often with laughter at the similarity of their thought processes. Sometimes they didn't have to talk at all; just the expression on the other's face would convey everything.   
  
Grissom hadn't realised how much energy he had put into avoiding Sara at work and now that he didn't have to that he found that he could relax properly. It was like the old days together, effortless. He found himself wishing that this new-found sense of ease would stay with them after their return to work.   
  
He turned his head slightly so that he could see her profile. She had a half smile on her face and he wondered what she was thinking. He watched her hair move gently in the breeze and remembered how silky it felt under his hand. He followed the curve of her neck to line of her jaw and knew what it felt like to kiss her there. Before he realised what was happening he found he was becoming aroused. He wanted her again already. She made him feel like a randy teenager.  
  
Sara stopped walking and turned to Grissom.  
  
"I've just realised that I can't remember what the wallpaper in your room is like."  
  
Grissom looked thoughtful, then apologetic.  
  
"I'm afraid I can't help you. I guess we're gonna have to go back and find out."  
  
"I guess."   
  
Sara sounded almost nonchalant to Grissom until he looked in to her eyes and saw that she was anything but. It looked like he wasn't the only randy teenager.  
  
They made it back to the hotel in half the time it had taken them to get where they were.   
  
They had the elevator to themselves.  
  
The second that the doors closed they were all over each other. Sara had both arms around Grissom's neck, one of her hands pulling his head down to her frantic kiss. He had picked her up and had her pinned up against the wall with his body, one of his legs thrust between hers, his thigh causing delicious pressure against her.   
  
When Grissom tore his mouth from hers and went for her neck, Sara was astonished to see this wild-eyed wanton in the mirror facing her. She hardly recognised herself or the strength of her desire coursing through her body.  
  
"I want you hard inside me, now!"   
  
Despite the sexual jolt her words gave him, Grissom felt a glimmer of sanity peek through his arousal.  
  
"Not here, no time. Just a few seconds - wait!"  
  
This last in response to Sara as she tugged on his belt with one hand while running her other over his erection through the pants material. He managed to get her hands in his just as they stopped at the third floor and the doors opened. Fortunately there was no one to see their hasty exit as he towed a giggling Sara back to his room.   
  
Grissom managed to get them both inside before anyone saw them fumbling with his keycard. The door had barely closed when Sara grabbed him and pulled him over to the desk in front of the big picture mirror. The mirror in the lift had given her an idea.  
  
With her back to the desk she faced Grissom and kissed him deeply. They were soon back up to where they had left off, but Grissom was puzzled when Sara turned away from him but then backed herself against him. He was about to ask what was going on when he looked up and caught her eyes in the mirror. He caught on fast.  
  
Grissom quickly slid both of his hands down Sara's arms as she stood in front of him. He stopped at her wrists and moved her hands to the desk so that she was leaning forward, her ass pressing back into his erection. He was leaning over, pressed against her body. He used one hand to move Sara's hair to gain access to her neck and kissed her spine above her shirt collar. He felt her shudder and glanced in the mirror. Sara's eyes met his and fire met fire.  
  
"I want you inside me."  
  
She knew that she was more than ready for him, and he certainly felt ready to her.  
  
"I never argue with a lady."  
  
Grissom quickly used his left hand to lift up Sara's skirt and pull down her panties while his other hand freed himself. He moved slightly forward, lining himself up and then looked into the mirror. As soon as their eyes met he rammed himself into her, rocking her forward with the force of it. She pushed back against him in time with his thrusts, and soon they were both grunting in pleasure at the rapidly building pressure within them. Grissom tugged open Sara's shirt, exposing her bra-less breasts; he moved his hands to cup them and watched the ecstatic expression on Sara's face as he held her tight.   
  
"Honey...that feels... so good!"   
  
Sara's words were spaced between Grissom's thrusts.  
  
Grissom was amazed she was capable of speech because he didn't think he was. He wanted to tell her that she was amazing, that she turned him on like no one had ever done before, that she was hot and tight and incredible but he couldn't because he suspected that all he would manage would be moans of pleasure.   
  
Grissom's gaze flicked back and forth between Sara's reflection and where they were joined, watching himself slide rapidly in and out of her body. Both were an incredible turn on and he felt elemental. He transferred his hands to Sara's hips to brace her as he picked up the pace. Soon he was slamming in to her as she pushed back to meet him.   
  
Sara's eyes kept closing in ecstasy only to open again because she wanted to watch Grissom in the mirror. She'd never done this in this way before but boy, did it push her buttons. And it was definitely doing it for Griss. This was the Grissom that she had fantasised about but never expected to see, a man losing control and taken with passion.   
  
Then Sara ceased to think, reduced to mindless instinct, taken and taking. They strained against each other; harder and faster until finally it was too much and Sara climaxed in an explosion of sensation that left her dizzy. As she cried out her muscles clamped down on Grissom and his climax followed immediately upon hers, filling her with his seed until he was drained in every sense of the word.  
  
When the red haze had cleared and he could see again, Grissom's legs were shaking with the effort of keeping him and Sara upright. They were both gasping for breath.  
  
Finally Sara's head came up and they could see each other's face in the mirror.  
  
"That was ...Jeez...I can't think. Freakin' amazing."   
  
Grissom nodded, wiping the sweat out of his eyes, not sure he had enough air for speech yet. He had the very un-PC urge to fall on the bed and sleep for a week.   
  
Sara straightened after a minute or two and reluctantly separated from Grissom. She turned around within his arms to smile up at him.  
  
"Awesome." She placed the flat of her hand on his chest, feeling his heart still racing. " It's never been like that for me."   
  
"Nor me."  
  
Sara had to fight the urge to tell Grissom that she loved him and only him and that there would never be anyone else who could touch her the way that he had.  
  
Grissom had never experienced anything like this intensity before, this transcended anything in his past experience.   
  
"Awesome." He tested the word on his tongue and nodded again. "Yes, I think that covers it nicely."  
  
Sara dragged Grissom to the newly made bed.  
  
"I need a nap. And you're far too polite to admit you want one too, so get in."  
  
"Yes, Ma'am."  
  
At Grissom's meek tone, Sara started to laugh as she stripped off.  
  
"Pack that in."  
  
"Yes, Ma'am."  
  
Grissom had shed his remaining clothes and got in the bed. He held the cover up for Sara to get in. She did so and moved straight into his arms, still smiling. They settled comfortably. After a few moments, Sara looked up at Grissom, whose eyes were closed.  
  
"Nice wallpaper."  
  
He smiled without opening his eyes.  
  
"I thought so."   
  
^^^^^^  
  
Day Nine.  
  
Sara looked at the suitcases on the bed and could not believe where the time had gone. It seemed like only yesterday that she was unpacking for the second time on the holiday. On the fourth day she had checked out of her room and transferred her stuff to Grissom's room at his suggestion. She had been astonished but had hopefully hidden it from him better than she had with his 'beauty' comment at the ice rink. It was a major undertaking from him, sharing his personal space, but she tried not to read too much into it.   
  
They had occasionally referred to each other as Ms. Smith and Mr. Jones, almost as if to remind themselves that their 'situation' wasn't real.   
  
They were booked on the same flight tomorrow, a Saturday. It would give them chance to settle back in to their real lives before work on Monday night.   
  
Sara rearranged her shoes in her case and resisted the urge to stick something of hers in Grissom's case so that he'd have to give it back to her. She knew he'd see through that ploy in a heartbeat and she didn't want to spoil what they'd had. She was under no illusion that Grissom would not be able to keep to his side of the agreement, but she was unsure of her own ability. Before, she had only her imagination to supply her fantasy, now she had memories and real images. It would be so much harder now.  
  
Grissom silently padded out of the en-suite behind Sara, a towel around his waist, another one around his neck as he dried his wet hair. Even from the back he could sense something was wrong.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. I can never understand how it all fit when I left, but the same stuff doesn't fit on the way home. I haven't bought anything extra."  
  
Grissom stopped towelling for a moment. He knew that wasn't the real problem.  
  
"If you're stuck, put some in my case."  
  
He resumed towelling and so did not see Sara's reaction to that statement. If she was not going to tell him what the real problem was, then it must involve an area that they'd agreed not to discuss.  
  
Sara was sure that her jaw had hit the deck. Ohmigod! Did he have any clue what he had just said? Or did it not have any significance other than practicality to him?   
  
"Umm, thanks."  
  
She hoped that sounded just the correct amount of 'casual'.  
  
"What do you want to do to-day?"  
  
Grissom's enquiry came as he collected clean underwear.  
  
"I don't mind, but I would like to walk along the beach at least once before we go back. Apart from that I'm yours."  
  
Sara absently jammed in another T-shirt mainly to stop her hands from shaking. She was very aware of Grissom standing behind her.  
  
"You're mine?"  
  
He sounded odd. Sort of amused but curious.  
  
  
  
Sara looked over her shoulder and batted her eyelashes in an exaggerated fashion.  
  
"Oh yeah, honey, anytime."  
  
"In the interests of actually getting out of this room, I shall ignore the obvious in that comment."  
  
Grissom smirked as he shrugged into his T-shirt and reached for his pants.  
  
"Catch you later."   
  
"More than likely."  
  
Grissom sounded like he was looking forward to it. He came up behind Sara and put his arms around her waist. She rested her arms on his and leaned back against his chest. She felt his lips briefly on the back of her neck beside her ponytail. It wasn't a signal of sexual intent rather the kind of kiss established couples have that state 'I'm glad that you are with me'. Sara's eyes closed quickly against the sudden sting of tears and she willed them away. She had composed herself by the time Grissom let her go to help her lift the open cases flat on to the floor.   
  
Time to go and enjoy their last full day.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
They visited Silver Springs and had a ride on a glass bottom boat, marvelling at the clarity of the water. It was no wonder that a lot of the underwater movies were filmed there.  
  
Sara purchased a few things for the guys at work, souvenirs to let them know that she had thought of them at least once while away. She did not mention work to Grissom, not wanting to remind him of their 'other life'.  
  
They drove back to the hotel and returned the hire car late in the afternoon.  
  
After their evening meal they carried their shoes and walked along the beach for a while, just enjoying the cool breeze coming in off the sea and the sound of the waves on the sand. It was their last night together and they wanted to make the most of it.   
  
When they returned later to their room, their lovemaking was a quieter, more tender tribute to each other than anything before. When they finally fell asleep, their arms, legs, even fingers were intertwined as if they couldn't bear to let the other go.   
  
Some time in the early hours of the morning, while it was still dark, Sara woke briefly, finding herself spooned to Grissom's back. She softly kissed his back and lay her cheek against him. In the dark she murmured quietly,  
  
"I love you, Gil Grissom, but I set you free."   
  
She closed her eyes and slipped back into sleep, glad she had told him just once, even if he'd never know.  
  
Grissom opened his eyes.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Breakfast was a subdued affair, neither of them had much appetite.   
  
They checked out of the hotel and took a taxi to the airport. Ironically every aspect of the journey went smoothly despite the fact that Sara wanted to be delayed and before they knew it they were seated in the non-smoking section of the plane.  
  
As usual, the minute she was on a plane, Sara thought about THAT conversation. After about ten minute of fidgeting, she could stand the suspense no longer.  
  
"Was there really an article in the Applied Psychodynamics in Forensic Science magazine?"  
  
Grissom looked up from reading the 'how to escape if you haven't died on impact' instructions. He had no trouble remembering which article Sara was referring to and his lips twitched sideways as he tried not to smile.  
  
"I offered to get you a subscription, did I not?"  
  
"Mmm." Sara turned her head to look at Grissom in his seat.  
  
He was looking over his glasses at her with a distinct gleam in his eyes. Was this Mr. Jones or was Grissom back? Sara wasn't certain she wanted to find out just yet. Luckily she was spared having to as the pilot chose that moment to turn on to the runway and the cabin staff began their safety piece.   
  
It wasn't until later, after the meal, that Sara got her answer.  
  
"I need your help Sara."  
  
Startled, Sara looked up from her magazine into Grissom's blue eyes.  
  
"Sure. What's up?"   
  
"I need to gather some data."  
  
Something about the way he said it made Sara's heart start to beat faster.  
  
"Oh?"   
  
"Yes. Back up information about altitude and ...euphoric states."  
  
Sara was openly grinning at 'Mr Jones' now.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Grissom nodded.  
  
"Well, you can never have too much data, and experiments should be repeatable."  
  
"Especially when the opportunity...arises."   
  
"I can see that..." Sara's glance flicked down and back up, "...it makes sense."   
  
Grissom handed her an airsickness bag. "You don't look well."  
  
"I guess I need the bathroom pretty quickly."   
  
Sara had the aisle seat and stood up, clutching the bag in a very convincing manner. As usual when someone looked as if they might be sick other people got out of the way and avoided eye contact. These passengers were no different.  
  
Grissom followed her, the very picture of concern.   
  
There was more than one toilet on the plane, but Sara headed for the nearest, figuring it would look more natural. It was the furthest from the cabin crew's station and nearest to the back of the plane. All the passenger seats faced away from its alcove.  
  
Sara opened the door and slipped inside. She left the door slightly ajar and put down the lid on the toilet. Moments later she saw Grissom glance quickly forward down the plane before he entered the cramped cubicle and locked the door.   
  
For a second they just looked at each other, almost as if neither of them could actually believe that they were both in the toilet. Sara fought to stop a giggle escaping. She would remember this forever.  
  
Grissom couldn't believe that he was actually going to do this. Had even instigated the whole situation. Once Sara had mentioned that article he had not been able to stop thinking about it, hence his 'prominent' problem.   
  
Sara pulled him into her arms and kissed him thoroughly and Grissom stopped worrying about the 'why'. They both knew why they were here. As they kissed he slid his hands up under Sara's skirt and pulled her panties down until she could step out of them, then he pocketed the small damp scrap of lace. He picked Sara up and propped her on the thick rim around the sink, where she quickly moved her legs apart so that he could stand between them. Sara's hands were already undoing his belt and tucking the ends in the pockets so that they didn't jangle. While she tackled his zipper he was making short work of the buttons on her top and soon had her breasts exposed. He leaned Sara back so that he could briefly kiss both of the pert nipples. She pulled down his boxers sufficiently to release him in to her waiting hand and gave him a few firm strokes simply because she loved touching the smooth silky hardness of him. She hooked one long leg behind Grissom's thigh and pulled him closer, guiding him into her with one hand. He used both hands to hold on to the cheeks of her bottom and keep her steady as he slid into her welcoming heat. When he was fully sheathed they both paused for a moment to enjoy the sensation, and Grissom took the opportunity to snatch a kiss. Sara held on to him with both arms around his neck and urged him on. He needed no prompting, pulling almost all the way out, and then surging back in forcefully.  
  
Sara muffled her moans of delight in Grissom's neck as he got into his stride, a slow but hard rhythm. He seemed almost to pause at the deepest point within Sara, pull most of the way out, and then thrust back hard. Sara found herself anticipating each thrust as it drove her inexorably closer to climax. She was so much more aware of how he felt inside her, the hard glide back and forth, the building pressure, her stomach muscles contracting to tip her pelvis and her internal muscles gripping Grissom as if to prevent his leaving.   
  
The slow pace was driving her wild and she had the urge to scream at him to hurry the fuck up but she also wanted to see where this was going because it was promising to be huge. She could feel it building in waves, each thrust adding to the last, layers washing over her. She could feel the heat in her face and see the concentration on Grissom's. He knew! He knew exactly what he was doing to her! Sara could feel the rising intensity - she couldn't contain all this sensation it was too hot, too bright, too much. She could hear moaning and didn't realise that she was the one doing it.  
  
Grissom ached with the effort it took not to go any faster. The urge to just plunge into Sara was overwhelming but he'd resisted her for three years so he knew something about control. It wouldn't take a lot though, he knew he couldn't last much longer. He tried to keep his eyes closed to take his mind off Sara's responsiveness, but he could still see her in his mind's eye and her profound reaction to him caused a feedback reaction in him, increasing his arousal. There was only one way this was going to end and it was imminent.   
  
Sara was beyond rational thought. Her arms were locked around Grissom's shoulders and she had his bunched shirt material in each tight fist. The waves were rolling over her one after another, so fast that they were overlapping until finally she was there, soaring up into the light, the seemingly endless ecstasy going on and on with each thrust. It had never lasted this long, never.   
  
Grissom had never been so grateful in his life before to feel the tight clenching around him that signalled climax. He gave only two or three quick thrusts and surrendered gratefully to his own powerful orgasm, spilling his seed deep into Sara's body even as she milked him dry with her still contracting muscles.   
  
Grissom wanted to collapse but there was no room. Extraordinarily, in the heat of the moment, he'd forgotten that they were still in the toilet. He prayed that no one had heard Sara above the aircraft noise. He gently withdrew from her and grabbed some tissues for them both.  
  
Sara couldn't hear the plane over the roaring in her ears. She felt faint and her legs were rubbery. She felt boneless and couldn't move. She just looked at Grissom with huge stunned eyes. She looked as if she were in shock.  
  
"You okay?" Grissom asked with concern.  
  
"Stars." Sara whispered.  
  
"Stars?" Now he was baffled.  
  
"Can you see them spinning around my head?" Sara asked.  
  
Grissom's face was transformed with relief. He smiled, a combination of pride and humour with a dash of smug on the side.   
  
"Oh, those stars. Careful they don't bump into mine."  
  
Sara grinned, gradually feeling connected to reality again.   
  
"That one is going the top of my orgasm chart. Knocked any previous one for six."  
  
  
  
Grissom's glance flew to her face to see if she was joking.  
  
"You have a chart?"  
  
"All women do, don't let them tell you otherwise."   
  
Sara allowed Grissom to help her down and she stood unsteadily for a moment, clinging to his arm.  
  
"I had no idea." He smiled, shaking his head.  
  
"Actually, you're responsible for nine of the ones in my top ten. The former number one was the one with the mirror."  
  
Grissom didn't know what to say.  
  
But he felt pretty damn good.  
  
They finished tidying their clothes and cleaning up, and were about to open the door when Sara suddenly remembered her panties.   
  
Grissom smirked and patted his pants pocket.  
  
"Don't worry, they're safe."  
  
He unlocked and opened the door cautiously before she could protest further. After a quick glance outside he slipped out of the toilet and pulled the door shut behind him. He assumed his concerned face and made his way back to his seat. No one paid him any attention.  
  
A few minutes later he was joined by Sara who was still feigning airsickness.  
  
"Are you okay?" Grissom's query had just the right amount of concern.  
  
Sara had no need to fake the still wobbly legs and shaking hands. The only thing she found difficult was keeping the silly grin off her face.  
  
"Feeling much better, but I feel I could do with a nap if you wouldn't mind getting a blanket down for me."  
  
'You and me both' Grissom thought as he pulled down a blanket and helped her unfold it over them both.   
  
As they settled back into their seats, Grissom suddenly had a thought.  
  
"You said nine."  
  
Sara was reclining facing him and she opened her eyes and smirked. She wondered when that would sink in.  
  
"What was the other one?" Grissom would not rest until he knew.  
  
"First one I gave myself. Truly spectacular in the cosmic sense."  
  
Grissom looked stunned, but Sara hadn't finished with him yet.  
  
"And if you're wondering, it's number ten on the list now."   
  
Sara closed her eyes and pulled the blanket up around her chin. That would give him something to stew on.  
  
Grissom looked at her face.  
  
'Well.' He thought.   
  
'Awesome.'  
  
That covered it nicely.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom found himself drifting, not quite awake but not entirely asleep. The plane noise retreated into the background as he allowed his mind to go over the last nine days that he had spent with Sara, savouring all his - their - experiences and storing as much away as he could into his long-term memory. It wasn't just the sexual aspects of the holiday he recalled - fantastic as that was - but everything else. The way Sara buttered her toast. Had her coffee. Cleaned her teeth. Her beautiful smile. The way her eyes lit up when she was enthusiastic about something. Hearing her laughter. Even the daft way that she'd shoo him out of the bathroom when she wanted to use the toilet, even though he'd seen her naked in the shower.   
  
He found his mouth curving into a smile as he remembered her outrage when he had laughed. It had been the nearest thing to an argument that they'd had.   
  
Even making up had been fun.   
  
And she loved him.  
  
Hearing those words from Sara, even though she had never intended for him to hear them, had been a blessing that he had never expected to have. Those words would be what kept him going through the dark times. A secret to hug to his heart.   
  
Grissom sank deeper into sleep and dreamed of Sara.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara stood beside the carousal and waited for their cases to appear. By unspoken agreement she and Grissom had continued with the Smith/Jones charade when they had awoken on the plane. She suspected that Gil Grissom would make his appearance in the taxi on the way to his place. And he would break her heart.  
  
Grissom pulled their cases off as they came past and carried the two heaviest, leaving Sara the lighter third case. They queued for a taxi and the ride to Grissom's address was quiet.   
  
On the way it started to rain in big fat drops that splattered on the windshield and Sara thought how appropriate it was that the sky wanted to cry too.  
  
When the taxi stopped outside Grissom's place, the driver got out and quickly retrieved Grissom's cases from the trunk. Grissom paid him and gave him enough to get Sara home with a tip. He turned back to Sara, still huddled in the corner.  
  
"Sara, I..." Grissom began.  
  
"Please don't." She looked at him bravely, her chin held high, "Anything you say will sound like goodbye."  
  
  
  
Grissom nodded once. He climbed out of the taxi and shut the door.   
  
He turned to watch the taxi as it pulled away. Ten yards. Twenty. Thirty yards. He had turned back to pick up his cases when he heard the squeal of brakes. He looked back at Sara's taxi in time to see it pull over. The door flew open and Sara got out, getting soaked. She started to walk back to Grissom and without realising it he started to walk towards her. She picked up speed and so did he, until they were both running.   
  
Sara flew into Grissom's arms and he kissed her fiercely while the rain poured down on them both.   
  
When the kiss finally ended they looked at each other. They looked like drowned rats and the humour of it made Sara able to grin when she didn't feel like it at all.  
  
"I know nothing has changed. I understand that. Tell Mr. Jones I'll miss him."  
  
"I shall."  
  
Grissom put her back in the taxi and this time watched until it was a blur in the distance. He touched his fingers to his lips.  
  
Awesome.  
  
TBC?  
  
Shall I leave it there or does anyone want to know what happens when they get back to work? I was going to continue this until they came to their senses, but my 'short' fic has run away with itself. I leave it in your capable hands. Mine are, after all, shaking from sleep deprivation:) 


	2. The holiday assignment 2

Disclaimer: C.S.I. still not my property. Have dipped into their lives briefly to leave them stirred, but not shaken.  
  
Title: The Holiday Assignment (2)  
  
Author: hazeleyes57  
  
Spoilers: Nothing earth shattering 'cos I've only just heard about the beard!  
  
Author's note: Part two of 'The Holiday Assignment' which seemed to go down quite well to my pleasant surprise (English modesty at work :)). Thank you to all those of you who left reviews for part one, it certainly encouraged me to carry on. This is just a short chapter covering the weekend immediately prior to their return to work. I'm not teasing you: part three will be the last part. Probably.  
  
Summary: Grissom and Sara are back in Vegas after their holiday. What will happen when they meet in the real world?  
  
Rating: R  
  
The Holiday Assignment (2)  
  
Sara lugged her suitcase into her apartment and put it down gratefully. She could swear that it had gained weight the nearer she got to her front door. She and the case were still dripping from the rain that had started on her way back from the airport. The driver of the cab had been less than impressed with her getting back in the vehicle soaked after her impassioned goodbye with Grissom, and had given her filthy looks all the way back to her place. She hardly noticed, having been caught up in her own misery. Before she knew it she had been standing in the rain beside her case on the sidewalk with the sound of the cab disappearing in the distance.   
  
Sara wiped the case down with paper towels and left it in the hall. She kicked off her shoes, then went through to the bathroom and started running the shower, shedding her wet clothes into the hand basin. She'd deal with them later.  
  
She tested the water temperature and stepped in to the shower's stream, allowing the warmth to soak into her chilled flesh. As soon as she closed her eyes to allow the water to cascade over her head she had a flashback to her last shower.   
  
The one she had taken with Grissom.  
  
She groaned at the jolt of awareness that had run through her as she remembered what had happened.  
  
Dammit, was this going to keep on happening now? Would she see Grissom in everything she did that they had done together? Would there be any peace?   
  
With her eyes still closed she felt around for her shower gel and came up empty, which was when she realised that it was still packed in her case.   
  
For Sara that was the last straw. She brought her hands up to her face and finally allowed the tears to fall. At first it was silent, then she started crying in earnest. Great heart wrenching cries of anguish for what she had both found and lost. She cried for herself, for all the might-have-beens, but mostly she cried for Grissom. At least she knew what she had lost.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom stood in front of his sound system trying to decide what type of music he was in the mood for. All he had decided so far was that he did not want silence. Silence gave him too much time to think. He could face a bloated days old corpse without flinching but his own thoughts scared him enough to want to avoid them.   
  
He gave up trying to decide and hit the random selection option. He had loaded the CD's a couple of weeks ago and was not certain what was in there, but he'd find out shortly.  
  
He retrieved his coffee from the kitchen bar counter, took it over to the couch and sat down, placing his mug on the coffee table. He picked up a crossword puzzle book and pen from the same table, only to put it down again a few minutes later when it became obvious that he could not concentrate on even the most mundane clues.  
  
He picked up his coffee and took a cautious sip of the bitter brew. The first song finished and another started up. Aah, Robbie Robertson. Soothing.   
  
'With eyes of fire no one can see...'  
  
Grissom closed his eyes and leaned back. He kicked his slippers off.  
  
'...covers me, I am drawn...I am drawn...to her, like a moth to a flame she leads me now, unbound...'  
  
Grissom's mind yanked him straight back to Sara.   
  
'...I am lost, I am lost...has anybody seen me? I am lost...'  
  
Damn the man, was he reading his mind? Grissom knew that he'd never be able to listen to this song again without thinking of Sara.  
  
He had been drawn to her, even at thirty-six, when she had been a twenty-one year old at one of his guest lectures.  
  
His moth to her flame. So deadly, so dangerous.   
  
But when had danger ever seemed so compellingly attractive? But he was not unbound, he was bound. Tied to Sara.   
  
'...wherever I am she leads me now, unbound. No borders, no fences, no walls...'  
  
He took another sip of his coffee and lay his head back again, staring at the ceiling but seeing only Sara's face as she stood in the rain outside his apartment.  
  
After the taxi had left, he had not even noticed how wet he was until he was standing in a puddle of water inside his front door. He had left his cases where they were and gone straight to his shower to warm up.   
  
It wasn't until he applied his soap that his traitorous mind conjured up Sara's naked image. She had used his gel in their shower that morning - used it on him, running her hands over his chest, his stomach, his - Christ, he couldn't even have a simple shower without thinking of her.   
  
He'd dressed, made coffee and something to eat, even though he had no appetite. Everything he did took him further away from the time he'd spent with Sara and he resented it.  
  
The last note of Robbie's faded away. Grissom closed his eyes as the next song began.  
  
He wondered if she had got home okay. He opened his eyes again to locate his phone. Perhaps he should give her a quick ring, just to make sure she'd arrived safely.  
  
He found the phone and started to dial. He pressed cancel. Would she misinterpret his concern as something more than its face value? If it had been another work colleague or a female friend like Catherine, he would have rung without a thought. He redialled her number from memory, chastising himself for his indecisiveness.   
  
For all his internal debating, it never occurred to him that his call would go straight through to her answerphone, and it caught him off guard.  
  
He heard the message and the beep and hesitated. Was she listening to see who it was before answering? He uncharacteristically dithered.  
  
"Umm...just checking to see that you got in okay..."   
  
He paused again.   
  
"...Call - " the recording tape clicked off. "- me when you can." He finished to the dial tone.  
  
He sighed heavily as he hung up. Shit. Was she home? She should be by now. Perhaps she was in the shower. He groaned at the image that sprung to mind. She probably couldn't hear the phone in the shower. He'd give her half an hour. Maybe.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara crossed her living room with a towel around her wet hair and wearing her bathrobe. She headed for the kitchen area. Her eyes were red from her crying jag but she felt a little better.  
  
So she had gambled and lost. She had hoped that ten days with Grissom would be so good that he'd see the light.  
  
Obviously not.  
  
At least she had some fantastic - she smiled, no, some awesome memories that she would have to live on until -. Her thought cut off abruptly, as she noticed that her answerphone light was blinking. She had checked it before her shower and there had not been any messages.   
  
She walked over and pressed the button. One message six minutes ago. Her heart leapt. Who else knew that she was back?  
  
The tape began to playback and when she heard the silence her shoulders drooped. Just a hang up caller - Grissom's voice made her jump when he finally spoke.  
  
'Umm...just checking to see that you got in okay...'  
  
His voice had an odd quality to it, as if he'd been caught unprepared. There was a long pause and Sara thought that he'd finished until she heard the last fragment.  
  
"...Call -"  
  
The tape stopped and automatically started to rewind. Sara stopped it, removed the tape and inserted a fresh one. She didn't want Grissom taped over. Sad or what?  
  
He wanted her to call him back. Was this Grissom asking or Mr. Jones? Probably Grissom. She switched off the answering machine and took the handset with her to the couch. She sat down, curling her legs under the end of her bathrobe and tucking her bare feet between the seat cushions. She pulled one of the smaller cushions on to her lap to hug it for comfort.  
  
She looked at the phone as if it would provide the answer she needed. He said to call. It would not be against the rules.   
  
Sara jumped out of her skin when the phone suddenly started ringing. She nearly dropped it in her haste to pick up. She answered on the third ring and then cursed herself for not waiting a couple of rings longer. Too keen.   
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Where were you?" Grissom sounded abrupt.  
  
'And hello to you too.' Sara thought. Serves him right if I tell him, then he'd be thinking about it too.  
  
"In the shower. I got very wet recently."  
  
"Oh." Pause. "Okay."  
  
Sara resisted the urge to rush into speech. Come on Griss, say something, anything.  
  
"I just wanted to make sure that you got home okay."  
  
Sara hugged the cushion hard.  
  
"I got home." She confirmed. The implication that she was not 'okay' hung in the air.   
  
Grissom wanted to say something about the holiday. He didn't know what, but he wasn't ready for it to be over yet. Would he ever be ready? Indecision kept him silent.  
  
When it became clear that Grissom was not going to speak Sara carried on.  
  
"Monday night. Back at work. Catherine is bound to ask how we got on. What are we going to tell her?"  
  
Grissom was shocked that it had not crossed his mind to discuss this earlier.   
  
"I don't know." He said honestly.  
  
"You don't want to tell her the truth, obviously." I'd tell her in a heartbeat.  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"And we can't tell her that we didn't see each other either. She'd never believe that was possible. Not in the same hotel."   
  
"No. She wouldn't."  
  
Sara wondered if Grissom was going to contribute to this conversation or just agree with everything she said. She imagined the scene in his office.  
  
'Actually, Cath. Sara and I hardly left the hotel because we were screwing each other's brain's out the entire time.'  
  
Yep, that would go down well. Catherine's face would be a picture.  
  
"Well, we have to come up with something. If Catherine rings you before Monday and you tell her whatever you're going to tell her, ring me and let me know so that we can get our stories straight."  
  
"Of course."  
  
There was another pause and Sara had a thought.  
  
"Grissom, if you were concerned about me getting home, why didn't we stop at mine first?"  
  
Grissom took so long to answer that she thought that he wasn't going to.  
  
" I didn't trust myself not to ask you if I could come in with you."  
  
Sara's jaw dropped at that admission and the cushion she was holding got throttled. She couldn't speak for a moment because of the strong emotions she felt.  
  
Grissom didn't know why he'd admitted that to Sara. He had barely admitted it to himself. And it hurt.   
  
"Thank you."  
  
Grissom was non-plussed.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Thank you for admitting that you were tempted. Don't worry, I won't hold it against you."  
  
Although her tone was light, her pain was evident to Grissom. He'd hurt her. Again.  
  
Sara was lost again. He kept doing this. He would give with one hand and take away with the other. She didn't know where she stood.   
  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I keep hurting you and it's the last thing I want to do. I knew it was a bad idea - "  
  
"Don't! Don't you dare spoil my holiday by telling me it was a bad idea! It wasn't. I know the rules and I haven't broken them. Don't punish me by saying that you regret what happened."  
  
Grissom sighed heavily.   
  
"I do not regret one single moment. I'm just sorry that you are hurting too."  
  
Sara closed her eyes as tears threatened to fall. She struggled to keep her voice light.  
  
"Hey, I'm a big girl, I'll survive. It's not like I haven't been hurt before." By you.  
  
"I know."  
  
There was another silence. Neither of them wanted to hang up.  
  
"Look, Griss, we'll tell Catherine that we bumped into each other in the lift - the best lies are based on truth - and we griped about her, then mostly went our separate ways, except for the odd day. Keep it simple. Don't elaborate."  
  
"Very well."  
  
"See ya Monday."   
  
Sara pressed end call before she could say anything damaging. Like 'come on over and I'll cook supper after we get out of bed'.   
  
Grissom put down his phone and leaned back on the couch. He'd caved and phoned her after ten minutes. So much for back to normal.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara sat bolt upright. Something Grissom had said had only just sunk in.  
  
'...I'm just sorry that you're hurting too.'  
  
He was hurting?   
  
Of course he was hurting. He wasn't a cruel man, well, not deliberately. It didn't mean anything. She would just squash that little burst of hope straightaway.  
  
It was too quiet now. Sara got up from the couch and turned on the radio on the way to the kitchen. She made herself a drink but couldn't be bothered to make herself something to eat. She still hadn't picked up any fresh food or milk yet.  
  
She glanced guiltily at the suitcase still by the door. It seemed stupid to even think it, but she didn't want to unpack yet. Unpacking would mean that the holiday was really over. It was ridiculous, she needed her toiletries and her make-up, and that fabulous oh-so-successful dress ought to be hung up properly. She ought to get a wash run on too.  
  
After her drink then. Definitely.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom eyed his now dry cases. He had carried them in to the bedroom earlier and left them unopened. He had been busy. The rainwater puddle had been cleaned up. He had checked his mail. He had dusted his moth and butterfly collection. Rearranged his cutlery drawer.  
  
Finally he had run out of excuses. Time to unpack.  
  
He lifted both cases on to the double bed, opened them and lay them flat. He steeled himself against the image of Sara packing in their hotel room.   
  
Grissom efficiently put away the clean stuff, hung up the jackets and dumped the laundry in the wash bin. He started unzipping his shoe bags and came to a screaming halt when the third bag yielded a pair of high heel sandals.  
  
Dismay fought with a smirk on his face and the smirk won. Unless he was much mistaken, these were not his.  
  
Oh dear.  
  
He recognised them as the sandals that went with THAT dress. He vividly remembered taking them off her feet. So vividly, in fact, that he was now physically uncomfortable.  
  
He left the sandals on his bed and reluctantly continued unpacking the other case.  
  
Ten minutes later, hands on his hips, he stared at the two empty cases. He checked his closet shelves, then his drawers, and then the laundry bin.   
  
He was missing a shirt.  
  
Grissom's smirk got bigger.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara stepped back from hanging her purple dress in the bathroom. The few creases would drop out, the dress was fine. She grinned at the memory of Grissom's stunned face when he had first seen her in it. And when he'd first seen her out of it.  
  
Awesome.  
  
Sara went back in to her bedroom. She only had shoes and The Shirt left.  
  
The shirt had been the one Grissom wore on their last full day.  
  
Sara picked the shirt up and held it to her face. She inhaled deeply and was instantly transported back into Grissom's arms. It smelled unmistakably his. His shower gel, his cologne, his musk, the undefinable him. Sara felt the tug in her stomach and between her legs. Just his scent aroused her.  
  
If only she could preserve this.  
  
Sara went quickly in to her kitchen. She hunted through until she found an unused resealable sandwich baggie. Perfect. She put the shirt in the baggie and sealed along the edge. She went back in to her bedroom and placed the package in her beside drawer.  
  
Fair's fair. He still had her panties.  
  
She returned to her case, tipped out the shoe bags and started to put them away unopened. The last one was heavier than expected so she unzipped it and was genuinely surprised to see Grissom's loafers. She must have put these in her case and her sandals in Grissom's case. Talk about Freudian slip. They had laughed about them having the same type of shoe bag when she had unpacked in Grissom's room, yet another example of the geek meld.  
  
He'd never believe that this was not deliberate. He'd think she planned this.   
  
Oh shit, shit, shit.   
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom looked at his watch. Eight p.m. Not too late.  
  
Supervisor Grissom fought briefly with Mr. Jones.   
  
There was a clear winner.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara let herself back in to her apartment and kicked the door shut behind her. She dropped her keys and the shopping on the counter and unpacked the food. First out were the strawberries, her favourite fruit - now. Her stomach flip-flopped with the memory.  
  
When everything was stored away Sara opened a bottle of wine and made a sandwich. She had left the radio on when she went out and it stopped the loneliness encroaching.  
  
She settled on the couch, putting her feet up so that she could prop her magazine against her knees. A few minutes later her attention drifted away from the article she was reading when the next song began with the sound of waves on a beach. She remembered walking hand in hand, then arm in arm with Grissom on the beach.  
  
' Two weeks away feels like the whole world should have changed but I'm home now and things still look the same.'  
  
Sara swallowed her mouthful of sandwich and sat frozen listening to the female singer's voice.  
  
' I think I'll leave it 'till tomorrow to unpack, try to forget for one more night that I'm back in my flat on the road where the cars never stop going through the night to a life where I can't watch the sun set, I don't have time, I don't have time.'  
  
Sara was stunned. The lyrics were so apropos to her circumstances.   
  
'I've still got sand in my shoes and I can't shake the thought of you. I should get on, forget you, but why would I want to. I know we said goodbye, anything else would have been confused, but I want to see you again - '   
  
Sara shot off the couch and scrambled for a pen. The first one she found didn't work and she threw it aside impatiently. The second pen did and she scribbled ' sand in shoes/female' on the back of her magazine while the singer went on about going back to work tomorrow. The chorus repeated and Sara stood beside the radio, poised with her pen.  
  
'Two weeks away, all it takes, to change and turn me around I've fallen. I walked away and never said that I wanted to see you again - '  
  
The hairs on the back of Sara's neck went up and goosebumps appeared on her arms. She was living every word.  
  
Finally the song ended and the DJ informed listeners that the song was called 'sand in my shoes' from Dido's new album, White Flag.  
  
Sara scribbled the details down. Dido, White Flag. Got it. Or she would have by tomorrow.  
  
She went back to the couch and sat back down. She took a large swig of wine to calm herself. That had been spooky.  
  
Sara picked the magazine back up and had just found her article when the doorbell went. She put the magazine down again and went over to the door. She used the peephole and fell back in surprise. Grissom. Crap. He must have found her sandals.  
  
She opened the door wide. Grissom looked up from his perusal of the floor. He was not smiling and apprehension slid along Sara's spine.  
  
"Hi." Rats, that had sounded nervous. "What's up?"  
  
Grissom nodded once to acknowledge her greeting and when Sara moved to the side he took it as an invitation to enter. Sara shut the door behind him and waited.  
  
The silence had just become uncomfortable when he finally spoke.  
  
"I wondered if I could speak with...Ms. Smith?"  
  
Sara's heart slammed triple time in her chest. She only kept her mouth from dropping open by sheer strength of will. She clasped suddenly clammy hands together.  
  
  
  
"I...I'm not sure she's here. May I ask who wants to see her?"  
  
Grissom managed not to glare at her.  
  
"Tell her it's...Mr. Jones."  
  
Sara finally allowed her delighted grin to break out. Her dark eyes sparkled and Grissom marvelled anew at the transformation from beautiful to stunning.  
  
"It's an unexpected pleasure to see you again Mr. Jones."  
  
Grissom moved closer to Sara and gave her the shoe bag containing her sandals.  
  
"Yours, I believe?"  
  
Sara took the bag and looked into his blue eyes.  
  
"I swear it was an accident, I must have picked them up together and just - "  
  
Sara stopped abruptly when Grissom placed a finger on her lips.  
  
"I know, it's okay." He said gently. Any doubts he may have had were cleared by her earnest expression. Besides, it didn't matter if she had planned it, he didn't mind. She could - his thoughts hitched suddenly when he felt the unmistakable touch of her tongue on his finger.  
  
There was only one thing to clear up quickly. He stared in to her eyes.  
  
"The holiday ends tomorrow when we get back to work."  
  
Sara 'umm'd' in agreement, willing to agree to almost anything at this point.  
  
Grissom's head bent towards hers.  
  
"Totally over. Finished." Grissom wondered whom he was trying to convince as his arms slid around Sara's body.  
  
"Finished. Totally over. Understood." She said breathlessly as her arms went up around his shoulders.  
  
"This can't happen again." Grissom groaned out just before his lips finally claimed Sara's in a kiss all the sweeter for being forbidden.  
  
Sara would have replied but her mouth was busy. Grissom's tongue sought admission and she opened under his tender assault.   
  
Grissom felt like he had been without Sara for weeks. She was his oasis and he was dying of thirst. He plundered her mouth without mercy. When he finally had to come up for air he looked at her flushed face and silently gave her a choice while he still could. She pulled him back down to her lips and kissed him deeply, her decision made.  
  
As they kissed their hands were pulling at each others clothing and gradually the layers peeled away as they made their haphazard journey from the main room to Sara's bedroom, leaving a trail of discarded clothing along the way.   
  
At last they were beside the bed. Grissom's mouth kissed a damp trail down Sara's neck to her throat, and she tipped her head back to accommodate him. She had one arm bent over his shoulder and down his back, while her other hand ran her fingers through his soft hair, holding his head close. She was groaning with pleasure and Grissom could feel the vibration under his lips. He moved one hand around Sara to hold her to him, the other hand he used first to hold and caress Sara's breast, then to tease the nipple into a bud. He lowered his head to take the peak into his mouth and run his tongue back and forth across it. He sucked the delicious morsel further in and was rewarded with a jerk of her hips to his. Grissom swapped his attention to the other breast and repeated his ministration.   
  
Sara was grinding her hips against his, trying to relive some of the pressure she felt building. She could feel Grissom's erection pressing against her mons and she wanted him inside her.  
  
She lifted one leg, wrapping it around behind him so that she could pull him closer and manoeuvre him in to her, but he resisted her efforts.  
  
"Not yet." He muttered around a nipple.  
  
"Why?" Sara fake whined a little. She knew perfectly well why not.  
  
Grissom straightened up and looked at Sara's face. She smirked and he shook his head.  
  
He turned her around to sit on the end of the bed and urged her to lie back, her feet on the floor. She propped herself up on her elbows and watched him kneel between her legs, a hand on each thigh. Her breath shivered in her breast in anticipation. He was so good at this.  
  
Grissom bent forward and inhaled Sara's unique scent. He loved the way it made his arousal throb. He used the fingers of his left hand to part her other lips and leaned down to tease the little bundle of pleasure with his tongue. He felt it jerk at the same time he heard Sara cry out. He used the middle finger of his right hand to glide smoothly in to Sara's heat, stroking her firmly. He alternated his tongue and finger so that there was always pressure. The seconds turned into minutes as he drove her closer and closer to fulfilment.  
  
Sara was practically delirious with delight. Although she liked to watch Grissom touching her she fell backwards on to the bed and her head thrashed from side to side as her drove her wild. Her arms were out-stretched, great handfuls of quilt caught up in her fists. Her hips begun to rock gently and Grissom moved with them, watching Sara.   
  
"Ooh...that is SO good..." Sara moaned.  
  
She let go of the bedding and caressed her own breasts, pinching at the nipples, pretending that it was Grissom's mouth on her there, too.  
  
Grissom nearly lost his rhythm. Sara hadn't done that before and he was astonished at how arousing it had been. As if he needed any more.  
  
Sara could feel herself already teetering on the edge of climax. She was almost there, the heat was rippling through her in waves, building and building and...and...  
  
Grissom tore his mouth from Sara and quickly removed his finger. In less than a second he had lined himself up and plunged into Sara's arching body.  
  
It tipped Sara over the edge and she was flying with each jerk of Grissom's hips.  
  
She cried out, her muscles squeezing Grissom like a glove. He grunted in ecstasy as his own orgasm ripped through him, sending his seed deep in to her pulsing body in a series of jerks that emptied him completely. He collapsed over Sara, burying his face in her neck.  
  
They lay spent for several minutes. Their breathing gradually calmed. Grissom straightened his arms and looked down at Sara. She smiled gently up at him, running her hands up his arms. She wanted to ask him to stay, but didn't know how he would react.   
  
They were still half on and half off the bed, so Grissom pulled gently back and stood up. He reached down and pulled one of Sara's hands until she too stood up. He traced his still trembling fingers down her cheek to touch her swollen lips. He didn't say anything but the tenderness of the gesture made Sara's eyes sting. He could not say it out aloud, but Sara was in no doubt how he really felt, even if he didn't realise it himself. She was grateful when he turned away to the bed so that she could blink away the moisture in her eyes.  
  
He pulled down the bedding and turned to her, smiling tiredly.  
  
"Which side do you want?"  
  
Beaming, Sara pointed to the left side of the bed, and Grissom got in the other side.  
  
Sara took a mental picture of a sight she never expected to see, and probably wouldn't again after tomorrow. Gil Grissom in her bed. She shivered, but not with cold. Excitement.  
  
"I'll lock up."  
  
Sara scampered around the apartment, turning off the lights and locking the door. She had been granted one more night in his arms. She ignored the scattered clothing; they would pick it up tomorrow.   
  
Before their holiday ended.  
  
TBC   
  
Yes, I know they are not back at work yet. Regard this as a treat for Christmas.  
  
Both the songs lyrics used here are copyrighted by their owners. I have borrowed them because I love both the songs and intend absolutely no infringement whatsoever. 


	3. The holiday assignment 3

Disclaimer: C.S.I. not owned by me, I should be so lucky.  
  
Title: The holiday assignment (3)  
  
Author: hazeleyes57  
  
Spoilers: Only up to season 3, if any.  
  
Author's notes: I warn you now, this is not finished. If blame has to be assigned you can send it to Laura Katherine, Marlou and Amanda Hawthorne whose delightful email request for me to hurry up did not fall on deaf ears (should that be blind eyes?) I totally appreciate all the reviews and support. You people are wonderful:)   
  
Summary: It's Monday and Grissom and Sara are due back at work.  
  
Rating: R   
  
The holiday Assignment (part 3)  
  
The light that diffused through the drapes was not that of the early morning. It shone unforgivingly on the untidy bed and its slumbering occupants.   
  
They did not notice or care.  
  
Between the bedroom door and the bed, items of clothing had been discarded with an eye to speed rather than tidiness. It did not take a genius to figure out what had happened here.  
  
The man in the bed lay on his back with his left arm around his dark haired female companion. She lay against his left side, her left arm across his stomach. Both of them looked relaxed and peaceful. The sun's rays crept further round the room.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Gil Grissom surfaced reluctantly. He lay quiescent for several minutes, savouring the last time he would wake up beside Sara. Moving slowly so as not to disturb her, he picked up his watch and checked the time. It was after eleven in the morning. Considering how they had spent the night he was surprised that it was this early.   
  
At the forefront of his mind was the knowledge that this break from reality that he had allowed himself - again - was almost over.   
  
He thought of that line from 'A tale of two cities'. It was the best of times and the worst of times. The best of times; anything with Sara. The worst of times - saying goodbye again to Sara 'Smith'. This time he had to make a better job of it.  
  
So it didn't really help matters that he was waking up in Sara's bed.  
  
They were both due back at work tonight on the night shift. Mr Jones would leave - this time for good - and Supervisor Gil Grissom would be back.  
  
Grissom looked at the woman lying beside him and felt profound gratitude that he had had this time with the bright and beautiful Sara. She deserved so much more than he could give her. He hadn't even been brave enough to tell her how he felt about her. He hoped that she'd just 'know' in that undefinable way that some intuitive people have.   
  
Eventually, Grissom decided that he had better get out of the bed before Sara woke up. If he stayed where he was they would make love and that was no longer an option.   
  
Lifting Sara's arm gently, Grissom slid out of the bed and pulled his pillow out sideways to rest her arm across it. Sara mumbled in her sleep but did not wake up.   
  
Grissom found his boxers in the doorway and Sara's bra on the doorknob. He couldn't find her panties - probably under the bed somewhere - so he put Sara's stuff in the laundry hamper and rinsed his boxers in the bathroom sink. He draped them over the towel rail to dry after squeezing them out as best as he could. He had a quick wash and shaved, intending to have a shower after Sara woke up. He had no clothes other than what he had arrived in last night. He was reasonably certain that he had no actual intent to take Sara to bed when he left his place yesterday with her sandals, but he had been deceiving himself a lot just lately. He was not surprised that he was unable - or unwilling - to resist by the time he got to her place.   
  
With a towel around his hips, Grissom went to the fridge to see about breakfast. A quick assessment put pancakes and fruit on the menu. He put some coffee on to percolate and searched quietly for a mixing bowl.  
  
He resisted the urge to whistle.   
  
Half an hour later Grissom had everything ready and the pancakes were keeping warm, all they needed was Sara.  
  
"What is that delicious smell?"  
  
Sara came out of the bedroom - with a delightful case of bed head - tying the belt on a silk kimono wrap.   
  
"That would be breakfast, Milady."  
  
Grissom handed her a mug of coffee, knowing that it would take her a minute or five to really come to.   
  
"Mmmm." Sara approved, breathing in the coffee aroma. She moved to the breakfast bar and sat down opposite Grissom's place.  
  
He brought out the pancakes and gave a stack to Sara, the fruit already on her plate.  
  
Her eyes widened in delight - home-made pancakes.  
  
"I c...an't believe you did this, it's fantastic."  
  
Sara made a quick recovery from almost saying 'I could get used to this'.   
  
He smiled gently.  
  
"It was my pleasure."   
  
Grissom was telling the truth; he had been surprised at how much he had enjoyed preparing the food, knowing that it was for Sara.  
  
They ate in companionable silence and the pancakes quickly disappeared.   
  
"Mmm, that was delicious, thank you."  
  
Sara smiled as she sipped her coffee. Grissom cleared the plates in to the sink and picked up his own drink. Sara took another mental picture.  
  
Domesticated God in the kitchen wearing only a towel and drinking coffee. She swallowed a smile that she didn't want to have to explain.  
  
They took their coffee with them to the couch and sat down together at one end. Grissom put his free arm around Sara and she leaned against him comfortably.   
  
They drank their coffee in silence for a while, each content in the company of the other. After ten minutes or so, Sara stirred.  
  
"Do you have any plans for today?"   
  
She did not look Grissom in the eyes when she asked, unwilling to see any signs of his withdrawal.   
  
Grissom stroked Sara's arm gently as he thought of at least three things he should be doing before tonight.  
  
"Not particularly, no. Do you?"  
  
He looked down at the top of her head. He could take an educated guess at why she was avoiding looking at him.  
  
"No. The only thing I would like to do is to collect my holiday 'photo's, which will be ready in about..." Sara looked at the kitchen clock, "...an hour."  
  
Sara ignored the little voice reminding her about the laundry yet to be done. She had enough clean clothes for the rest of the week and hey, housework verses Grissom, what a no brainer.  
  
"I didn't take a camera." Grissom admitted, sorry now that he had no pictures of Sara.  
  
"I know, I didn't, either. Those disposable cameras have pretty decent lenses for their price. I picked up one in the hotel for a couple of bucks."  
  
"I don't tend to take pictures. I enjoy a place or not and remember anything relevant in my head."  
  
Given their line of work and the photos that they usually took Sara thought that was understandable.  
  
"But what if you forget? Don't you need a reminder?"  
  
"I've never worried about it before."  
  
Sara thought it quite telling that Grissom had added the word 'before'. She wondered whether he had been aware of it.  
  
She did not mention that she had asked the PhotoShop to print two sets from her film. She intended to give the second set to Grissom if they turned out okay.  
  
Just because she was playing by the rules didn't mean that she couldn't leave him with a constant reminder that they had been together.   
  
Grissom sipped his cooling coffee and thought about the rest of the day. They probably should not go out together in case they were seen. Not that he cared for himself, but he didn't want the grief for Sara. It wouldn't take too long to get the photos. He could offer to get them for her; unfortunately there was always the possibility that a snap of Sara might get mislaid. He hid a smile behind his mug.  
  
Sara felt completely relaxed. She didn't feel the need to fill the silence with chatter and apparently, neither did Grissom.  
  
"Sara?"  
  
Oops, spoke too soon.  
  
"Uhuh?"   
  
As Sara responded she slid down slightly, so that she could give in to the impulse to rub her fingers over the towel-clad thigh in front of her.   
  
Grissom tried not to be distracted by his impromptu massage.  
  
"I'm curious about something."  
  
"No change there then." Sara said cheekily.  
  
Grissom just looked at her, then continued when she was suitably cowed. Not.  
  
"Why don't you use my name?"  
  
Sara's fingers stilled momentarily then resumed their meandering.  
  
"I use your name all the time."  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
Sara's fingers moved closer and closer to the edge of Grissom's towel as if by accident, until eventually they touched his bare flesh and she felt the muscle flex as Grissom's leg jerked.  
  
"The reason I haven't used 'Gil' is because I didn't want to get used to it for only ten days. It would be difficult to go back to 'Grissom' and I was worried that I'd call you 'Gil' at work. Only Catherine calls you that."  
  
Grissom should not have been surprised that Sara had obviously given the matter some thought. What she said made perfect sense, but he felt a little disappointed.  
  
In his dreams she called him Gil.  
  
He was finding it difficult to stay on the subject with Sara's hand on his thigh. He would have to stop her. In a minute. Any minute now, in fact. What were they talking about? Oh, yes.  
  
"I've known Catherine a long time. We're friends."  
  
He put his coffee down before he spilt what was left.  
  
"Nothing wrong with that."   
  
Sara didn't want to talk about Catherine. Although her relationship with the older woman had changed and improved, it still rankled about her social visits to Grissom's place.   
  
Still, she was here with Gil and Catherine wasn't. She did have her to thank for that. A bird in the hand and all that. And this bird was getting bigger by the minute.   
  
Sara slid her hand under the towel and along Grissom's inner thigh until her hand reached its destination.  
  
"Sara!"  
  
Grissom gave up any pretence of not noticing what Sara was up to. She had his balls in her hand for Crissake!  
  
"Yes...Gil?"  
  
Grissom was torn: what a time to start using his name!  
  
"We can't..."  
  
Grissom did not have the right words to put across the concept of 'we should not be doing this any more but you have me at a disadvantage'.  
  
"Why not? I don't see any lab. equipment around us..."  
  
Sara very gently fondled him, knowing just how sensitive he was here.  
  
"...and you might be saying 'no' but your body's not listening."  
  
The towel was tenting in front of her amused face.  
  
He didn't know how she managed to look so innocent.  
  
Without conscious thought Grissom slid down a little and spread his legs slightly, giving Sara better access.   
  
Sara used her left hand to unhitch the towel at his waist and unwrapped her present.  
  
She slid her right hand from his testicles to his penis and closed it around his turgid flesh.  
  
Strangely, Grissom seemed to have stopped saying 'no'.  
  
Sara never tired of touching him. He was such a contrast here, the steel beneath the silk. She moved with firm but not vigorous strokes, knowing the pace he liked.   
  
She looked sideways up at him, just to reassure herself that he didn't really mean 'no'.  
  
No, that was definitely not his 'stop that, I'm cross with you' face.  
  
More like his 'if you stop that, I'll be cross with you' face.  
  
Sara slowed her hand after a few minutes and held him steady. She tucked her hair behind her left ear so that it didn't obstruct his view. She could feel his gaze on her now and she felt the shift in his muscles as he tensed in anticipation.  
  
Sara bent her head and twirled her tongue across the top of his arousal, just as she had done to that strawberry at the beginning of the holiday.  
  
Grissom's 'Aaah!' did not seem to indicate that he was in any pain so Sara felt free to continue.  
  
She returned to the base of his shaft and slowly ran her tongue up the length of him, then flicked across the top. He twitched, but again it wasn't in pain.   
  
Sara closed her lips around the top of him and felt Grissom fighting the urge to thrust upwards. She became aware that his hand was in her hair.  
  
She took in as much of him as she could, then started to suck as she withdrew up the shaft. She smiled inwardly when she heard him mutter 'Je - sus' with a moan.  
  
Sara repeated her actions again and again, each time with a slight variation, but always creating the same effect, building the pressure.   
  
After only five minutes Grissom was practically incoherent. This was not the first time Sara had done this for him and she had fine-tuned it down to an art. She knew exactly how to drive him completely wild. He watched himself disappear between her lips and, as before, found it incredibly erotic, a sensual feast. Sara had teased him mercilessly this last week, trying to get him as close to orgasm as possible before he could stop her. He preferred to be elsewhere in her body when he climaxed, but she had threatened to tie him to the bed so that he would not be able to stop her, and he had been surprisingly intrigued by the idea.  
  
Grissom tried to distract himself from the intense pleasure that was threatening to end things very shortly by undoing Sara's kimono and sliding his hand inside the silk wrap to caress her breasts. It nearly backfired when her moan vibrated all the way along his erection.   
  
With his right hand he could just reach the juncture of Sara's thighs and he stroked her to readiness. She was already very aroused judging by the evidence on his fingers. As a distraction it was hopeless and just added fuel to the fire.  
  
Sara could feel Grissom gather and tighten and knew that she'd pushed him as far as she dared. She stopped what she was doing with a final kiss to the tip.  
  
She traced open mouthed kisses and little nibbles up his abdomen and across his chest, moving slowly to give him time to calm a little, but also to allow his talented fingers to follow her movements without letting her go. By the time she reached his throat she was sitting astride his thighs with his arousal nestled directly beneath her and her knees beside his hips.  
  
Sara leaned back up so that she could look at Grissom's face.   
  
"You okay Gil?"   
  
He found her soft use of his name very sensual.  
  
"Oh yes."   
  
"Good."  
  
She traced a path up both his arms with her hands and clasped them together behind his neck. She leaned forward so that her breasts chaffed deliciously against his chest, then lowered her lips to his for a deep demanding kiss that he returned with ardour.   
  
Grissom's arms came up behind her, holding her securely to him as his tongue duelled with hers.  
  
Sara yielded first, gasping for air, then she leaned back, freeing one hand to grasp his erection and hold it steady while she lowered herself on to it. She did it so quickly and smoothly that Grissom was sheathed before he realised what was happening. He looked at her almost with surprise.   
  
He recovered quickly and pushed the kimono off her shoulders, down her arms and on to the floor.  
  
At last she was gloriously naked and all his.  
  
"You are so beautiful."  
  
Grissom's tone betrayed his reverence and Sara felt cherished.  
  
In her thoughts she told him that she loved him and quickly kissed him so that he wouldn't see the betraying tears in her eyes.  
  
  
  
She hitched her hips forward and Grissom gasped against her mouth.  
  
His hands held the cheeks of her bottom, setting the pace as Sara rocked in his lap. He found he couldn't move as much as he was used to so Sara became the more active partner, raising herself up with her thighs and plunging back down upon him.  
  
Sara hung on to the back of the couch behind Grissom instead of his shoulders and it made her feel more solidly braced. She could feel the difference in the way they moved with Gil being more confined than he was used to, and oddly, it felt like she was the one sinking in to his depths. Seconds became minutes as they moved as one.  
  
"Oh honey, you feel so good."   
  
Grissom felt that Sara had taken the words right out of his mouth.   
  
Sara was amazed that she could already feel a climax beginning to build. It was much sooner than anticipated and she was sure that it was this new position causing it.   
  
Grissom felt her quicken the pace and his body responded to the new level of stimulation with leaping readiness. He was hurtling toward fulfilment and hoped that he wouldn't get there first.   
  
"Close!"   
  
Sara's whispered warning came none too soon for Grissom.  
  
Her eyes were closed and her head leaned back in ecstasy.   
  
She was moaning with delight as their hips slammed together. The towering sensations overtook her leaving her reeling in its wake.  
  
  
  
"Ooh...Gil...yesss!...oh..coming...yes...!"  
  
Sara's fierce whisper was music to his ears and Grissom surrendered gratefully to his own climax at the same time, straining together, thrusting hard as her muscles squeezed around him for endless moments.  
  
Finally Sara slumped against him and they both tried to catch their breath. Grissom felt her turn and plant a kiss on his neck. He hugged her to him and kissed her shoulder.   
  
He heard her mutter something under her breath and felt more than heard a giggle.  
  
"What?"  
  
She sat back a little and brought her face around to his. She was smiling.  
  
"I said 'I'm gonna need a bigger top ten'."  
  
Damn but this woman made him feel special.   
  
^^^^^^  
  
They went together to collect the photos after they had showered and dressed. Grissom's boxers were still too wet so he reluctantly went commando. Sara clapped both hands over her mouth at the expression on his face.   
  
They were only out for thirty minutes and Grissom drove them in his car. When Sara got back in to the car she tucked the film packet in her purse without opening them. She was amused that Grissom's curiosity was obviously eating at him. She could see in her peripheral vision that he kept glancing at her and the purse as he drove.  
  
When they reached her place Grissom briefly contemplated dropping Sara off and going but he decided that it would be too abrupt and a little cowardly of him. Another hour wouldn't hurt and he would get to see the photos.  
  
And say goodbye.  
  
Grissom automatically put the coffee on and Sara's heart began to ache as she watched his movements around her kitchen and realised that this was the beginning of the end.  
  
She had no right to complain; she knew that she had already had more than they had tacitly agreed at the beginning of their affair. Understanding intellectually how she felt about him was one thing, but the emotional impact had been far greater than she had ever suspected it would become. It had suddenly dawned on her as she stood in the middle of her living room holding the packet of photos.  
  
Not only did she love Gil, but now she was in love with him too.  
  
Grissom turned to ask Sara if she was hungry but something about her stopped him in his tracks. She looked pale.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
For a split second she looked as if he had spoken to her in Martian, then she snapped to and gave him a high wattage smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.  
  
"Fine. Fine, thanks."   
  
She seated herself on the couch and opened the packet from the PhotoShop. She went through them quickly the first time, splitting the duplicates into another pile and putting them in the second packet.  
  
  
  
One photo took her by surprise when she found it. They had been out at Silver Springs at the time, just walking around and Sara had asked an elderly couple to take a picture of her and Gil together. That photo had been a standard sort of picture, arm in arm, both facing the camera and smiling. The wife had taken the camera and had fussed for an age. Sara had turned to Gil and rolled her eyes after the photo had finally been taken and they had shared an amused chuckle together. Sara's guard had slipped and she had allowed her love to shine through as she looked at him. It was then that the woman had obviously taken a second photograph, because here it was in all its glory. Sara gazing up in adoration while Gil looked down at her lips as if contemplating kissing her.   
  
She had quickly hidden that one back in her packet and was about to get its duplicate out of Gil's set when he came over with the coffee.  
  
He sat down beside her, putting on his glasses to look at the photos with her as she went through them a second time at a much slower pace.  
  
He was surprised how many of the photos were of him. He had known that Sara had taken one or two of him, usually as an inclusion to a 'tourist' shot, but he had not been aware of camera's presence in some of these photos. He was pleased to see that some of the ones he had taken of Sara had turned out well, although one of them he had taken had her blurred as she had moved suddenly to swat at an insect. He pointed it out to Sara.  
  
"I'm not used to my subjects moving."  
  
"Very funny."  
  
But she did smile.  
  
Grissom picked up the second set, raising his eyebrows in enquiry.  
  
"I had another set printed if you would like them."  
  
He took them, grateful that she had thought of it.  
  
"Thank you. Let me pay for them?"  
  
"Naw." She waved his suggestion aside "It's cheaper to do them at the same time, so it didn't cost much."  
  
"If you're sure?"  
  
"No problem."  
  
Hopefully he wouldn't look at his set until he got home.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
They did not eat anything for lunch. Neither of them had any appetite.   
  
In the end it was Sara that bit the bullet.  
  
She had finished drying the things that Gil had washed up. He had dried his hands and moved around her kitchen bar to sit and watch her as she put the items away and hung up the dishtowel.   
  
She turned to Gil and could stand the suspense no longer.  
  
"I guess it's that time, Mr Jones."  
  
She was proud that her voice did not quaver.   
  
Grissom had known that this moment would arrive but he was unprepared for the rush of dismay that went through him at her words. He actually felt sick.  
  
"I guess it is."  
  
Time's up. It's over. Say goodbye to her and walk away. It will hurt less in the long run.  
  
Sara looked at his face, threw caution to the wind and gambled one last time.  
  
"It doesn't have to be."  
  
There was perhaps four feet separating them but she could feel the emotional distance increasing with every second that passed. Gil looked awful and she desperately wanted to make things better for him. However, this was one thing he had to do for himself.   
  
Grissom was torn. Part of him, the selfish part, wanted to be with Sara so much. The selfless part of him wanted her to have a life where she was happy without him.   
  
He was totally unable to believe that he could make her happy. Oh, she'd probably be okay for a few years, then one day when he could only breathe because she existed, she would wake up and see him for the older man he was and leave, taking away his reason for living.   
  
He hurt now, but that would kill him.  
  
Sara saw in his face the moment he made his decision.   
  
"Yes, it does."   
  
Grissom looked at her then, not Mr. Jones.   
  
"We agreed, Sara, don't make this more difficult than it has to be."  
  
Sara kept silent for fear of not being able to stop once she got started. She pressed the shaking fingers of her left hand to her lips to physically prevent her words escaping. She dug deep in to herself for the strength not to shed any tears in front of him.  
  
They both looked at each other, not saying any more with words, but communicating all the same.  
  
After an eternity, Grissom broke the link, and walked towards the front door. He opened the door and stopped, looking back at Sara.  
  
"Goodbye, Sara Smith. It has been my great pleasure to know you."  
  
He paused, perhaps hoping for a reply but to Sara time seemed to stretch while she remained frozen, unable to move her feet or use her voice. As if in slow motion she saw Gil turn and walk away, the door closing behind him, cutting him off from her sight.   
  
The sound of the door closing seemed to free her and Sara flew to the door.  
  
And stopped.  
  
She would not run after him again.   
  
She turned her back to the door and leaned on it, her legs unable to support the weight of her grief. She slid down the door until she reached the floor and rested her head on her bent knees. She wrapped her arms around her legs and wept for the death of her dreams.  
  
Grissom found himself at the fairground with no memory of how he got there.  
  
He climbed in to the roller coaster car and lowered the locking bar into place.  
  
The ride started up, taking him up to the first big run.   
  
When the car hurtled down the other side Grissom found his face was wet.  
  
Probably just the wind.  
  
TBC.  
  
I know, I know, they're not actually back at work yet, but I'm having waaay too much fun (sniffle). There will be at least one more chapter.   
  
P.S.   
  
To the C.S.I fans I met at the Wolf Events Stargate Convention (London) in November - Absolutely right, there should be a C.S.I. convention! 


	4. The Holiday Assignment 4

Disclaimer: C.S.I. still not mine, unlike a yummy set of the trading cards!!  
  
Title: The Holiday assignment (4)  
  
Author: hazeleyes57  
  
Spoilers: Few minor ones that everyone probably knows already.  
  
Author's notes: Massive thank you's to everyone who left a review for the latest chapter, I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate them.   
  
As to the story, anyone remember Mr Cool Calm and Collected smashing a coffee pot, or hoisting Eddie off Catherine or that blushing with Lady Heather? I do!  
  
Summary: Grissom and Sara have returned to work. No really, they have.  
  
Rating: R   
  
THE HOLIDAY ASSIGNMENT (4)  
  
Sara Sidle walked across the car park outside the C.S.I. building and entered through the main doors. It was dark outside and as usual the stars lost out to the neon glow that was Las Vegas.  
  
The familiar sights, sounds and smells brought her back to the present with a bump. She was back from her holiday in Florida and due to start work in half an hour. She hefted the large box of Florida chocolates under her arm and took the stairs.  
  
Her first port of call was the ladies room.  
  
She went straight to the hand basins where there was a large mirror covering the entire wall from left to right, basin edge to five feet up the wall. The harsh overhead strip lights cast an unforgiving glare over everything. She critically checked her make up, casting her head left then right to see if it was obvious that she had been crying. It would probably fool most people, but then they didn't work with a bunch of investigators who were trained to notice such things. She sighed and left for the locker room.  
  
After stowing her jacket and purse, Sara closed her locker slowly and thought about the last time she had stood here. It seemed much longer than two weeks. She felt like a different person.   
  
The walk to the break room seemed endless. She had never felt quite so exposed before with all the glass walls. Now she felt as if people were watching her and whispering about her. Her and Grissom. Which was ridiculous because they couldn't possibly know. Apart from Catherine, obviously. And probably Warrick. And neither of them knew everything. Sara wondered fleetingly if there was anything brewing between them. They seemed a little vibey, which was nice. She knew that Warrick got on well with Catherine's daughter, Lindsey.  
  
Her musings had brought her to the door of the break room. She entered and walked over to the main table, putting the chocolates down before going over to the coffee percolator.  
  
Burnt offerings left by the day shift as usual. She cleaned out the pot and put fresh coffee on to brew.   
  
No one else was in yet, but she was half an hour early. While Sara waited for the coffee she had a quick trip to see if Greg was in yet, but there was no sign of him in the DNA lab. so she headed back to the break room.   
  
Twenty minutes later Nick turned up just as Sara was rinsing her mug.   
  
"Mmm, smells like fresh coffee - hey Sara, you're back!"  
  
Clearly delighted to see her, he swept her up in to a bear hug before she had chance to stop him.  
  
"Okay thanks, you can put me down now."  
  
"Oh, sure! How was your holiday?"   
  
Nick set her back down and looked her over, but before he could say anything, Catherine and Warrick arrived and there were more greetings exchanged.  
  
"So girl, you have a nice time?"  
  
Warrick's enquiry came with a sincere smile so Sara gave him the benefit of the doubt regarding his involvement with Catherine's scheme.  
  
Sara smiled back, but it was no delighted grin.  
  
"It was okay."  
  
"How was the hotel?"  
  
Catherine wanted to get Sara alone and find out what had happened. The signs didn't look too good from where she stood.  
  
Sara looked at Catherine and the latter had no trouble interpreting the 'I know what you did' signal.  
  
"Crowded." Sara said succinctly.  
  
Catherine raised both brows in an 'Oh, really?' expression. She had the grace to look a little sheepish.  
  
"The hotel was very nice, in fact I thought I'd come and have a chat with you about it when you have a minute free later."  
  
Catherine was acutely aware that Sara would not be discussing the accommodations.  
  
  
  
"Sure."   
  
Nick and Warrick both pretended not to have noticed any sub text in the conversation. Nick because he thought that it was 'girl stuff' and therefore none of his business and Warrick because he knew what Catherine had done and that Sara would be royally pissed.  
  
Anxious for a change of subject Catherine suddenly realised that Grissom would normally have been in by now. She checked her watch.  
  
"Anyone seen the boss?"  
  
They all shook their heads.  
  
"I'll check his office. Back in five."  
  
Catherine left the room and headed for Grissom's office, but ran in to him before she got there. He was walking briskly, head down reading the job sheets.  
  
To Catherine's experienced 'friend's' eye, he looked different. He had lost a little weight, but it suited him. What worried her was the subdued air and the distant manner about him that said 'this close and no closer'.  
  
She realised that whatever she had been hoping to achieve with this holiday had not borne fruit. There was no sense of joy about him. More an air of melancholy.  
  
What the hell had happened?  
  
"Gill?"  
  
Grissom's head came up.  
  
"Catherine."  
  
A dry acknowledgement, nothing more.   
  
"How was your holiday? Did you have a good time?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
Grissom's tone discouraged Catherine from any further enquiry.  
  
They walked to the break room, Catherine entering first. She tried to watch Sara without the other woman's notice.  
  
Warrick and Nick greeted Grissom's return with respectful nods and hellos. Grissom wasn't the kind of boss that you slapped on the back and busted a beer with.  
  
Sara's body had long ago turned in to a finely tuned antenna where Grissom was concerned, and it was working even more efficiently than usual now.  
  
Grissom's quiet greeting of the two male C.S.I's had her heart banging around in her chest.  
  
The sound of his voice brought back memories of soft conversation and subtle kisses.   
  
She remained seated, hoping no one would notice if she looked pale. She refused to meet Catherine's eyes just in case she looked as obvious as she felt.   
  
It had only been a few hours since she had last seen Grissom, since she had made love to him. She still carried his seed inside her. Her whole body was quivering with recognition of its erstwhile lover.  
  
Sara's fists clenched inside her pockets in her efforts to remain still. She managed to scrape up some semblance of a smile, and having summoned every ounce of her courage, she looked up at Grissom.  
  
Grissom had entered the room behind Catherine and did not immediately see Sara behind Nick and Warrick, but his sixth sense had already told him that she was there. Call it subliminal pheromones, intuition, whatever you like, his body had recognised her at a visceral level.   
  
He firmly squashed any inappropriate sign of the pleasure he felt that she was here. He greeted Nick and Warrick as usual, then looked at Sara.  
  
She had been looking down but raised her gaze just as Grissom sought hers.  
  
Although it could only have been for a few seconds, their eyes locked and neither could look away.  
  
It was Grissom who finally managed to blink.  
  
"Sara."   
  
He thought that she looked pale. He could see that she had been crying and she had tried to cover it up with make up. The early morning's events flashed through his mind.  
  
"Hey, Grissom."  
  
To Sara's quiet relief her acknowledgement sounded quite normal.  
  
To Grissom it had sounded flirty and arousing. He could not say why.  
  
To his profound horror, Grissom felt his face begin to flush. He could do nothing about it except pretend that he had not noticed. The chocolates had side-tracked Nick and Warrick but that still left Catherine.   
  
And Sara.  
  
Just as Grissom had spared her about her tears, she spared him about the blush.  
  
Catherine's gaze flicked rapidly back and forth between the two of them. Both of them were looking anywhere rather than at each other.  
  
'What have we here?' she thought, "It may not be sorted, but it's different.'  
  
Catherine took a chair across from Sara where she could observe both her and Grissom as well; she tried to look as if the only thing on her mind was getting her assigned tasks for the night.  
  
Grissom cleared his throat to get everyone's attention when he was reasonably certain that most of his flush had faded.  
  
Warrick took the seat next to Catherine while Nick leaned on the edge of the table with the chocolates. He folded his arms to prevent his hands sneaking back in to the box. He caught Sara's eye and winked. She smiled back. He was incorrigible and reminded her of a mischievous younger brother.  
  
"Nick, you have a DB at the Piedmont Retirement Home. Manager called it in, one of their guests has checked out permanently."  
  
Nick walked over, took the detail ticket and returned to the table.   
  
" Can I make the assumption that it appears not to be natural causes?"  
  
Grissom looked up at Nick over his glasses.  
  
"Never assume anything. However, as Brass called us, I think it's safe to say it won't be a wasted journey."  
  
"Residential Home, probably a lot to process."  
  
"Take Sara with you. Cases are thin on the ground at the moment, so we can spare another member of staff."  
  
Grissom glanced at Sara to see how she had taken the news. She was smiling at Nick and did not look put out.   
  
On the one hand Grissom was relieved that she appeared to be okay about not having her own dead body to process, but on the other hand, did she have to grin at Nick like that?   
  
It would probably have taken heavy-duty drugs to get Grissom to utter any admission with the word 'jealousy' in it.  
  
Catherine was vastly comforted by the fleeting expression on Grissom's face. Maybe things had not gone as badly as she thought.   
  
"Warrick, you have a break in at a jewellery store. It looks like the owner put up a fight and got us some evidence."  
  
Warrick regarded Grissom with his head tilted to one side.  
  
"And the owner is now...?"  
  
"At the local hospital in Emergency. He was knocked unconscious but his injuries are not life threatening. Again, there will be plenty to process, so Catherine can go with you. Okay, that's it."  
  
Warrick nodded and started to get up, as did Catherine.  
  
Grissom stood too and turned to leave. He turned back at the door.  
  
"Before you go, Catherine I'd like a word in my office."  
  
He left without waiting for an acknowledgement.   
  
Catherine and Warrick exchanged glances. They had a fair idea what this was about.  
  
So did Sara.  
  
Nick appeared to be happily oblivious - with a suspiciously full mouth.  
  
Catherine found Grissom sitting behind his desk when she entered his office five minutes later.  
  
He did not invite her to be seated.  
  
He looked up at her over his glasses. She could not entirely judge his mood.   
  
"Why?"  
  
Catherine wondered for a moment whether or not to pretend she did not know what he was talking about. She decided against it. They had known each other too long.  
  
"You appeared to need help."  
  
"Who else knows that you put us in the same hotel?"  
  
"Just me and Warrick. But it was my idea, he only knew after the event."  
  
Grissom removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He briefly closed his eyes.  
  
When he opened them he pinned Catherine with a gimlet stare.  
  
"The next time you pull a stunt like that, you will find yourself the most expensively paid car park attendant this building has ever known. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
"Crystal."  
  
Catherine held his stare and challenged him without words. He stared right back, and in the end it was Catherine who backed down. She did not risk asking him again how the trip had gone. The man seated here was her Supervisor, not her friend.  
  
Grissom picked up a paper on his desk and started to read. Catherine could take a hint.   
  
She left the office and went to find Warrick.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Catherine appreciated it that the first words out of his mouth were concern for her.  
  
"Yeah, I'll live."  
  
She grinned suddenly at her co-conspirator.   
  
"I think it worked, we just have to wait for it to cook a while."  
  
Warrick shook his head as they walked up the corridor. There was going to be trouble - he'd bet on it.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Nick and Sara left the building together and headed for their Tahoe. Nick automatically walked around to the driver's side and Sara didn't bother to challenge him. She did not think that her concentration was up to the job of driving at the moment.  
  
She had seen Grissom and not collapsed in a heap. So far, so good. He had appeared unaffected and calm, two qualities that she envied him at the moment.   
  
At least, he had seemed that way until that flush gave him away. Perhaps she had got through to him more than she realised. The thought cheered her more than it ought to.  
  
"That's better."  
  
Nick's observation made Sara look at him.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You looked like you had thought of something that cheered you up."  
  
"I wasn't sad."   
  
Sara tried for surprise but it came out defensive.  
  
Nick glanced at her then back to the road.  
  
"No? Okay."  
  
Nick wasn't about to get in to that if she didn't want to go there.   
  
"No, what did you mean?"  
  
Instinct told Sara to let it go, but her mouth had a head start.  
  
"Nuthin' honest. You just looked a little down, is all. For someone who just came back from two weeks off, anyhow."  
  
Nick shrugged and kept his eyes on the traffic.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
Sara looked out the passenger's door window at the passing buildings.  
  
"Good."   
  
Nick suddenly put the clues together in his head. Of course, he should have realised earlier.  
  
"Fine my ass. Who was he?"  
  
"What?!"  
  
Sara reminded herself not to panic. Yet.  
  
Nick counted the points off on his fingers without removing his hands from the steering wheel.  
  
"One, you've just had two weeks off in the sunshine state, but you have not much in way of a tan, two, sad face first day back at work, three, no holiday photos. It's obvious."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"You met a guy, spent all your time together - inside, took loads of photos with him in them, so you won't show them to us, and you miss him like crazy, but you've agreed not to see each other again. Am I right?"  
  
Sara just gaped at Nick. More right than he could imagine but so wrong too.  
  
"C'mon, you met a guy! Ooh, Sara met a guy. Tell, give us the skinny. What was he like? Huh?"  
  
"What makes you think there is a guy? Apart from what you just said."  
  
Sara felt silly for adding the last piece of the sentence, but needed to know what else Nick had picked up from her.  
  
He slowed for the traffic and took the opportunity to look at Sara.  
  
"You have that loved up look, you look relaxed..."  
  
Nick smiled, genuinely happy for her.  
  
"...but a little sad underneath too."  
  
Sara was surprised at his insight, but shouldn't have been. They were investigators, after all.  
  
"Maybe. So what? You never have a holiday romance?"  
  
Nick grinned at the tacit admission.  
  
"I knew it. Well, good for you Sar. Did he treat you right?"   
  
Oh, what the hell. Sara smiled reminiscently.  
  
"Yes. Yes, he did. He broke no promises. It was good."  
  
Privately Nick wondered how Grissom would have taken this news.  
  
"Glad to hear it, or he would have had me to deal with."  
  
Sara smiled again, a little sadly, and turned her head to the window again.   
  
Nick wisely let the matter drop.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Several hours later both teams were back in the crime lab. building. Their samples had been dropped off, logged and sorted, and were on their way to being processed.  
  
  
  
Grissom had managed to make a reasonable dent in his accumulated paperwork. He was grateful that much of it required enough concentration to forget about Sara.  
  
At least for a few seconds at a time.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Nick looked at his watch and decided to go and get something to eat. At four a.m. in the morning it hardly qualified as lunch, but it was the closest equivalent. He had to wait for test results anyway and nothing new had turned up this shift - so far.  
  
When he entered the break room and headed for the fridge he noticed that Warrick and Catherine had their heads together over some magazine. When he turned back from the fridge with his sandwiches in his hand he saw that Warrick had straightened up and moved slightly away from Catherine. Nick hid a smile and thought that it was about time those two sorted themselves out. He thought about Sara and her holiday.  
  
"Hey, guess what?"  
  
Nick knew that Sara probably wouldn't mind if he told these two about her holiday romance. They would be discrete.  
  
"What?" Warrick obliged.  
  
Nick came over and sat opposite the others with his back to the door so that he wouldn't have to raise his voice.  
  
"Sara met a beau on her holiday - she had a ro-mance!"   
  
He drawled it out, Texan style. He took a bite out of his sandwich while waiting for their reaction.  
  
Warrick's eyebrows raised and he glanced sideways at Catherine, who shrugged.  
  
"Really? How'd you find that out?"  
  
"Oh, I dragged it out of her earlier tonight on the way out to the scene."  
  
Warrick looked sceptical as Nick grinned.  
  
"Oh yeah! Sara had a big fat romance with a guy who - "  
  
He had reached down to the seat beside him to take another bite of his sandwich as he was speaking and when he looked up again the expression on both Warrick and Catherine's face had stopped him in his tracks.   
  
He had an awfully bad feeling about this.  
  
"You were saying?"  
  
Grissom's voice inquired quietly from behind him.  
  
Nick shot out of his seat and turned to face him, looking pale.  
  
"Uh, saying?"  
  
Grissom did not move or blink.  
  
"About Sara." He prompted.  
  
Nick looked like a bug pinned on one of Grissom's boards.  
  
"Sara? Nothing, nothing at all."  
  
The thought of what Grissom had already heard and now wanted him to elaborate upon filled him with dread.  
  
Thankfully Catherine stepped in to the breach.  
  
"Nicky was just telling us that Sara met a nice man on her holiday and had some fun. He was please that she had a good time."  
  
If Nick had not been staring at Grissom like a rabbit trapped in headlights he would have missed the brief flicker that crossed Grissom's eyes.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Grissom's voice held no emotion, no interest, but Nick wasn't fooled.  
  
Grissom had felt strong emotion of some kind. Anger? Jealousy? Fear? He didn't know, but he wished he'd kept his mouth shut.  
  
It wasn't until much later that Nick realised that the word 'satisfaction' had kept popping in to his head,  
  
Grissom had handed the file he was holding to Catherine and left the room.   
  
The silence was deafening.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom returned to his office and sat down at his desk to continue with his paperwork. He did not make much progress as his mind kept wandering. After a couple of hours he gave himself a break, leaning back in his chair.   
  
He knew for certain that Sara would never have divulged anything to Nick about their holiday, regardless of what he had overheard in the break room. The young man was bright, he had obviously drawn his own conclusions from the information he had and Sara had allowed him to believe what he wanted. As Sara had said to him, the best lies are based on the truth.   
  
Somehow Nick had come to think that she'd had 'a big fat romance'.   
  
Grissom's lips twitched as he visualised Nick's face when he realised that he had been behind him and heard what he had said.  
  
Priceless.  
  
It had been all he could do to keep the satisfaction off his face.  
  
"What are you smirking about?"  
  
Grissom looked up with a start. Catherine stood in the open doorway.  
  
"Don't you ever knock?"  
  
Catherine pointedly knocked on the already open door.  
  
"Well?" Grissom asked. He still hadn't forgiven Catherine, but she was a respected colleague as well as a friend.  
  
"We've had a break on the jewellery job. One of the prints came back from AFIS with a match. Brass is off to round up our suspect. We're going with."  
  
"Okay. Good work."  
  
Catherine was already half out of the door.  
  
"Later." She flung over her shoulder.  
  
Grissom didn't bother to reply as she had already gone.  
  
He shifted another file and found the toxicology report on the victim at the residential home, which should have gone to Nick. He flicked quickly but thoroughly through the report and drew his own conclusions. He stood up and left his office with the report, intending to find Nick.  
  
Having checked a couple of the labs. and come up empty Grissom headed for the break room.  
  
He found Sara instead.  
  
She glanced up from her magazine as he came in and gave him an inquiring look.  
  
"Have you seen Nicky?"  
  
"Not recently. He was in Trace about ten minutes ago. We're going to go and see the vic's wife in half an hour so I know he'll be back then."  
  
Grissom looked over Sara's face as she answered him and tried not to think of her as anything other than a work colleague. He failed miserably, but hoped that she hadn't noticed. He suddenly realised that she had stopped talking and was waiting for him to make a decision.   
  
"Right. Here's the toxicological report, you can show it to him."  
  
Grissom handed the report over, stepping closer to do so. He was assailed by the smell of her shampoo and his mind transported him straight back to waking up beside her this morning.  
  
Sara's eyes met his and with the briefest flash of naked yearning he knew that she was remembering too. He needed to step back now and regain his distance. If only his body would do as his brain was telling it.  
  
Sara wanted to look away, she really did, but the oh so familiar Grissom scent had grabbed her and was reeling her in.   
  
"Sara..."  
  
Whatever Grissom was going to say was lost when Nick entered the room and Sara wanted to scream. Nothing in the tone of Grissom's voice had indicated that he had been about to tell her off.  
  
"Grissom, Bobby said that you were looking for me?"  
  
"Yes." Grissom kept his back to the young man, turning only his head, shielding Sara from his view for a moment.  
  
"Tox. is back on your DB."  
  
He gestured to the report in Sara's hands and moved away to the fridge, taking out a bottle of water as if that had been his intention all along.  
  
"Great. Thanks for bringing it."  
  
Nick was sure that he had interrupted 'something' here and worried that someone had told Sara about his gaffe earlier. He looked at her expecting to see her angry, but she was just looking blankly at the file in her hands. Perhaps he was just being paranoid because he felt guilty.  
  
He looked back to Grissom who was on his way out of the room. He couldn't tell what the older man was thinking. Now he just felt confused. He turned back to Sara.   
  
"Anything interesting in that?"  
  
Sara looked at Nick and then at the report as if surprised that she was holding it.  
  
"Ah, don't know, haven't read it yet."  
  
Sara opened the report on her lap and made herself concentrate on what she was reading. Eventually.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom mentally kicked himself all the way back to his office. Thank God Nicky had interrupted them in the break room. Heaven knows what he would have said otherwise.  
  
He sat down at his desk and absently drank the water he hadn't wanted. He had to pull himself together. He'd resisted Sara for three years; he should have some measure of control over his desire for her.  
  
'Ah, but ' the little voice in his head argued, 'before you had no real idea what it would be like to be with her. Now you know what you're missing and it's all your own fault.'  
  
"Oh shut up." He muttered, looking at his watch. Half an hour until the end of shift.  
  
He pulled over another file from the pile and opened it up. He'd work a little overtime tonight - this morning, he amended.  
  
After all, there was nothing waiting for him at home.   
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara collected her belongings from her locker and shut the door. It had been a long night and she was tired. She left the locker room and walked along the corridor fishing in her purse for her car keys. Her feet barely hesitated when she saw that the light was still on in Grissom's office. She kept going, one foot in front of the other until she was standing beside her car. She reminded herself that she was a strong independent woman who could manage without a man. She would not make a fool of herself again and again like some lovesick puppy. Next time, Grissom could make the first move. Her brain pointed out on a distinctly sarcastic note that Grissom had made the first move last time, at her apartment.   
  
On the way home Sara stopped off and purchased the Dido album she had heard on the radio. She slipped the CD in to her player in the car and skipped through to track number eight.  
  
It still gave her goosebumps.  
  
Later that day she had a bath instead of a shower, but that was no help because she and Grissom had shared a bath too. In the end she gave up trying to stop thinking about him. She made herself a hot drink, collected her holiday photos and climbed into bed.   
  
The sheets smelled like Grissom. She propped up the pillow he had used behind her and slid the photos out of their pocket. She went through the pictures until she found her favourite, the second one from Silver Springs. She found a pen on her side table and dated the back of the photo, adding 'Sara and Gill' as well. As if there was any chance she'd forget.  
  
She propped that one against the bedside lamp, and looked slowly through the rest.  
  
She could examine them far more closely now that Gill wasn't sitting next to her looking at them with her. She was very pleased with the pictures even if it was in a bittersweet way. Gill looked relaxed and happy and Sara was sorry that he could not see it for himself. She slid down the bed a little, beginning to feel a little drowsy.  
  
Grissom's voice guided her forward, as did the hand on her shoulder. Not being able to see was disconcerting but she trusted him.  
  
"Just a little further. Okay, stop there. Don't move."  
  
His voice was playful and amused.   
  
"May I look now?"  
  
"Yes, you may."  
  
Sara took her own hands away from her face and looked at her surprise.  
  
The ensuite of Grissom's room had been transformed into a romantic trysting place. The main light was off but there were several lit candles dotted around the room away from the bath. The bath itself was half full of scented bubbly hot water and lying within easy reach was a little table with an ice bucket holding a bottle of champagne, two poured glasses and a plate of strawberries.  
  
The scene took Sara's breath away. She looked back at Grissom with a huge smile.  
  
"This is wonderful. What's the occasion?"   
  
He handed her one of the champagne glasses and picked up the other one.  
  
"I thought we'd celebrate your successful transfer to this room. It's a room warming party."  
  
Sara laughed with delight as they clinked their glasses together and took a drink.   
  
"Oh, dear and I haven't a thing to wear."  
  
"This is one party where I think you'll find that's the perfect outfit."  
  
Grissom put down his glass and slid his arms around Sara from behind. He kissed her at the junction between her neck and shoulder.   
  
She tipped her head sideways to give him better access and moaned at the sensations flooding through her from the hot spot on her neck.  
  
Grissom's hands were not idle. He undid the small buttons on Sara's blouse, then parted the edges, using the fingers of each hand to brush her nipples gently bringing them to attention. He was nearly side-tracked from his task when he realised that Sara had put one hand behind her and was using it to undo his pants.   
  
He brought one hand down to the waistband of Sara's shorts and easily flicked open the button. He slid his hand inside the shorts and cupped her gently.  
  
Sara matched his move by sliding her hand into his pants.  
  
"Lovely though this is, we need to slow down."  
  
"Oh, do we have to?" Sara complained with a grin, earning her a tap on the bottom from Grissom as he moved her hand.  
  
"Yes. I went to some trouble, so let's enjoy it."  
  
He laughed as she made a grab for him that he avoided. He very efficiently stripped off the rest of her clothes and then held her hand while she climbed in the bath and sat down. He quickly shed the remainder of his clothes and stepped in to the bath behind her. He sat down carefully, parting his legs so that Sara could scoot back against him.  
  
"Mmm."  
  
"You like?" Grissom asked.  
  
"What's not to like?"  
  
He reached for Sara's champagne glass and the strawberries. He gave her the former and fed her a strawberry after she had taken a drink. She sighed happily.  
  
"This is so decadent."  
  
"Yes, good, isn't it?"  
  
"The best."   
  
Sara rested her head back against the right side of Grissom's chest and turned her head left to look at him. She could feel his arousal in the small of her back.  
  
He leaned forward and they kissed.  
  
"I don't know how to thank you for all this."  
  
Grissom smirked.  
  
"I'm sure we'll think of something."  
  
He was as good as his word. They had a leisurely soak interspersed with bouts of kissing and soft caresses. When things began to heat up they decided to get out of the bath before all of the water ended up on the floor.  
  
Grissom got out first, then helped Sara out, taking a towel and drying her off so that she would not get too cold in the air-conditioned bedroom. He wrapped her in a dry towel and carried her to their bed. Having seen her safely delivered he turned back to the bathroom.   
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
Grissom looked back and half-grinned.  
  
"I'm going to put those candles out. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be interrupted by half a dozen fire-fighters any time soon."  
  
Sara sat up in the bed, looking speculative.  
  
"Ooh, I don't know..."  
  
She spoiled it by laughing.  
  
"Brat."  
  
He was back in seconds.  
  
He stood for a moment beside the bed just looking down at Sara, still unable to believe his luck and she smiled serenely back at him. She held out a hand and tugged him on to the bed.  
  
"I believe we have some unfinished business."  
  
Sara pulled him down into a kiss that curled his toes. Her lips opened under his and his tongue sought hers. Without conscious thought they were both aware that foreplay was over.   
  
Grissom lay on his side next to Sara, not taking his lips from hers. He pushed his right leg between hers and brought his thigh up to apply pressure. Her moan of delight vibrated into his mouth. She brought her right hand up between them and took hold of him, bringing him back up to full arousal in moments.  
  
Grissom used his right hand to tease a nipple to a peak, then using just enough pressure to be arousing but not painful he squeezed her breast. He broke off the kiss to watch her response to his actions, storing away her preferences.  
  
Moments later he slid the same hand down Sara's torso until it got to his thigh. He moved his leg slightly so that he could slip his fingers down through the damp curls to the bundle of pleasure hiding there.  
  
Sara's whole body jerked and her eyes flew open when he made contact. He skilfully applied his fingers to heighten her arousal.   
  
Grissom moved over Sara and she parted her legs so that he settled naturally between them.  
  
They maintained eye contact as he used his hand to guide himself to her. It seemed profoundly intimate to be looking into each other's eyes as he slowly entered her body.   
  
"Oh Griss..."  
  
"Yes, I know..."  
  
Sara knew that he did understand. He felt it too. It didn't need to be put in to words.  
  
He slowly started to move and she was with him, perfectly attuned.  
  
Grissom wanted this to last so he kept things slow but within minutes it was obvious to both of them that their journey would be short.  
  
Sara looked up at him and felt the coils of sensation begin to tighten through her body. Each gliding thrust pushed her closer to the peak. Her hands alternated between clutching his backside or his shoulders, wanting to hold all of him to her.  
  
"You feel so good!"   
  
Grissom grunted in acknowledgement, leaning in for a quick kiss, but he was focused on not climaxing before Sara.  
  
Her whole body tensed as the pressure built up. She was in that delicious place where she knew that she was about to climax but still had it to look forward to.  
  
Grissom had already reached the end of his tether and was barely hanging on.   
  
"Sara!"  
  
It was her name but also a plea. Her body responded instantly to his.  
  
"Yes! Oh God yes!"   
  
Sara's cry of completion released Grissom from his restraint and he came explosively even as she did.  
  
Sara's legs were tangled in her sheets and she fell ignominiously out of bed and on to the floor, banging her head on the carpet. Her holiday photos were scattered around her. She struggled with both pain and disorientation after her vivid dream.  
  
Or rather, a memory from the holiday. She had actually woken up in the throws of a climax.   
  
She freed her legs and got to her feet. She collected all the photos and put them away, then tidied her bed and got back in. At least she still had Gil in her dreams. She felt a little foolish but also pleasantly drowsy and soon went back to sleep.   
  
^^^^^^  
  
By nine a.m. Grissom had cleared all of his paperwork. He left it on his desk to have another look at it tonight just to make sure he'd not overlooked anything because of his distraction.   
  
He collected his briefcase and had a quick glance around the office before he switched off the light and left, closing the door behind him. The regular day staff were arriving and the place had a different rhythm to the night shift. He left the building and crossed to his Tahoe.  
  
When Grissom arrived home he dropped his keys on the dining table on the way over to his sound system. He selected some soothing Chopin and headed for the kitchen area. He made himself a light breakfast with juice instead of a caffeine drink knowing that that he would have to sleep later.   
  
He thought how different this breakfast was to that of yesterday.  
  
Sometimes he wondered how his life would have been if he had never even met Sara. Would he have just sailed calmly and completely detached into his old age and perhaps never realised just how much he was missing out of his life?   
  
Would he have woken up some day and thought, 'Oh, was that it? Where did the time go?'  
  
He recalled his bafflement when Teri had left him sitting at the restaurant table during a phone call about work. Sara would never have left or complained that his work came before her. Hell, Sara would have been loading the doggy bag and paying the bill to get him out of there even more quickly. She sometimes understood him better than he understood himself.   
  
He didn't know what scared him more; the fact that she understood him or the fact that she understood him and still liked him.  
  
Sara was like his roller coaster rides, thrilling and terrifying and addictive.   
  
He would not allow himself to be in a relationship with her, yet he did not want to be without her.   
  
Each time he promised himself that he would tell her to get on with her life without him, there would be Hank or his equivalent and he would want to rush in and claim Sara for himself. He wanted to have his cake and eat it.  
  
Trouble was, did the cake really want him in return?  
  
But the cake loved him, she had said so.  
  
It was at this point that Grissom realised he really ought to get some sleep.  
  
He washed up and left the few things to drain. He checked that his front door was locked and then went in to the bedroom. He closed the blinds and the drapes over them to shut out the sunshine.  
  
He stripped off, hung his pants up and threw everything else in the laundry bin. He slipped between the cool sheets, turning over on to his stomach. Once he was comfortable he shut his eyes and tried to sleep.  
  
It wasn't until he gave in and slipped his hand under his pillow to hold a small scrap of lace that he finally fell asleep.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Over the following week the night shift cases came and went with some taking longer than others, some inevitably unlikely ever to be solved. But they tried their best all the same.   
  
They caught the person who had robbed the jewellery shop, he had confessed as soon as he had been faced with all the evidence.  
  
The elderly man at the nursing home had been treated as a suspicious death because his body had been redressed post-mortem, but it turned out that the octogenarian had been having an affair with a sprightly seventy six year old female resident that his wife had known nothing about. The 'girlfriend' had dressed the body to spare his wife's feelings. He had actually died of a stroke in his sleep.  
  
At the end of her first week back at work, Sara was grateful that she had a couple of days off. She was exhausted with the effort of pretending that everything was fine.   
  
Sitting like an accusation beside her front door were Grissom's shoes and the pair of boxers he'd left behind. Sara had washed the underwear properly with her laundry then ironed them and folded them neatly, tucking them inside the shoe bag. All she had to do was give them back.  
  
It was proving more difficult than it should. Three times she had taken them to work and not had opportunity to leave them in his office, either she was out or Grissom was in and she did not want to hand them to him directly.   
  
She was also pissed that Grissom had not partnered himself with her on any case since they had returned to work. Apart from that brief slip up in the break room she had not given him any cause to find fault with her behaviour. She knew that she could be professional, so why wasn't he?   
  
A couple of times she had been partnered with Catherine but she never did talk to her about the holiday set up, preferring to let it drop. She couldn't talk about it yet in a remote enough way to pretend that nothing had happened.   
  
Catherine herself had been grateful not to get an earful of Sara's wrath at first, but as time went on she was concerned that the level of tension in the lab. was on the increase again.  
  
Sara sighed heavily and picked up the shoe bag. Grissom had been still at work when she left and appeared likely to be there for some time. She would drop these outside his apartment, it would be safe enough.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
When Grissom got home later that day his neighbour, an elderly lady who appreciated her quiet non-troublesome neighbour, stopped him. He was surprised when she handed him the shoe bag.  
  
"It's yours dear. Your young lady left it about a half-hour ago. Didn't want to wait, said she had to go and that you would understand. Nice girl."  
  
Grissom didn't disabuse her about Sara being his 'young lady' it would have been too long an explanation and there would be too many questions. He let himself in to his place and shut the door gratefully behind him.   
  
He unzipped the bag and found the boxers with the shoes. As with so many things lately, he was back with Sara in his thoughts. He took his loafers through to his bedroom and put them away. He sat down on the bed and picked up the framed photograph on the night table. Sara and himself at Silver Springs. He ran his thumb over Sara's face and wondered over 'might have beens'. No wonder Sara had tried to hide this photo.  
  
Although he would never admit it, part of Grissom was sorry that Sara had returned the shoes.   
  
There was no excuse to go to her apartment now.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Two months later, Sara had never felt less like celebrating Christmas. She did not decorate her apartment and didn't bother with a tree. All the commercial preparations struck her as cynical attempts to get money out of everyone without any regard for the true meaning of Christmas.   
  
She had volunteered to be part of the holiday cover, having no plans to do anything this year.  
  
Things had settled in to a rhythm at work and time and distance had given Sara a perspective on her holiday. Each day hurt a little less, and one day, maybe in a hundred years or so, she would be fine.  
  
She had just started to reheat some leftover Chinese food when the phone went.  
  
It was Catherine.  
  
"We've got a multiple and Grissom wants everyone in now. It'll be a long night, so eat something quick."  
  
"Sure. I'll be right in."  
  
Sara hung up and debated going without the food. The Chinese hadn't really had long enough to reheat properly, but it was hot enough. It would probably be okay.  
  
She ate it quickly from the pan and was on her way within ten minutes.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Some time later Nick, Catherine and Sara were just finishing up logging in the evidence when Nick noticed that Sara had gone white.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Sara had been overcome with a dreadful wave of nausea that had appeared out of nowhere.   
  
She didn't even risk opening her mouth to speak, just pushed past the other two in her headlong dash to the ladies.  
  
Catherine followed quickly after her and was in time to hear Sara being very ill.  
  
There was another woman in the toilets, one of the lab. staff from the arriving day shift, who stood by looking horrified. When she saw Catherine was going to Sara's aid she left quickly.  
  
Eventually Sara was reduced to dry heaves and finally stopped. She flushed the toilet and used the drinking water tap to wash out her mouth. She washed her hands and wiped her face with tissue. Catherine looked her over.  
  
"What was that all about? You look like hell."  
  
Sara glared at Catherine's reflection in the mirror.  
  
"Gee, thanks Catherine."  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
Sara straightened slowly over the sink.  
  
"Earlier tonight I reheated a Chinese meal from the day before yesterday. I didn't give it long enough to heat through when you called. It's my own stupid fault."  
  
Catherine put her hands on her hips and tutted.  
  
"The day before? You shouldn't have reheated it from two days ago. No wonder you're sick."  
  
She looked Sara over and the look turned speculative.  
  
Sara saw her expression.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sure it's just that? Nick says that you met a guy on your holiday and had some fun."  
  
Sara's jaw dropped.  
  
"Nick will get his ass kicked when I feel well enough."  
  
"You haven't answered the question."  
  
"No. I. Am. Not. Pregnant." Sara ground out between gritted teeth.  
  
"Sure?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
"Unlike the test?"  
  
"I haven't taken a...oh shut up."  
  
Sara threw her paper towel in the bin as Catherine laughed at her expense.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just that your face was a picture. Kidding. Why don't you go home, that Chinese won't have finished with you yet. I'll let the others know that you're not well."  
  
Sara realised that the other woman was quite sincere in her apology and let herself be guided out of the ladies room.   
  
"Will you be okay getting home Sara?"  
  
Sara nodded, and turned towards the locker room. Catherine saw her to her car and made sure that Sara knew she could call if she needed anything.  
  
Catherine stuck her head in to Grissom's office when she returned to the building.  
  
"I've sent Sara home, she's not well. I doubt she'll be in tomorrow."  
  
Grissom looked up from his desk, concern on his face.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Her last meal mostly. A stomach bug. Probably. She'll be okay in a day or two."  
  
"Right." Grissom looked contemplative for a moment. "I think that we can manage without extra cover for her. Between us we can deal with the multiple now that the evidence is in."  
  
Catherine shook her head in disbelief.  
  
"Gil, I can't believe you just said that."  
  
Grissom looked surprised.  
  
"What?"  
  
Catherine came fully in to his office and shut the door behind her.  
  
"Remember that little chat we had about lifting your head out of the microscope every once in a while?"  
  
Grissom looked slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Vividly."  
  
"So, lift already!"  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Catherine made no apology to her conscience about misdirecting Grissom. Honestly, she wanted to slap him sometimes.  
  
Over the last seven, no eight weeks since what she privately referred to as the holiday assignment, there had been little clues and hints and signs that led her to believe that her two friends had got a lot closer than they were admitting to.   
  
If she had made Gil think that this stomach bug was anything more than a stomach bug, well, it was his fault for making an assumption. At least it might get them talking.  
  
Grissom remained at his desk, trying to figure out what Catherine was trying to tell him.  
  
Was he being callous about Sara being ill? As Supervisor it was his job to arrange staff cover if needed, but a stomach upset wouldn't keep Sara off for long.  
  
He was concerned about her of course. But he didn't rush round to any other staff member's house if they were ill. They might think that he was checking up on them.  
  
Knowing Sara she would probably never forgive him for seeing her when she was ill.  
  
He would get Catherine to go round if it was necessary.   
  
  
  
^^^^^^  
  
When Sara returned to work the following night she felt much better. It was surprising how quickly she had recovered after twenty-four hours, admittedly ten of those fast asleep.  
  
For the first time since she came back off her holiday she felt that same sensation of being watched and whispered about. One or two people had enquired after her health that would not have normally done so, and twice she had entered a lab. only to find the conversation had ceased suddenly.   
  
She had not mentioned her concerns to her colleagues, thinking that she was just being fanciful. It would blow over, whatever it was.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
A couple of nights later Nick entered the break room and found Catherine and Warrick eating their lunch.   
  
He looked unusually solemn.  
  
"Have you heard any gossip lately?"  
  
Catherine looked up at him in surprise. He didn't normally pay any attention to gossip.  
  
"What about?"  
  
Nick lowered his voice.  
  
"Scuttlebutt around the water cooler is that Sara's pregnant."  
  
"What?!"   
  
Catherine looked surprised, then exasperated.  
  
Warrick looked uncomfortable.  
  
"Yeah, I heard that too, but I don't believe it."  
  
Catherine looked at the two of them. Obviously the woman who had seen Sara throwing up had been busy.  
  
"Well, it's not true. She had food poisoning. She's okay now. Forget it, it'll be a five day wonder."   
  
Catherine stood and threw her sandwich wrapper in the bin. She headed for the door and turned back to the two men.  
  
" It's just malicious gossip and none of our business."  
  
"What's none of our business?"  
  
Grissom's voice behind her made Catherine jump out of her skin. Damn the man, did he have to have such silent shoes?  
  
"Nothing!" Nick said too quickly.  
  
Grissom's internal radar was up in an instant. He stood blocking the doorway and gave each of them a hard stare.  
  
"Nothing?"  
  
His gaze settled on Nick and the younger man quailed at the idea of telling Grissom that Sara's holiday romance may have left a lasting reminder.  
  
Catherine stepped into the two men's line of sight and indicated the file in Grissom's hand.  
  
"Is that file the blood work back on our fire vic.?"  
  
Grissom did not answer immediately. He thought he saw some sort of warning in her gaze and allowed himself to be distracted.  
  
"Yes, he was sedated with well over the therapeutic dose level of sleeping tablets. He could not have been smoking in bed with that amount of drug in him. He would have been asleep for hours."  
  
"So, he was probably doped and someone placed the cigarette in his hand?"  
  
Catherine indicated with her hand that she was leaving the break room and Grissom turned to follow her, but not before flicking one last glance back at the two men.  
  
It seemed to say 'this isn't over'.  
  
Both Nick and Warrick waited several beats before they breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Man, that was close."  
  
"You got that right."  
  
"You think we should warn Sara?"   
  
Warrick gave Nick's question some thought.  
  
"About the gossip or about Grissom?  
  
"Both. Wouldn't you want to know?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
The two men left the room and split up to go and find Sara.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Catherine steered Grissom back to his office. She figured he was less likely to overhear any gossip there.  
  
"What was that all about?"  
  
Grissom's enquiry was quite mild, but his gaze said, 'don't mess with me'.  
  
"Not important."   
  
Catherine waved her hand to dismiss something of no relevance.  
  
"Kindly let me be the judge of that. What is going on?"  
  
Just at that moment Catherine's mobile rang.  
  
She excused herself to Grissom and answered the phone.  
  
"Willows. Yeah. Ahuh. No that's fine, I'll do that. Later."  
  
She hung up and tried to look apologetic.  
  
"I have to go. We need to talk later."  
  
She was out of the door before Grissom could stop her.  
  
Catherine was never going to tell Grissom that that had been Warrick on the mobile, giving her an 'out' from his office if she needed it. Warrick had also told her that they were trying, without much luck to find Sara.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom left his office in search of Catherine.   
  
Brass had just called to say that he and Sara were about to pick up their arson suspect for the 'cigarette in bed' victim. He thought that Catherine should know as the three of them had dealt with the case.  
  
Grissom was just on his way to the labs. when he saw Catherine go in to the break room with Conrad Eckle. Now there was a man who knew how to be an idiot. What the heck was he doing here an hour early for the day shift?  
  
By the time he entered the break room Catherine had already started to reply to whatever Eckle had said. She did not look happy.  
  
"I've told you, it's a pack of lies. If you don't believe me ask Sara herself and even if it was true, it's none of your damn business."  
  
Eckle turned round from the coffee percolator with the jug in his hand, pouring himself a coffee.  
  
"Well, when I can find Grissom I'll..."  
  
"You'll do what Eckle?"  
  
Eckle looked over his shoulder at the night shift Supervisor. The scorn on his face was blatant and both Grissom and Catherine wanted to smack it off.   
  
Eckle turned to face Grissom, gesturing with the coffee jug.  
  
"I have been reliably informed that a member of the night shift has failed to inform the appropriate staff about a medical condition that could compromise their ability to do their job. A failing compounded by the fact that you have also failed to report it."  
  
"You pompous windbag. What are you on about?"  
  
Grissom was getting increasingly annoyed with the other man waving the pot in front of his face. Had he learned nothing?  
  
"C.S.I. Sidle is pregnant."  
  
Grissom froze for only a second as various disparate pieces of information gathered together to form a theory. His shocked gaze transferred to Catherine and turned to anger.  
  
Catherine saw his fury build as he turned back to Eckle.  
  
"You have no reliable sources, only your own staff who couldn't find their backsides with their own hands and a map."  
  
"At least my staff don't get themselves knocked up on - "  
  
Grissom batted aside the coffee jug and stepped forward. Catherine stepped in front of him when she saw his fist ball. She hung on to his arm, and shook it to get his attention.  
  
  
  
"Grissom - he's not worth it!"  
  
The glass jug shattered on the floor and Eckle looked at Grissom in disgust.  
  
"What the hell is it with you and coffee jugs? You - "  
  
He saw the fury in the usually imperturbable Grissom, and seemed suddenly to realise the danger that he was in. He abruptly shut up.  
  
  
  
When he had backed away sufficiently he faced Catherine.  
  
"You saw him, he assaulted me! I'll report him and have him fired."  
  
Catherine turned to Eckle but maintained her grip on Grissom.  
  
"All I saw was you dropping the coffee pot. You were careless - again. Now get out of here."  
  
Catherine turned back to Grissom once Eckle had left. She released his arm.  
  
Grissom was still in a state of shock. Eckle always seemed to bring out the worst in him. He had been ready to deck the man. He looked at Catherine.   
  
"Thank you." He paused, gathering himself. "Back to my office. You said that we needed to talk."  
  
Grissom refused to say another word until the two of them were inside his office.  
  
He sat down at his desk, rubbing his hands over his face. If Sara was pregnant why the hell hadn't she come and told him?   
  
"Okay, so talk. No, first is it true?"  
  
Catherine eyed Grissom trying to judge how he felt about the idea. She knew that Sara wasn't pregnant, but that didn't mean she shouldn't take advantage of the situation.  
  
"What difference does it make to you? It's nothing to do with you, is it?"  
  
Grissom looked at Catherine. He knew that she had set them up at that hotel and she was still unrepentant about it. Was she being dense or crafty? She obviously wanted him and Sara to get together. Now it looked as if the fates wanted it too.  
  
However, he wasn't about to confess all when he hadn't got all the facts.  
  
"Of course it makes a difference to me, I have to organise the shift staff."  
  
Catherine smiled, sensing him wriggling on the hook.  
  
"That's not what I meant and you know it. Do you care about Sara? C'mon Gill, it's just you and me here. Do you care about Sara? Yes or no. Simple question, even simpler answer. I care about her, don't you?"  
  
Grissom thought it wasn't in the least simple. But he wouldn't stand by and let Sara cope on her own. They would have to talk about this. But he would talk to Sara before anyone else, and that included Catherine.  
  
"I care about all my staff. Now, is it true about a baby?"  
  
Before Catherine could answer the door to Grissom's office burst open.   
  
The expression on Nick's face precluded any attempt to chastise the young man for interrupting their conversation. He was breathing heavily from exertion but his face was as white as a sheet.  
  
"Brass has been trying to get through on your phone!"  
  
Nick gestured to the desk phone, which Grissom now noticed was slightly off the hook. He re-seated the handset and looked back at Nick.  
  
An awful foreboding clutched at his insides even as the desk phone and his mobile started to ring.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Sara's been shot."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
TBC  
  
Working on 5, don't shoot me.   
  
.  
  
P.S. If you are wonderfully kind enough to review, and you don't mind, I'd love to know what country you're from. It's one of the aspects of the internet I find fascinating!  
  
Best wishes, be well.  
  
(England) 


	5. The Holiday Assignment 5

Disclaimer: C.S.I. owned by other lucky beggars. Borrowed and returned in good order.  
  
Titles: The Holiday Assignment (5)  
  
Author: hazeleyes57  
  
Spoilers: If any, only up to season 3  
  
Author's notes: This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I can't finish it as quickly as I'd hoped and the (non review) emails I'm getting are beginning to sound desperate!! So this is only really half of chapter five for you to have a fix. Many of you want Sara to be pregnant and some of you do not, and I can't make everyone happy, so I'm going with my original plotline and apologise to the relevant group.  
  
Thank you to everyone who has left a review, they have kept me going through tough times. Thanks for telling me where you were too, that was fantastic. I love the net!  
  
Summary: Grissom may have realised too late what he wanted.  
  
Rating: PG 13 (Smut in part 6!!)  
  
The Holiday Assignment (5)  
  
Grissom: "What is it?"  
  
Nick: "Sara's been shot."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom stared at Nick as if he had grown two heads. He felt as if ice cold water was being poured over the inside of his body.  
  
The words Nick had spoken echoed and repeated endlessly inside Grissom's skull.  
  
All he could think was 'no, not Sara, not another Holly, please God no'.  
  
Everyone was stunned, frozen into immobility with shock.  
  
Both the desk phone and Grissom's cellphone continued to ring.  
  
Catherine recovered first and snatched up the desk phone handset.   
  
"Willows."  
  
Grissom suddenly scrabbled to get his cell out before it stopped ringing.   
  
Catherine expected it to be Jim Brass on the other end of the landline, so she was surprised when she heard Warrick's voice.   
  
"I've just heard about Sara. You're gonna hate it, but day shift have got the crime scene. The good news is that Brass took the guy down. A righteous shoot. It was the cigarette arson guy they went to arrest. Came out all friendly with his hands up and had a gun taped behind his head."  
  
"Is Sara okay? Do we know anything?"  
  
Catherine thought that the arsonist could fry in hell for all she cared, she wanted to know that Sara was somehow all right.  
  
"All I know is that she was still alive at the scene. Brass is trying Grissom's cell now; he couldn't get through on his office line. That's why Nick ran up. When you're done up there I'll drive you to the hospital. I'll wait down here."  
  
"Okay. Down shortly."  
  
Catherine hung up and moved to stand beside Nick, who was beginning to get some colour back in his face. She put her hand on his arm. She kept her voice low as Grissom listened intently on his cell.  
  
"Sara was alive at the scene. There is still hope. Go get your things and meet Warrick downstairs. We'll be down in a minute."  
  
Nick nodded jerkily, took a look at Grissom, then headed out of the office.  
  
Catherine wanted everyone else away from Grissom just in case. She prayed, as she hadn't in a long time, that Sara would be okay especially now that Gil had nearly figured out that he needed her.  
  
She hadn't heard Gil say anything other than his name when he answered his cell. She wished she knew what Brass was saying. Grissom's silence was nerve-wracking.  
  
Grissom leaned on his left elbow on his desk, his left hand holding his cell up to his ear. His right hand rubbed his brow and then removed his glasses. When he finally did speak his voice seemed very loud in the silent office.  
  
"Okay. We'll be right over...oh, probably all of us. Yes. Thank you Jim. See you shortly."  
  
Grissom put his cell away and looked around to Catherine.  
  
"Sara's in the Emergency Room at the hospital. She's still alive - "  
  
"Thank God!" Catherine said fervently.  
  
" - but she is unconscious. Apparently it was a head shot."  
  
Grissom looked as if he were trying not to be sick. Catherine figured she looked exactly the same.  
  
"Jim doesn't know how bad it is, he just said that there was...a lot of blood."  
  
Catherine grabbed Grissom's jacket off his chair and practically threw it at him. He snatched his glasses up from the desk and quickly followed her out of his office.  
  
They met up with Warrick and Nick outside the main entrance of their building. Neither of the men had wanted to wait inside.   
  
"One or two cars?"  
  
Warrick asked the assembled group, not certain if Catherine was leading or if Grissom was still on it.  
  
"Take one. There's limited parking and they'll probably try to stop us seeing her to begin with, anyway. We're not family."  
  
His response demonstrated that he was on the ball for which Warrick was grateful, but the tone of Grissom's voice indicated that there would be trouble if they couldn't see Sara.  
  
"I'll drive."  
  
Nick didn't trust Warrick's driving at the best of times, let alone under these circumstances, Grissom's he wasn't certain about for obvious - but to him, unspoken - reasons, and he figured that Cath. was the best person to sit in back with Grissom and keep him sane.  
  
No one argued; Warrick climbed in beside Nick in the front, and the other two got in the back.   
  
Nick only narrowly avoided leaving rubber on the asphalt as he pulled out and at least two of the Tahoe's occupants were still buckling up. No one complained.  
  
Even with minimal early morning traffic it was still a twenty-minute drive to the hospital.   
  
Catherine glanced worriedly at Grissom. She wanted desperately to give him some comfort and as a mother the urge to hold him was strong, but he radiated such an air of careful control that she was reminded of the thin crust over molten lava. One touch and you would unleash the volcano. She knew regardless of anything that Grissom had said or not said, he cared deeply for Sara and she only hoped that he would get the chance to tell her.  
  
Warrick felt an unaccustomed uselessness. He wanted to be in back with Catherine to support her, but understood her need to support Grissom. He wanted to drive because he would get them there faster than Nicky. He wished that they had blues and twos. Hell, he just wanted to be there now. Layered upon everything else was his self-blame over Holly's death.  
  
Nick was working on more than one level. One part was driving with speed and skill, taking everything in with an epinephrine stoked clarity, another part was fearfully worried about Sara who could have been his sister for all the affection that he held for her. A third part was now wondering if there was any truth to the rumour about Sara being pregnant, and if so, who the father was. She had admitted to a holiday romance with 'someone' but when he thought about it later, that didn't entirely ring true. She was hung up on Grissom and Mr. X would have to have been really special to make her get over that. Sara had brought in just a few holiday photos after their conversation that night when she had returned to work and he had recognised Florida.  
  
Grissom had been in Florida.  
  
Nicky now found himself going over conversations that he had had with Catherine and, to a lesser extent Warrick, and putting this new spin on them. He suddenly remembered that time he had gone into the break room and thought he'd interrupted 'something' between Grissom and Sara. Maybe it hadn't been about work at all. Hell, what a mess. Lord help them all if Sara died.  
  
Grissom was aware of his surroundings, he knew where he was, where he was going and whom he was with, but it was all curiously detached from him. A part of him was wondering how he could function at all and part of him was just saying 'no' all the time.   
  
It didn't occur to him that he was in shock.   
  
When he was younger he had wondered which was the better way to die when it was his turn. Would it be better being sudden, like an accident or a heart attack - bang and he was gone, no time to fret. Or would it be better to know that he had six months to live so that he could put his affairs in order, living with the knowledge that the end was near. Curiously, it never seemed likely to him that he would die of old age. Maybe his job had made him pragmatic. When he got to his late thirties, he realised that it wasn't about him, it was about those that were left behind who would be affected by his passing. He decided that he'd rather know in advance so that he could sort out those left behind.  
  
He never imagined that he would be the one left behind.  
  
Grissom realised that he had made a big mistake with Sara.  
  
But not with the time he had had with her in Florida - how grateful he was now that they had been together - the height of futility was to regret a pleasure that was past and he didn't regret one single second.  
  
No, his big mistake was thinking that he could deal with it and move on. Sara was in his heart and in his head, and he had heard from her own lips that she loved him.   
  
Why on Earth had he thought that he could simply walk away?  
  
He had believed it because he needed to believe it so that he could give himself permission to be with her. He'd been stupid and arrogant. No, not stupid. Desperate. Desperate enough to play by her rules.  
  
But they hadn't even been her rules. They had been his. Sara had managed to find the chink in his armour but he had forced her to resort to the situation that she had. He had been the one saying 'no'.  
  
The whole thing seemed small now in the big scheme of things.   
  
He hoped he would have the chance to tell her. Them.  
  
Grissom's mind screamed to a halt and his heart thumped painfully in his chest.  
  
Dear Lord, how could he have forgotten about the baby?  
  
Catherine hadn't answered his question before Nick came in to the office. Was Sara pregnant? When they had discussed it in Florida - two events too late, he was ashamed to admit - Sara had told him that she was on the pill, but that wasn't foolproof so it could be possible.   
  
Sara had been sick at work. She had been looking tired lately, but he had put that down to the fact that she was sleeping badly. Added to that was whatever Eckle's 'proof' had been.   
  
It was all circumstantial evidence but it was all pointing in one direction.  
  
Catherine thought for a moment that she had heard Grissom groan quietly, but when she looked at him he was staring out of the window, his right hand thumb and forefinger stroking his bottom lip absently.  
  
The journey to the hospital seemed endless.  
  
Ten long minutes later Nick pulled in to the hospital grounds and - as he drove straight to the bay reserved for ambulances - he said,  
  
"When we stop, get out quick - you go in and I'll find somewhere to park. I'll see you in there."  
  
Catherine looked at him with gratitude and picked up her purse in readiness.  
  
The second the Tahoe stopped the three passengers got out double quick time and slammed the doors behind them.  
  
Nick pulled away at a more respectful speed as the others quickly headed for the emergency area doors.  
  
Grissom was out in front, with Warrick behind to his left and Catherine to his right. The doors opened automatically on a sensor and Grissom was moving so fast that he nearly hit them before they had time to open.   
  
Warrick and Catherine looked at each other across the space behind their boss and silently communicated with the glance.  
  
' I've never seen him like this.'  
  
' What did you expect?'  
  
Warrick nodded once in acknowledgement.   
  
Grissom went straight up to the main desk reception, not even seeing Brass over to one side, talking to another detective.  
  
"You have a Sara Sidle here, brought in with a gunshot wound. I need to see her."  
  
Catherine wondered if he'd even realised that he'd said 'I need' not 'we need'.  
  
The dark haired woman at the desk looked up from her clipboard and looked at the three newcomers, assessing them with a professional eye.  
  
The man who had spoken presented himself with an air of authority that made her want to give him his information without question but she stopped her knee-jerk response with a little effort. The other man and the woman with him looked worried, but not with the same degree of anxiety as the first man.   
  
In her best guess - aided by their prominently displayed ID badges - these were the patient's work colleagues, but she'd bet her bottom dollar that this man was closer to the patient than that. This information had all been processed in seconds and she stood up.  
  
"May I ask who you are, please?"  
  
Catherine could see nothing wrong with the pleasant enquiry but Grissom reacted as if he had been slapped.  
  
"What?"  
  
The woman, probably about Sara's age, looked sincerely sorry to have to ask the question again, but did so anyway.  
  
"May I ask who you are to the patient? We are only allowed to give out information to patient's relatives."  
  
Grissom looked at Catherine as much as to say 'am I dealing with an idiot?'  
  
He turned back to the woman.  
  
"I'm Gil Grissom, her boss - "  
  
" - y fiancé. Yes, probably the bossiest fiancé in the whole of Vegas."   
  
Catherine cut quickly across Grissom's sentence, completing it for him. She trod on his toe for good measure to get him to look at her, not the other woman. His head swung to her.  
  
"What?"  
  
Grissom glared at Catherine and she glared meaningfully back at him, eyebrows raised.  
  
Warrick looked from one to the other and back like a spectator at a tennis match.  
  
Comprehension dawned and Grissom looked back at the woman with the best 'of course' expression that he could manage under the circumstances.  
  
"Yes, her fiancé. I got here as quickly as I could."  
  
The woman, Helena by name, glanced briefly at Catherine with what the blond woman was surprised to interpret as respect. She thought that she had seen a small flicker of a smile ghost the woman's lips. Helena looked back to Grissom.  
  
"Her fiancé. Well, that's all right then. If you would like to wait in the relatives' room over there, I'll get the Doctor to come and speak with you. When her Uncle has finished talking to the detectives I'm sure he will join you."  
  
Grissom, Warrick and Catherine turned as one to look at Sara's 'uncle'.  
  
It was Brass.  
  
Wearing a shirt heavily stained with blood.  
  
Reality crashed back and Grissom turned back to the woman with a hint of desperation.  
  
"Please, at least just tell us if she is still alive."  
  
Helena was supposed to give the 'the patient is in good hands' speech, but she could see that this man needed more than that. It was a question of knowing which rules to break. She lowered her voice discreetly.   
  
"She is not out of the woods yet, but she is holding her own. And you did not hear that from me, okay?"  
  
Grissom nodded once, giddy with temporary relief. There was more hope now than there had been a moment ago.   
  
"When can we see her?"  
  
"I don't have that information. Please wait in the relatives' room and I'll find out."  
  
Grissom led the way to the room followed by Warrick and Catherine.   
  
^^^^^^  
  
Nick entered the emergency department and strode purposefully to the reception area. A trim dark haired woman stood with her back to him on the other side of the desk.  
  
"Ma'am, could you tell me where I can find Sara Sidle? She was brought in a short while - "  
  
Helena turned back to face this new voice as she put down the phone receiver.  
  
And nearly forgot how to breathe. She had worked here for three years and she thought that she had seen it all, but this attractive man made all others pale in to insignificance.  
  
She had the distinct impression that she was gaping.   
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Nick had been turning heads all his life and yet had remained a modest and charming man. He found that it was best just to pretend that he didn't notice women's reaction to him.   
  
This was the first time in his life that he had some idea how it felt to be on the other end of that equation.  
  
He found himself drowning in the greenest eyes that he had ever seen. For a long moment he forgot about everything, even Sara.   
  
Helena blinked and looked down, releasing Nick. She blushed, feeling rattled.  
  
"Er, I'm sorry, are you a relative?"  
  
"What? Oh, yeah. Sure. Sara's my cousin."  
  
"If you would like to take this form with you and get all Ms. Sidle's family to fill it in, it would help. The rest of her family are in that relatives' room."  
  
Helena indicated a closed door on the other side of the waiting room and Nick turned to see which one it was. He turned back.  
  
"Really? I mean - that's really good that they got here so fast."  
  
Helena smiled enigmatically and agreed.  
  
Before Nick had chance to join the 'family', Brass finished his conversation with the other detective and joined him. He was holding a clean 'scrubs' top that a nurse had given him to change in to.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Brass nodded. He looked worn out and tired.   
  
"I'm sorry that I wasn't able to prevent that bastard - "  
  
Nick held up a hand to stop the apology.  
  
"You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You stopped him from finishing the job."  
  
Nick belatedly realised that he didn't know if Sara was okay yet. He hoped what he had just told Brass still held true.  
  
They went to join the others.  
  
Grissom, Catherine and Warrick all looked up quickly when the door opened, hoping that it was Sara's Doctor.  
  
They were disappointed that it wasn't the doctor, but relieved that Nick and Brass had joined them.  
  
Catherine crossed the room to them both, placing a hand on each of them. She looked at the detective with sympathy.  
  
"You okay, Jim?"  
  
When he nodded, she continued.  
  
"Apparently Sara is 'holding her own'. We're waiting for more news."  
  
Nick found himself a seat, relief making him a little shaky.  
  
"That's good news, isn't it? I mean, better than nothing, right?"  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
Catherine looked at the form in his hands.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Nick looked at it and searched his pockets for a pen.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Lady outside wants Sara's family to fill in this form."  
  
He looked a little sheepish.  
  
"I told her that I was Sara's cousin. Sorry, it was the first thing that I could think of."  
  
Warrick laughed gently, gesturing to Brass.  
  
"So? Have you met Uncle Jim?"  
  
One corner of Nick's mouth curved up in a half smile as Catherine scribbled on the form with her details then handed the clipboard to Grissom and added,  
  
"Or her fiancé?"  
  
Both Nick and Brass turned as one to Grissom. Catherine was privately amused that both men had taken it for granted that she was talking about Grissom.  
  
Grissom signed without comment. Where was the damn Doctor?  
  
Ten minutes later the door opened again and Helena came in.  
  
"Sorry to disturb you, but have you finished with that form yet?"   
  
Warrick handed the paperwork to her.  
  
Helena looked down the form and her lips twitched in a manner very reminiscent of Grissom.  
  
"Okay."   
  
She looked up at the people in the room.  
  
"It's nice to see that nepotism is alive and well in the Las Vegas Crime Lab."  
  
"Pardon me?"  
  
Grissom looked at the woman. They had all tucked their ID's away when they had come in to the relatives' room. Had she noticed them earlier?  
  
"With the exception of Sara's 'uncle' in the LVPD, this entire list consists of members of the Crime Lab. all of whom are 'family'. Her fiancé, her cousin, her sister in law and her brother in law. Staggering coincidence, I mean, what are the odds?"  
  
Grissom was grudgingly impressed with her perception despite the acute situation that they were in.   
  
He looked around the room and saw that everyone else appeared to find the floor fascinating.  
  
He looked back at the nurse, trying for innocence.  
  
"Very slim."  
  
"Yes. About as slim as the chance that all of you can go and see Ms. Sidle."  
  
Helena stood resolute as everyone except Grissom started to protest. She held up one hand for silence.  
  
"I'll go and get the Doctor who is dealing with Ms. Sidle as soon as they are able to leave her. In the meanwhile you can decide which two of you gets to visit."  
  
She turned to Brass and indicated the clean scrubs.  
  
"If you come with me I'll show you where you can shower and change."  
  
Brass nodded wearily and followed her out of the room.  
  
There was no discussion needed. It was a given that Grissom and Catherine would go and see Sara if and when they were allowed.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
It was possibly one of the longest hours of their lives before the trauma Doctor came to the waiting room. Brass had returned about fifteen minutes after he had left, having used the doctors' on-call room shower. Warrick had brought coffee for anyone who wanted one from a vending machine out in the main waiting room.  
  
Talk was desultory. Catherine flipped through an old magazine without really taking anything in and Nick kept fidgeting in his chair. Grissom did not talk, flip or fidget. He stood staring out of the window at nothing in particular, lost in thought.  
  
When Warrick had asked him about coffee Grissom had turned to him with an unguarded expression that could only be described as bleak. He had declined the offer of coffee.  
  
Just as Grissom was seriously considering going and finding Sara himself, a man in blue 'scrubs' came in to the room to find himself the focus of all eyes. He looked around the room, wondering which of the men was his patient's fiancé.   
  
"Mr. Grissom?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Well, he would have lost that bet. This guy looked the calmest of the lot.  
  
"I'm Mike Kelly, Trauma Senior Reg."  
  
The men shook hands.  
  
"Gil Grissom. How's Sara?"  
  
He stiffened, unconsciously bracing himself for the worst.  
  
"She is doing as well as can be expected with the type of injury that she has."  
  
"That tells me nothing. Will she live?"  
  
Mike Kelly realised that he had underestimated this man. He wasn't calm at all, he was merely contained. His very detachment was the only way he could cope with this awful event.  
  
"I have reason to be cautiously optimistic..."  
  
There was a collective sigh of relief from the whole room and Catherine squeezed Warrick's arm where her hand had been resting. Grissom closed his eyes momentarily.  
  
He sensed that there was more.  
  
"However?"  
  
"...however, the bullet struck Sara just above the right ear, a glancing blow fortunately or we wouldn't be here now. It's not always the bullet that does the most damage with gunshot injuries; it's the percussive force of impact. That is - "  
  
"We know."  
  
Brass sounded terse.  
  
Kelly recalled Helena mentioning that one of the visitors was a LVPD man.  
  
" Of course; the shock-wave will have pushed the brain against the inside of the skull, causing some bruising and swelling, but obviously we won't know how much until the CT scan is back. We think that the oedema is what is keeping her unconscious. Until she comes around we won't know the full extent of the damage to her brain."  
  
"How long do you think it will take for her to come round?"  
  
Kelly shook his head.  
  
"We can't predict that. It could be half an hour or days. If you're ready I can take you through to her now."  
  
Grissom nodded. He turned to Catherine who had started to get up.  
  
"Would you give me a minute?"  
  
She looked at him and subsided back in her chair.  
  
"Sure. I'll catch you up."  
  
Grissom left with Kelly. They hadn't taken ten paces when Grissom spoke.  
  
" There is a possibility that Sara is pregnant."  
  
Kelly looked at him with mild surprise.  
  
"Sorry, I had no idea. It can't be very far advanced."  
  
"Less than ten weeks. I...we don't know for certain, Sara hasn't done a test yet, didn't want to tempt fate."  
  
Kelly nodded and Grissom felt bad for embroidering the truth.  
  
"If she is, will the baby be okay?"  
  
"It depends. There are no physical reasons for the pregnancy to be lost, no abdominal trauma, but she may go in to traumatic shock and that can sometimes cause a miscarriage. I'm afraid it's another 'wait and see'."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
By this time the two men had arrived in the Resus Department and Kelly took Grissom over to the end bed in the unit where Sara lay.  
  
Kelly cast a quick eye over the information on the monitors out of habit and then left the couple together after letting Grissom know that he only had to ask if he had any more questions.  
  
Grissom was shocked at how pale and small Sara looked. She was such a vital person that she seemed larger awake than this person lying here with a large dressing taped to the side of her head.  
  
"Oh, honey..."  
  
The words slipped out of Grissom before he could stop them. There was a wealth of emotion in them that would have brought joy to Sara's heart had she been able to hear him.  
  
Grissom reached out and enfolded Sara's free right hand in his left, using his right hand to fold her fingers around his. Her left hand had a pulse-ox monitor clipped to the end of her forefinger and a Venflon canula in the back of her hand attached to a drip. Her arm was bent so that her hand rested over her belly, its appearance looking protective to Grissom.   
  
He stood beside the bed, searching Sara's face for signs of returning consciousness or even just an awareness that he was here. He adjusted the oxygen line until it looked more comfortable.   
  
When Catherine arrived in Resus a few minutes later, she held back by the entrance when she saw Gil on the far side of Sara's bed. The naked emotion visible on his face would have stunned anyone that thought Grissom was as an unemotional perfectionist. It probably would have surprised many that thought they did know him.  
  
This was the man that Catherine knew had been on the inside all along, this man who mistakenly thought that he was unworthy of Sara's love.  
  
She shook her head slowly, one corner of her mouth quirked upwards. It had taken him long enough!  
  
She cleared her throat as she approached, just in case Gil wanted to retreat back into his shell in front of others.  
  
Grissom glanced up at her, but to her pleasant surprise he remained holding Sara's hand.  
  
Catherine raised one eyebrow in enquiry and smirked as she looked pointedly at their joined hands.  
  
"Don't gloat, it doesn't become you." Gil said mildly.  
  
"Aww, don't spoil my moment of glory."  
  
She smiled, pleased for him. She just hoped that he wouldn't shut down the minute that Sara woke up.  
  
"What happens now?"  
  
Grissom shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. When she recovers, it will depend on Sara and what she wants."  
  
Catherine sighed. He still didn't get it completely.  
  
"It's also about you and what you want as well. What do you want?"  
  
"Sara." He said simply, as if it were obvious.  
  
"That much is clear. I'm glad that you finally figured out what has been obvious to the rest of us for years."  
  
Grissom looked at Catherine in surprise.  
  
"Years?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Except for the brief wobble with Teri and Lady Heather - hey, you're a guy, we know you can't help it - you've been reasonably consistent in your affections, whether you realised it or not. Are you blushing?"  
  
Grissom did look discomforted. He knew that he shouldn't have underestimated his team, they were the best.  
  
He avoided answering by looking back at Sara. Catherine didn't let him off the hook.  
  
"Would you like to know what Sara thinks about the two of you?"  
  
Grissom looked at her, shocked at the thought that they had discussed him.  
  
"Oh, don't look like that, she didn't give anything away. It was a while back and we were tired. I was talking about relationship stuff and the games people play. She said to me, ' You never lose by loving. You lose by holding back.' It made me think about my choice in men. I never did get round to thanking her."  
  
"You think that I shouldn't hold back?"  
  
"Bingo." She grinned, and then added, "You are going to have to keep it quiet at work though. Eckle will have a field day if he finds out."  
  
"Eckle's an idiot."  
  
Catherine smiled, realising that Gil was trying to distract her from his interest in Sara.  
  
"Yeah, I know, but the idiot has powerful friends and he's gunning for you now."  
  
"Ah, yes. The coffee pot."  
  
"Two coffee pots. He'll probably start drinking tea."  
  
Grissom laughed quietly. He sobered when he thought about what Eckle had wanted.  
  
"He's after Sara as well."  
  
"Only as a means to get you. She's just collateral damage."  
  
"He'll use this pregnancy against her though, especially if he thinks that - "  
  
Catherine held her hand up to stop Grissom saying any more.  
  
"We were interrupted before I got chance to tell you earlier, but Sara's not - "  
  
Catherine halted when Grissom suddenly twitched and his gaze searched Sara's face.  
  
"She moved! I just felt her fingers move in my hand! Quick, find the call button."  
  
Catherine pressed the switch on her side of the bed. She made herself a mental note to talk to Gil about Sara's 'pregnancy' as soon as she had the chance.   
  
Grissom kept hold of Sara's hand, hoping to feel a repetition of the movement.  
  
"Sara? Sara, can you hear me honey?"  
  
Returning awareness came slowly and with pain for Sara. At first she could only hear voices and they seemed to be at the other end of a long tunnel. She felt that she should know these voices but their identities remained elusive for baffling moments.   
  
Confusion followed. Why couldn't she see? Why was she lying down?   
  
Had she overslept?   
  
The ringing noise in her head must be her alarm clock. She tried to bat the alarm off but her left arm was stuck and wouldn't obey her command.  
  
Noise. Pain. So tired, lemme sleep.  
  
"Sara? Sara, can you hear me honey?"  
  
Thank God, Gil was here with her. It was okay, she hadn't overslept, and they were on holiday. She smiled drowsily and realised that they were holding hands. She held on tight, she didn't want to lose him now.  
  
Grissom was relieved to feel Sara's fingers give a slight squeeze of his hand. A little smile appeared momentarily then faded.  
  
"Jones..." Sara sighed softly.  
  
Catherine looked puzzled as Grissom smiled. Who the hell was Jones? And why did that make Gil smile?  
  
Grissom caught her look.  
  
"Long story."  
  
"I look forward to hearing it."  
  
Pity, because it was one he had no intention of telling anyone, not even Catherine.  
  
"Sara, you are in hospital, can you open your eyes?"  
  
Sara's sight had returned and she blinked up at Grissom in confusion.  
  
"'pital?"  
  
"Yes, hospital. Do you remember going out to arrest the arson suspect?"  
  
Sara tried to recall the last thing that had happened before this moment. She closed her eyes to shut out any distraction from Grissom or Catherine.  
  
She had a sudden flash of sitting in a car. Driving - no, being driven, talking to...to...Brass!  
  
"Brass?"  
  
"Yes, you were with Brass. Do you remember what happened?"  
  
Sara frowned with the effort she was making.  
  
"No. Just Brass in his car."  
  
"It's okay, it's not important. You concentrate on getting better."  
  
Just at that moment Dr. Kelly entered the unit and came to the bed, carrying a file.  
  
Sara looked up at Grissom with concern.   
  
"Is Brass okay? Did we crash?"  
  
Grissom hurried to reassure her, and moved his right hand to cover their joined hands.  
  
"No, you didn't crash and Brass is fine."  
  
Sara's panicky glance went from their hands to Catherine and back to Gil. What was he doing?  
  
She tried to slide her hand out in the vain hope that Catherine hadn't noticed, but Grissom wouldn't let her go.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
Sara turned to Catherine in surprise.  
  
"What?"  
  
The blonde smiled as she stepped aside for the Doctor to examine Sara.  
  
"Gil will explain when he's ready, so give him a chance and listen."  
  
She turned back to Grissom, ignoring Sara's look of astonishment.  
  
"I'll go and let the others know that Sara has regained consciousness."  
  
Grissom nodded, thanking her as she turned to go.  
  
Dr. Kelly introduced himself to Sara then checked her vitals: pulse, respiration and pupil size/reaction. He did not touch the dressing on her head.  
  
"That seems fine. How do you feel?"  
  
"Splitting headache. Thirsty. A little confused." Here she looked at Gil, and he smirked, unrepentant.  
  
Dr. Kelly nodded reassuringly.  
  
"That's to be expected. I was just on my way back here to let your fiancé know the results of the CT scan. I was surprised to find that you have got off very lightly, all things considered."  
  
Sara was sure that whatever the Doctor was saying was vitally important but she had stopped paying attention after the word 'fiancé' fell out of his mouth.  
  
She looked up at Grissom in shock and then a glimmer of amusement shimmied through her surprise.  
  
Gil Grissom looked for all the world like a naughty schoolboy caught out in a prank.  
  
Sara couldn't bring herself to mind too much, after all, it meant he was holding her hand.  
  
In company and in public!  
  
Grissom and Sara looked at each other, both smiling slightly, one sheepish and the other amused.  
  
Dr. Kelly realised that no one had noticed that he'd finished speaking. He looked from his patient to her fiancé and back. Regardless of their age difference it was obvious to him that they were very much in love, and it cheered him immensely that his team had been able to win this one.   
  
With a small smile he added the scan to the patient's notes and slipped quietly away. He'd come back later.  
  
Grissom didn't want to rush Sara with the news that he was hoping for a relationship with her, so he was just wondering how to bail himself out of this fix when she proved that her wonderful intellect was as sharp as ever.  
  
"Family only, huh?"  
  
"Yes." Grissom sounded relieved. "Catherine was quicker on the uptake than I was."   
  
"So was that why she wasn't surprised to see us holding hands? She thought that you were 'playing along'?"  
  
"Probably." He hedged.   
  
Difficult to tell Sara that Catherine knew about them when she didn't know about it herself yet.  
  
Sara regarded him evenly.  
  
"So why are we still holding hands?"  
  
"Ah."  
  
Busted.  
  
Without letting go of Sara's hand, Grissom seated himself on the side of her bed, facing her.  
  
He looked over her beautiful face and gave thanks again for the second chance.  
  
" 'Ah.' That's it, is it?" Sara asked, a little unnerved by this new Grissom.  
  
"Patience." He laced his fingers through hers more securely and looked from their hands back up to her face.  
  
"When I received the message that you had been shot, it was - "  
  
"I was shot?!"   
  
Sara's look of horror had probably matched his at the time.  
  
"Yes, by the arson suspect you and Brass were going to arrest - "  
  
"I was SHOT!"   
  
"Yes, I - "  
  
"In the HEAD!"  
  
"Yes, I - "  
  
  
  
"And nobody thought to TELL me?!"  
  
She looked outraged at the sheer cheek of it.  
  
Grissom wondered if he was ever going to get to finish a sentence again. He spoke quickly before she could interrupt again.   
  
"I'm telling you now, and you were unconscious until a few minutes ago."  
  
"That's not the point...Jeez," Sara settled back on her pillows, clearly rattled by the information. She suddenly remembered that Brass had been with her.  
  
"Is Brass really okay?"  
  
Grissom nodded.  
  
"Yes, he's fine. He returned fire and shot the suspect. He wishes he'd done it before you were wounded."  
  
"Brass is here now?"  
  
"Yes, we're all in the relatives' room. You have acquired a large family."  
  
Grissom could afford to find it amusing now that he knew Sara was okay.  
  
Sara smiled, then remembered that Grissom was trying to explain about the handholding.  
  
"Okay, I'll thank him when I get to see him. Now, about the hands?"  
  
Grissom pursed his lips and decided to give Sara the short version of his epiphany. No holding back.   
  
"I'm holding your hand...because I want to."  
  
Sara's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Remind me again who got the bang on the head?"  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Catherine entered the relatives' room with a big smile on her face.  
  
"Sara's awake. She's talking."  
  
Everyone sagged with relief, and Warrick got up and came over to give Catherine a hug.  
  
Then they were all hugging and talking at once, laughing and a little misty-eyed, but no one minded.  
  
"Do you think that they'll let us see her now?"  
  
Catherine looked at Nick and understood his need to see Sara for himself, but she figured that Sara and Gill had a lot to talk about and might not want to be interrupted just yet.  
  
"I don't know. Perhaps you could go and ask Helena what the policy is now that Sara is awake?"  
  
Of course, the fact that Helena was not unattractive and might distract Nicky for a while never crossed Catherine's mind.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
A nurse had returned to Sara's bed to remove the oxygen tube and generally make her more comfortable. She checked Sara's observations again and noted them on her chart.   
  
When she had finished and turned to leave, Sara stopped her.  
  
"Can you tell me when I can get out of here?"  
  
The nurse looked surprised.  
  
"Not for twenty four hours at least with your head injury. You are on half hourly obs. until noon, then hourly until six p.m. then - "  
  
Sara stopped her quickly.  
  
"I get the picture. When is the earliest I can leave if everything checks out?"  
  
"Tomorrow morning. You'll be spending the night, at least. We're making arrangements to transfer you to a ward shortly."  
  
"Oh." Sara looked dismayed. "Thanks."  
  
The nurse left, but before Grissom could console Sara, Helena entered the unit and came over.  
  
"Your family want to visit with you now that you are awake. You may have two at a time for a few minutes if you're feeling up to it."  
  
Sara looked at Grissom. She didn't want to share him yet. She looked back to the woman.  
  
"Can you give me a minute before you bring them in?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Sara turned back to Gil once they were alone.  
  
"I have to tell you that I like this." She indicated their hands with her drip hand.   
  
Grissom was relieved, but also sensed a 'but' coming up.  
  
"But I need to know where you are going with it. Do you know what to do about it now?"  
  
Grissom supposed that he deserved that.  
  
"I like to think so. I want the opportunity to talk to you about it, at least."   
  
"Good. I'm okay with that." She looked at him seriously. "I just want you to realise that I would not have minded if anyone found out that we were together in Florida. I'm not ashamed of you or of us. I don't care who knew about it. But until we know ourselves where this is going now, I'd prefer not to let anyone else in on 'this'."  
  
Sara gave his hand a final squeeze, then reluctantly opened her fingers to let him go.  
  
"I understand. But we will talk."  
  
It was a firm promise.  
  
Grissom quickly raised her hand to his lips and gave it a kiss before placing it back on the bedding.  
  
He was just in time, as Brass and Nick came through the unit to Sara's bed a moment later.  
  
Grissom stood back near the head of Sara's bed despite the 'two visitor' rule.  
  
As Brass and Sara talked, Nick wondered if it was just his new suspicions about Sara and Grissom that made Grissom's position beside the bed look distinctly territorial.  
  
After reassuring himself that Sara was okay, Nick found that the few minutes they were allowed was already over. They said their goodbyes, and assured her that they would be back to visit later in the day, after they had had some sleep.  
  
As he and Brass left the unit, Nick felt considerably validated when the older man casually commented,  
  
" Was it my imagination, or was there a distinct whiff of testosterone in there?"  
  
Nick grinned. He mentally pulled a victory 'yes!'  
  
"For sure."  
  
Brass smiled as he shook his head. God help them both.  
  
They passed Catherine and Warrick going the other way. Nick stopped them briefly.  
  
"Hey, guys, I'm gonna wait in reception for you. When you're done I'll run us back to base for the cars."  
  
"Thanks bro. See you in ten."  
  
Warrick's easy saunter resumed beside Catherine's shorter stride. She turned to Warrick and smiled.  
  
"It worked after all. Something happened in Florida, it must have done. Sara being injured has made him realise what she means to him."  
  
Warrick didn't need to ask what - or who - she was talking about.  
  
"You sure about that?"  
  
"He held her hand - in front of me!"  
  
"Cool."  
  
Warrick's tone held real admiration.  
  
Hell, for Grissom that was practically sex.  
  
When they entered the unit a few moments later, they could see for themselves that Grissom was not going to leave Sara's side until the staff kicked him out.  
  
Catherine was pleased and amused. She wondered what Sara thought about it all.  
  
Sara was both thrilled and worried.   
  
Thrilled because she felt that they were on the cusp of something amazing.  
  
Worried because if this was Grissom's idea of keeping it between the two of them, it sucked.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Warrick acted as if nothing had changed between Sara and Grissom and greeted her with relief at her survival. He stepped back and let Catherine move closer to the bed. She looked Sara over.  
  
"I'm pleased to see that you've got a little more colour than you had earlier."  
  
Catherine wondered if Grissom had been responsible for it, but was wise enough not to ask outright. She could see for herself that they had decided to try to keep 'it' under wraps for now, it was the only workable solution for their professional relationship.  
  
"Yeah, I feel well enough to leave but they won't let me go until this time tomorrow."  
  
"Do you want me to get you some things from your place?"  
  
Catherine thought that Sara would prefer another woman to go and collect personal items.  
  
"No, it's okay. Thanks anyway."  
  
The last thing Sara wanted Catherine to see was the photograph of her and Gil that was beside her bed.  
  
"It's no trouble."  
  
Sara realised that Catherine wasn't going to give up.  
  
"It's fine. Grissom has already agreed to go for me."  
  
Catherine looked surprised.  
  
"He has?"  
  
"I have?"   
  
Grissom looked surprised too until he realised that there must be something at Sara's that she thought Catherine shouldn't see, unaware that Catherine had guessed about them.  
  
"I have." He repeated firmly to make sure there was no doubt.  
  
Catherine bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing aloud at the expressions on both of their faces.  
  
"That's okay then. Gil, we'll wait for you in reception. Sara, be well, we'll see you later."  
  
"Yeah, hang in there kiddo."  
  
Warrick smiled as he backed away from the bed and turned to walk out with Catherine.  
  
Sara smiled and gave a small wave as they left.  
  
Now there was just her and Grissom and she felt strangely nervous.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Grissom moved back to where Sara could see him without having to turn her head. He took Sara's hand back in his and was pleased to feel her hold him in return.  
  
Just as Sara's touch had reassured Grissom back in his room at the hotel on their first night, so his touch reassured her now. She gave him one of the big smiles that she saved just for him.  
  
"Not entirely, but I think I'm getting there."  
  
"Good. Good."   
  
Grissom looked down at their joined hands and realised that their lives had fundamentally changed today.   
  
In a way he should be grateful to the man that had shot Sara. It had been the wake up call that he needed. Part of him was scared about the changes that were coming to his life - to their lives - but it felt like the good scared that he experienced on a new roller coaster ride.  
  
It was exhilarating. He smiled suddenly. There might even be a new passenger on its way.  
  
Sara had been watching the play of emotion across his face and wondered at the smile.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. Everything."  
  
He shrugged and smirked, looking like the cat that had got the cream.  
  
"That's a little cosmic for you. Wanna share?"  
  
Sara was curiously intrigued.  
  
"Not yet, but when I do, you'll be the first to know."  
  
Grissom didn't think this was the right time to ask Sara if she was pregnant.   
  
"Cool."  
  
Sara yawned suddenly before she had chance to put her hand up to her mouth so Grissom reflexively yawned too.  
  
"Grissom, go home and get some sleep. The others are waiting for you, and they'll be tired too. Come back later, if you want."  
  
"If I want? What do you want Sara?"  
  
Sara's brown eyes smiled gently at him.  
  
"You." She said simply.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara was standing impatiently beside the hospital bed the next morning when Grissom came to take her home. He had returned to the hospital the previous day having collected the few things that Sara had wanted from her place, and these were now in a small overnight case on the end of the bed.  
  
He walked up to her and looked her over from head to toe. Apart from the dressing on the side of her head and her pale complexion, she looked her usual self, if a little tense.  
  
He didn't ask if she was ready to go, it was written all over her.  
  
"Come on. Tear yourself away."  
  
Sara laughed but her bottom lip trembled a little. She was very grateful when Gil took her hand in his, sharing his warmth and his strength. He picked up her case and they left together.  
  
As soon as Sara was comfortably settled in the Tahoe, Grissom drove out of the hospital and headed home. After a few minutes Sara turned to him, looking puzzled.  
  
"Where are we going? This isn't the way to my place."  
  
Grissom glanced at her before returning his gaze to the road.  
  
"I know. We're not going to your place. We're going to mine."  
  
"Oh? Did you forget something?"  
  
"No. I'm taking you home so that you won't be alone during your convalescence."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I have taken a week off so that I can take care of you."  
  
Sara thought that it was a good job that she was sitting down.   
  
"Oh."   
  
Sara was sure that the expression on her face was a match for the one that had been on Grissom's face when she had touched him to remove 'chalk dust' from his cheek.  
  
She was going to stay at Grissom's place.  
  
While he took care of her.  
  
Her bottom lip trembled as the overwhelming emotions ran through her.  
  
Joy, fear, love and anxiety, a roller coaster of huge highs and plummeting lows.  
  
It was all too much and the delayed shock rose up and hit her hard.  
  
She burst in to tears.  
  
It was safe to say that it wasn't the reaction Grissom was expecting.  
  
He quickly checked the traffic behind him and indicated to pull over to the side of the road.  
  
He stopped the Tahoe and released Sara's seatbelt, pulling her over to him and into his embrace.  
  
Sara continued to cry, despising the tears but unable to stop them. She went unresisting into Grissom's arms and held on tight, her face buried in his neck.   
  
He held her secure with one arm while his other hand stroked her back soothingly. He let her cry it all out without making any effort to stop her, until eventually she was quiet, except for the occasional hitch of breath.  
  
"Better?"  
  
Sara started to nod but stopped when she realised that her dressing was touching Grissom's jaw, making it press on her head painfully. She pulled away slightly and turned her head so that she rested on his shoulder.  
  
"Yeah. Sorry about that."  
  
"Don't you dare apologise. You have nothing to be sorry about."  
  
Grissom knew that Sara hated to be seen as weak, he was just grateful that he had been here when she needed him.  
  
"Much as I'd enjoy sitting here with you, I think we'd better leave before the traffic police arrive. Ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so."  
  
Sara straightened up and slid back into her seat. She put her seatbelt back on and looked across to Grissom.  
  
He was looking back at her like he had when he was Mr. Jones.   
  
"Let's go home."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Twenty minutes later Grissom opened his front door and stepped back to allow Sara to enter first. She walked down the short passage to the large open plan town house's main room.  
  
The large windows on the right hand side let in a flood of sunlight even with the half-closed venetian blinds. Sara heard the door close behind her and a moment later Grissom walked past her, going over to the blinds to darken the room a little.   
  
"You've moved some of the stuff around."  
  
"You're observant, it's a while since you've seen the place."  
  
Sara lifted one shoulder in a careless gesture. It wasn't her fault that she hadn't been here in a while. She moved to sit on the brown leather sofa, feeling a little shaky.  
  
Grissom returned to the hall table by the front door and collected Sara's case from where he'd left it. He looked at Sara and was not happy with her colour.  
  
"Would you like to lie down?"  
  
What she would have given to hear that six months ago. Sara grinned suddenly, feeling a little like her old self.  
  
"Best offer I've had all day."  
  
Grissom smiled at the flirty comment.   
  
"Is that a yes or a no?"  
  
"Actually, I think it's a yes."  
  
Sara got up and started to walk, a little unsteadily, over to Grissom.   
  
He dropped the overnight case and strode over to her. He picked her up in his arms and turned towards his bedroom.  
  
"You should have said if you felt faint."  
  
"I'm not - exactly. Just felt a little woozy for a moment. The hospital warned me it might happen. I guess I stood up a little too quickly."  
  
"Well, you won't be standing for a while, so get some rest."  
  
Grissom gently placed Sara on his bed, then took off her shoes and put her legs under the lightweight quilt. He moved to the windows and closed the drapes.  
  
  
  
Sara looked at Grissom. She was finally in his bed.   
  
And too damn tired to do anything about it.  
  
Grissom looked down at her. Sara was in his bed at last. He had fantasised about this moment so often, even more since the holiday, and now that it was here it wasn't at all what he expected.  
  
"Need anything?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Grissom raised his eyebrows in query.  
  
"You. Here. With me. Just hold me. Please?"   
  
Grissom smirked as he started to undo his shirt buttons.  
  
"Best offer I've had all day."  
  
Sara grinned and watched the man she loved strip to his boxers and climb in to bed beside her. Her head hurt too much for lovemaking, but this was the next best thing, and maybe later she'd feel better. Grissom spooned up behind her as she lay on her left side. He kissed the exposed part of her neck and wrapped his right arm around her.  
  
"Okay?"  
  
"Much better."  
  
Grissom lay awake until he was certain that Sara slept. He moved his right arm slightly so that his hand rested on her belly, and he wondered.  
  
Later they would have to talk.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
TBC.  
  
.  
  
. 


	6. The Holiday Assignment 6

Disclaimer: C.S.I. not my property, I was only dreaming. Sigh.  
  
Title: The Holiday Assignment (6)  
  
Author's note: Nearly done. Honestly, I don't know where all this comes from. Blame the powers that be.   
  
Many and massive thanks for the comments and reviews, I consider myself very fortunate.  
  
P.S. I've been trying to get a copy of the film 'To live and die in L.A.' which as you know featured Billy Petersen, when to my delight it was shown uncut on TV. If you can get to see it, do. I nearly spilt scalding tea in my lap when I saw Mr. P absolutely stark naked and I mean NAKED. This man has no secrets from me anymore. WHEW!  
  
Summary: Sara's on sick leave, Grissom's on holiday.   
  
Rating: R baby, yeah!  
  
The Holiday Assignment (6)  
  
"No, wait a minute."  
  
"Changed your mind?"  
  
"No, I just don't know if I'm ready."  
  
"We don't have to do this now. We can try later."  
  
"No. No, I want to do this; I need to do this. I really do."  
  
"Sara, if you're not comfortable with it then say so. I won't be offended."  
  
Sara sighed.  
  
"I know. It's just that I haven't done this before."  
  
Grissom smiled in sympathy, his lovely blue eyes tender with understanding and just a dash of amusement.  
  
"Well, if it's any help I haven't done this before either."  
  
"Really? Not ever?"  
  
Grissom shook his head solemnly.   
  
"So, I'm... like... the first one?"  
  
"Yes. You never know, I might be good at it."  
  
Sara didn't doubt that for a minute. Since they had come back to his town house from the hospital yesterday she had seen a whole new side to him.  
  
Grissom waited patiently for Sara to work it through in her head.   
  
"Okay."  
  
Sara's voice sounded more certain now, but she looked at Grissom with one last reservation.  
  
"You'll stop if I ask you to?"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
It would have helped Sara a great deal if Grissom had at least been able to pretend to keep a straight face when he said it.  
  
"Fine. Let's do it."  
  
Her voice was determined. This was the Sara he recognised.  
  
"You'll have to bend over, I can't do it with you standing up."  
  
Sara glared at him.  
  
He raised his eyebrows and tipped his head to one side in a gesture that she had no trouble reading as 'is there a problem?'  
  
"I know that, I was just about to."  
  
Grissom paused one last time to give her chance to change her mind. He didn't want her accusing him later of rushing her into it.   
  
"You sure you're ready?"  
  
"Yeah. Go for it."  
  
Her voice was muffled but firm.  
  
With Sara bent over and unable to see him, Grissom shook his head in amusement as he 'went for it'.  
  
Honestly, all this fuss just to wash her hair without getting her wound wet. He supposed that he should be grateful that she hadn't wanted to try a shower.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Catherine closed her locker door and picked up her purse. She was bone tired and could hardly summon up the energy to go home. It had been a long night and being down two members of the night shift meant more work for everyone. She looked at her watch and realised that if she didn't haul ass she would miss Lindsey before she left for school.   
  
As she turned to leave Warrick came into the locker room. He seemed surprised to see her.  
  
"I thought that you had gone."  
  
"Yuh, so did I until Eckle paid a call."  
  
Warrick said nothing, but his face gave his opinion away and Catherine couldn't help smiling in agreement. She watched him unbutton his shirt to change into a fresh one. Her mind went off in another direction as she mused that not many men could look sexy in a vest.  
  
  
  
"Goes with the territory, 'Ms. Supervisor'."  
  
Catherine pulled a face at Warrick's comment, but didn't reply.  
  
"I think you did a fine job this evening. Eckle should have no beef."  
  
"You would think."  
  
Catherine could handle Eckle, she wasn't worried on her own behalf, but he delighted in making people jump through the hoops and it achieved nothing except grief. He was trying to make something out of Grissom taking leave at the same time that Sara was off sick.  
  
Warrick finished buttoning up his clean shirt and looked over to Catherine. She was lost in thought. He thought that she looked tired. Damn good too, but tired.  
  
"You ready for Christmas?"  
  
Catherine brought her focus back at Warrick's casual inquiry.  
  
"Pretty much. It will be difficult, first one without Eddie around."  
  
"How is Lindsey doing?"  
  
"She's okay. Kids are tougher than you think. It helps that we were already apart, so she's used to not seeing him around all the time."  
  
Catherine looked at her watch again. She had to go.  
  
"Thanks for your help tonight. Appreciate it."  
  
Warrick waved away her thanks.  
  
"Anytime. You know you only have to ask."  
  
"See you tonight."  
  
"Count on it."  
  
Catherine smiled as she walked past Warrick. Somehow she didn't feel quite so tired.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom cleared away the breakfast things and quickly washed up the few dishes. He took the drying cloth off his shoulder and draped it over the rail. He glanced over to the bathroom door for the third time in ten minutes. What was she doing in there? She never took this long on holiday.   
  
"Sara?"  
  
No answer.  
  
He moved closer to the closed door, not quite anxious yet.  
  
"Sara?!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You okay? You've been a while."  
  
"You timing me now?"  
  
Grissom pursed his lips. Sometimes he had to walk a fine line not to make Sara defensive. Fortunately on this occasion she sounded amused.  
  
"No. You have a head injury and we have to look out for concussion or sudden blackouts."  
  
"Were you worried?"  
  
Definitely amused now.  
  
"No."  
  
"Liar."  
  
Amused and smug.  
  
"Possibly."  
  
The bathroom door opened and Sara came out, her trademark grin in place. She smiled up at Grissom as she went to him and slid her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her and took simple pleasure in the fact that he was allowed to.  
  
"Thank you for caring." She sobered, "It'll be difficult for me to get used to the idea of someone worrying about me. Please be patient."  
  
"You've been patient with my kind of madness. We'll learn together."  
  
Grissom searched Sara's eyes as he was speaking and she was left with the feeling that there was more than one level to what he was saying.  
  
"Yes, we will."  
  
She held his gaze and tried to let him know that she was willing to try on every level.  
  
The corner of Grissom's mouth tipped upward and tension he hadn't realised he was showing went out of his expression.  
  
Message received.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Nick pulled into the hospital grounds for the second time in as many days. He found a bay and parked, turning the engine off.  
  
He had been on his way home after the night shift when he had given in to the sudden impulse to go to the hospital and see if Helena was working today. He hadn't thought this out beforehand; he was tired and could probably do with a shave, though he had showered at work.   
  
He remained sitting in the SUV, undecided. He wouldn't be presenting himself at his best. That lack of confidence might let him down. On the other hand, women didn't like cocky guys. What was the worst she could do? Say no. Say that she didn't want to see him for coffee or anything else.  
  
It was only at that moment that Nick realised that he wanted to ask Helena out. His courage wavered and he reached forward for the key in the ignition. Shoot, he didn't even know if she was free.  
  
Just as he was about to start the engine he looked up and saw two women threading their way through the cars in the row in front of him. One of the women had black hair.  
  
He was out of the SUV before he had time to think about it. The slam of the car door attracted the attention of both women and they looked back at Nick. Helena said something to the other woman who looked at Nick again, grinned at Helena and carried on to work without her.  
  
His long stride quickly caught up with Helena.  
  
She was just as he remembered, black hair and those green eyes.  
  
Unlike girls he had known in the past she didn't give him a huge gushy smile or rush in to speech. She just gave him a pleasant smile and waited.  
  
  
  
"Hi."  
  
Nick's brain froze after the one syllable.  
  
"Hello again."  
  
That was positive, at least she remembered him.  
  
While Nick's brain was out to lunch Helena took pity on him.  
  
"How is your cousin?"  
  
Nick managed not to look blank.  
  
"Sara's doing good. Grissom took her home yesterday. She hates hospitals."  
  
"Many people do."  
  
Nick didn't know what to do with his hands. Folding his arms would look stand offish and putting his hands on his hips could be construed as threatening. Finally he put one hand in his pocket.  
  
Helena turned back towards the main entrance, then looked back at Nick as if to say 'you coming?'  
  
"I'm sorry, I won't hold you up any longer, you're goin' to work and I've just finished graveyard..."  
  
They both started to walk, Nick looking at Helena, Helena looking at the hospital.  
  
"...but I was wonderin' if you're free, maybe you would like to go out?"  
  
Helena stopped walking and looked at Nick. He couldn't tell what she was thinking.  
  
"It is kind of you to ask, but I don't think that would be a good idea."  
  
Nick was taken aback but tried to hide it.   
  
"I have to say that I'm disappointed."  
  
Helena smiled at the compliment.  
  
"Sorry. I assume that I'm allowed to say no?"  
  
"Of course, it's your right."  
  
Helena could tell from the tone of Nick's voice that he meant what he said. She smiled again, gently.  
  
"Yes, it is."   
  
Nick didn't know what to say or do. He hadn't been turned down in a long time. Surprisingly, he wasn't upset or cross.  
  
He was intrigued.  
  
"Okay. Maybe I'll see you around?"  
  
Helena looked up at him and wondered if he would bother to try again.  
  
"Maybe you will."  
  
"I'll look forward to it."  
  
Helena walked away and Nick watched her go.   
  
He wondered what time she had a coffee break.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom wasn't used to having anyone with him in the town house for any length of time. It was proving to be an odd experience having Sara around all the time.   
  
He knew that he had jumped in with both feet when he realised that Sara was going to live. He had been given a second chance and was going to take it, but the practicalities of it hadn't crossed his mind and the oversight worried him.  
  
He had never lived with anyone before.  
  
Waking up beside her this morning had been wonderful.   
  
Watching her wander around the place looking at his things was driving him crazy.   
  
He looked up from where he was sitting on the couch trying to read and watched Sara as she peered at one of his butterfly collections. From where he was he could see the glaring white patch of dressing that covered her bullet wound. He felt a hollow in the pit of his stomach when he thought about how easily he could have lost her forever.   
  
And maybe not just her. He looked at the side view of her body and tried to judge if she looked the same as he remembered her on holiday. Her skirt didn't look too tight; her shirt was nicely fitted. He couldn't see any difference.  
  
They still had not had their 'talk'. He couldn't seem to find the right time to bring it up. He was worried that the 'talk' might upset the equilibrium that they had achieved so far.  
  
He was hoping that they could just continue on the way things were going.  
  
"Spill."  
  
Grissom had been so introspective that Sara's voice came as a surprise.  
  
She had turned her head to look at him to ask him about one of the butterflies when she saw the expression on his face. He was deep in thought and whatever it was, obviously disturbed him.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Sara walked over to him and sat down beside him on the couch. She reached for his hand but he took hers in his. She didn't buy his innocent look.  
  
"What's bugging you?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Too quick Gil."  
  
Sara gave him time to put his thoughts into words. He was a private and solitary man not used to sharing his personal space and she privately wondered if he hadn't realised what he was getting into when he brought her home from the hospital.  
  
"Remember, just this morning you said that we'll learn together. Think of this as part of the lesson."  
  
Grissom smiled ruefully at Sara's reminder.  
  
"When did you get to be so wise, Grasshopper?"  
  
"I learned at the feet of the Master, and stop trying to side-track me. You're getting twitchy because I'm exploring your domain."  
  
"No!"  
  
Grissom protested but Sara just looked at him and waited.  
  
"Okay, yes, a little. I don't mind, but..."  
  
Grissom couldn't explain it adequately. Sara tried for him.  
  
"...but it's like getting in to a hot bath. You know ultimately it will be great, but at first it takes a bit of getting used to."  
  
Grissom smiled, grateful that she did indeed understand.   
  
"Nicely put. I love having you here, I really do. It'll be okay."  
  
Sara mentally added the word 'eventually' to what Gil had said. As soon as she was well enough she would go back to her apartment and give him the space and time that he needed to decide what came next in their relationship. She had waited this long; she could wait a little longer. Besides, other things could be shared before the accommodation was.  
  
"I'm sure it will." She looked at him and smiled, " Do you want to go out for a while?"  
  
Grissom looked back at her suspiciously. She was trying too hard to look innocent.  
  
"Are you feeling up to it?"  
  
"Honey, with you I'm always feeling up to it, but what about going out?"  
  
It took Grissom less than a second to switch tracks mentally and he smirked at her.  
  
"I thought you had a headache?"  
  
Sara dipped her head and looked up at Grissom with a sexy little pout.  
  
"I figured you could kiss it better."  
  
Grissom looked at her and wondered if it was wise to go down this route. His desire for her had been simmering beneath the surface all the time, but he had no intention of placing any physical demands on her until she was fit and well.  
  
Or until she asked him.  
  
His lips twitched.  
  
"Where does it hurt?"  
  
Sara solemnly touched her forehead with the forefinger of her free hand.  
  
Straightfaced and solicitous, Grissom leaned forward and place a gentle kiss on the spot where her finger had rested.  
  
Sara touched her cheek.  
  
Grissom kissed her cheek.  
  
She touched her chin.  
  
His kissed her chin.  
  
Sara tipped her head to one side and touched the side of her neck.  
  
Grissom kissed the side of her neck, under her ear. He flicked his tongue on her earlobe for good measure and felt her hand jerk in his.  
  
When he pulled back for his next direction he saw that Sara's colour had improved quite dramatically and her eyes sparked with mischief.  
  
Still without speaking Sara touched the open space in the V of her shirt lapels.  
  
Grissom hesitated, knowing that this was a point at which they could still stop.  
  
' Sure?' His eyes questioned without words.  
  
' Sure.' Her gaze confirmed as if he had spoken. Her finger tapped again.  
  
Grissom leaned down, placed his lips on the uncovered skin between the lapels of her shirt and tasted her with his tongue. He felt her shudder and heard her sharply indrawn breath.  
  
He leaned back for one last destination before he started picking the locations himself.  
  
Finally Sara touched her parted lips.  
  
She barely had time to move her finger before Grissom's mouth took its place.  
  
He let go of her hand so that he could pull her into his arms even as she put her arms around his shoulders, sliding a hand into his hair.  
  
He kissed her deeply, his tongue invading her mouth even as hers came to meet it, stroking, tasting, and greedily demanding more.  
  
Their kiss was a joyous homecoming. It swept aside the months since their last touch; it both soothed their souls and aroused their bodies.  
  
This was where it all made sense to Grissom. Here with Sara in his arms he didn't care about anything else but her.   
  
Sara's breasts were crushed against his chest; his arms tightened and moulded her against him. She fit against him perfectly. Grissom turned them slightly until he could lay Sara down on the couch, following her down to cover her with his body.   
  
Sara's breasts grew heavy and her nipples tightened with anticipation as the wonderful sensations Gil was creating rushed through her. He hadn't even removed any of her clothing yet but she knew that she was ready for him. She couldn't help moaning with delight, unable to form any words.  
  
She could feel his desire for her and didn't want to wait much longer for his complete possession. It had been too long. She pulled his shirt free from his pants and quickly slid her hand underneath the material to touch his warm flesh.   
  
Grissom felt Sara's hand on his back and the jolt that went through him was electric. Her sense of urgency communicated itself to him through her touch and his hips jerked reflexively against her. He tore his lips from hers and pulled back to look at her, enjoying her flushed arousal and the swollen redness of her parted lips. He slid his hand down to her left thigh and lifted it up to cradle his right hip then ran his hand along the thigh and up under her skirt until his fingers reached her panties. He slid his fingers under the material to pull her against his arousal.  
  
Sara tried to wriggle enough to lift her hips to allow Gil to remove her panties, but her foot hit the arm of the couch and pushed her backwards hard enough to hit her head against the other arm. Her moan of delight became a groan of pain and Grissom froze instantly. He tried to pull away but Sara held on to him.  
  
"Sara..?"  
  
"Don't you dare run away. I'm fine, just moved wrong, I'm okay."  
  
She could have wept with frustration as she read the hesitation in his eyes.  
  
"No, we shouldn't have tried, it's too - "  
  
Sara placed her fingers against Gil's lips to stop him completing the sentence.  
  
"No, it's not too early. If you stop now I will kill you, that's a promise."  
  
Grissom half smiled despite himself. He had been about to say that it was too early, but she didn't need to know that - he didn't want to disappoint her.  
  
"I was going to say that we shouldn't have tried on this couch - it's too small."  
  
"Oh."  
  
She felt silly for a moment until she realised that Gil hadn't said no. Her face lit up.  
  
"Then what are we waiting for? I know where there's a perfectly good bed going to waste."  
  
Grissom sat up and got to his feet. He took Sara's hand and helped her upright.  
  
  
  
She grinned and tugged him towards his bedroom.   
  
He didn't even bother with a token show of resistance; he just scooped her up and carried her into his bed.   
  
She flung her arms around his neck and rained kisses all over his face until he couldn't help laughing.  
  
He placed her on his bed and they both stopped laughing.  
  
This was how he had imagined her in his bed. Dishevelled and aroused.   
  
By him.  
  
Grissom reached out to touch Sara's face gently. The whole tone of their encounter seemed to shift from light-heartedness to something more serious and tender.   
  
Sara sensed the change and realised that this would be the first time they would be together after having acknowledged that there was something more than just sex between them. Not that it was ever 'just sex' for her. Mind blowing sex, great sex, yes, but maybe - for Gil - this would be the first time that he would call it 'making love'.  
  
She reached up her hand and held Gil's hand to her face, tipping her head to rest against his palm.  
  
Grissom looked at her face and the longer he studied her the more aroused she became. How could he make her feel so needy and wanton with just a look and a simple touch?   
  
Languorous warmth stole through her body radiating from his hand. Zinging sensation shot through her belly and straight to the core of her. His penetrating blue eyes seemed to see deeper than ever before with a clarity and openness that calmed her even as it aroused her.   
  
Grissom closed the distance between them until their lips met and lightening struck through them both. They pulled back to look at each other briefly then his mouth was on hers - or hers was on his, they weren't sure - but it didn't matter because either way it was wonderful.  
  
Without removing his lips from hers, Grissom slowly lowered Sara back on to the bed, ensuring that there was a pillow behind her to protect her head.   
  
They kissed for long minutes, not in a hurry to move on, just enjoying the sensations flooding through them. Grissom planted a trail of kisses from Sara's face down her neck to her throat and further down to the flesh between her breasts. He slowly undid the buttons on her shirt until it parted, giving him better access. He used his fingers to tease her through her flimsy bra, pebbling her nipples, then took one of the lace-covered nubs into his mouth, suckling the tasty treat. Minutes later he swapped breasts so that the other one wouldn't feel neglected and repeated his explorations.   
  
Sara was surprised at the intensity of sensation in her breasts as Gil tugged gently at her through the wet lace. Each pull connected to the bundle of pleasure between her legs, making it throb. When he pulled the lace back and freed her, the pulsing intensified until it was almost painful and she gasped with pleasure as his lips closed over her naked flesh.  
  
Sara's gasps and sighs guided Grissom in their mutual seduction. A remote part of him was storing away her preferences so that he would remember them for her later. He skilfully removed her skirt so that he could kiss his way across her belly.  
  
He brought his right leg up between Sara's, using his thigh to press against her intimately. As he had on the couch, he pulled her leg over his hip so that he could press even closer.  
  
Sara didn't know how Gil was managing to take it so slow after all these weeks apart. She had enjoyed the prolonged kissing but now she had the same overwhelming urge to take him hard and fast that she had had while on their holiday. As he pressed between her legs she brought her hips up to meet him, moving rhythmically against his arousal. She pulled at shirt, tugging the buttons apart so that she could feel his bare chest against her, flesh to flesh.  
  
It wasn't enough. She ineffectually pulled at his pants belt until Gil himself leaned back and undid it for her with hands that were trembling with his own need.   
  
Sara ran her hands over his erection through the pants material and heard his sharp intake of breath. She grabbed at the material on his hips and pushed carefully downwards, taking both pants and boxers together. Finally she was able to take hold of him after so long.   
  
Grissom felt and saw her hand close around him and it took every ounce of his willpower not to just rip her panties off and thrust himself deeply inside her.  
  
"Sara..."  
  
It was an anguished warning that she was pushing him too far.  
  
'Too far' was fine by her; she wanted him frantic, just the way she was.  
  
"Yes, hurry...please, now!"  
  
Grissom was torn between his desire to go slow and his urge to do as Sara - and his body - demanded.   
  
He leaned over her and slid a hand over her smooth belly down to the lace-covered nest of curls at the juncture of her thighs. She shuddered in delight as his fingers slipped underneath the material and briefly dipped into her moist heat, testing her readiness for him. Her hips surged up to follow his hand, reluctant to let him go, and he pulsed in her hand.   
  
"Ohh..."  
  
Sara whimpered, aching for him.  
  
Grissom could wait no longer. He tugged at her panties with one hand, intending to remove them down her legs, but the flimsy material gave way with a quick ripping sound.  
  
Both of them looked startled for a moment, then they both grinned.  
  
"Animal."  
  
"You inspire me."  
  
However it had happened, Sara was now uncovered and open to him. He wasted no time in capitulating to her earlier demand.  
  
She guided him to her and they both sighed with satisfaction as he sheathed himself in her warmth, burying himself to the hilt in one long slow glide.  
  
For several seconds neither of them moved, just savouring the sensations they were both experiencing.   
  
Grissom carefully lowered himself down on to Sara, taking most of his weight on his left elbow, leaving his right hand to clasp Sara's left, threading his fingers through hers.  
  
Sara welcomed the pressure of Gil over her; she had been too long without him.  
  
"You feel so good."  
  
"Not as good as you do."  
  
Grissom started to move slowly, letting Sara set the pace. Time ceased to have any meaning as the minutes passed on their journey, taking them closer to the end.  
  
Sara's sense of urgency returned in full force and she clutched at his shoulders, then his hips, pulling him down harder, urging him to go faster.   
  
When Sara arched up and moved urgently against him, Grissom was consumed by the most powerful sense of raw primitive need that he had ever experienced. The blood pounded through his veins and he lost himself completely in her. He was hers, always and forever.   
  
Sara was also consumed by their powerful coupling, hurtling along a dazzling trail towards completion. There was only elemental man and woman together, no separate sense of self, she was his and he was hers.  
  
The spiralling sensation climbed higher and ever more brilliant until finally she cried out as it shot through her in stunning waves holding her rigid as Gil moved forcefully within her.   
  
Grissom released his teeth gritting hold over himself and erupted explosively into Sara, surging again and again until he was drained.  
  
They collapsed together, Grissom resting his head beside Sara's neck, both of them breathing hard.  
  
She wrapped her arms around him, exhausted but hugging him with joy. She felt an answering squeeze and smiled hugely. Her happiness was so big that she couldn't contain it.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Grissom suddenly found he had enough energy to lift his head and look in to Sara's eyes.  
  
He had known in his heart all along, even before Florida.  
  
He saw in her eyes the quiet acceptance of how she felt about him without any demand for reciprocation.  
  
She had been brave enough to say it aloud - could he do any less?  
  
"I...love you, too."  
  
His hesitant words made Sara's eyes glisten with unshed tears of happiness as she watched the astonishment flit across Gil's face.  
  
He looked as if it had only just dawned on him how he felt.  
  
"Say it again."  
  
Her obvious happiness was all the encouragement that he needed.  
  
His voice was firmer this time, more assured.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Sara's beautiful grin broke out.  
  
"It gets easier, doesn't it?"  
  
"Yes." Gil searched her face. "I've been stupid, haven't I?"  
  
"No, just not ready."  
  
Grissom acknowledged the truth of her words.   
  
"You've been so patient. I'm sorry that I hurt you, that was never my intention."  
  
Sara looked up at him, finally able to let him see how she felt.  
  
"I know. I'm sorry I made it difficult too."  
  
"Difficult, impossible, passionate and committed. And you still scare me."  
  
Grissom said it with affection, taking away any unintentional sting.  
  
Sara chuckled gently.  
  
"Hey, I scare myself."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Later Grissom lay awake while Sara dozed in his arms. He guessed that their 'talk' might seem redundant now that he had admitted to Sara - and himself - that he loved her, but they still needed to work out their relationship with regards to work and he still hadn't asked her if she was pregnant.   
  
If he were being totally honest with himself he wasn't certain how he felt about a baby just yet. Part of him was awed and amazed that he and Sara might have created another human being, something that he had never thought that he would have with anyone, let alone with Sara. The realistic scientist in him acknowledged that he and Sara were two complicated people with enough issues between them to keep a shrink happy for years. He was worried that with a baby added to the mix that they might not get themselves sorted. But a baby was a blessing, not to be squandered and his mind swung back again.  
  
He supposed that he could just wait and see but the suspense was killing him.  
  
He decided to wait until Sara was feeling better before he asked her. Maybe between now and then he would have discovered the answer for himself.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
They spent the next five days letting themselves become as emotionally intimate as they were physically.   
  
Sara knew that the holiday in Florida had not been a realistic guide to them living together. That had been a time out of reality. They had both thought it was temporary and had made it work well. The reality of living together was quite different.  
  
They both wanted to be together but both also feared it to some extent.  
  
Sara had been hurt in the past and Grissom had never lived with anyone since he left home. Each was worried that a measure of their independence would be lost, although both of them also knew that the other would never dream of causing that situation. Their emotional maturity had to catch up with their intellectual maturity. They knew it in their heads; they just had to believe it in their hearts.  
  
On the Saturday before the Monday night that they were due back at work they had their first difference of opinion.  
  
They were both seated at the dining table in front of the large windows, having just finished eating lunch.  
  
"Gil, when it's convenient, would you run me back to my place?"  
  
Grissom looked up, a question in his eyes.  
  
"Have you forgotten something? What do you need?"  
  
Sara smiled with regret and he felt a frisson of alarm.  
  
"I need to go home. We're back at work on Monday, I'm better now, I have to go."  
  
Grissom was stunned. He was under the impression that circumstances had changed since they had admitted that they loved each other.  
  
"But why? I thought..."  
  
He trailed off. He hadn't thought. He'd assumed.  
  
Sara shook her head.  
  
"No Gil, I guess it's time we had our talk."  
  
Grissom was silent while he tried to put his thoughts in order. His confusion was visible.  
  
"I want us to be together."  
  
"I know; we are together. But I think that the water is still too hot for you just yet."  
  
Grissom opened his mouth to deny it but found that he couldn't. He had hoped that she wouldn't notice and 'things' would just work themselves out. He felt guilty.  
  
Sara looked at Gil's stony expression and her heart went out to him. She reached across the table and took his hand in hers.  
  
"Honey, don't panic. This is for the best; we will have to keep it from work anyhow, and this'll stop Eckle from knowing for sure about us. We can take it as slow as you need to. I'm only going back to my place, I'm not leaving you."  
  
"But when will I see you?"  
  
"You'll see me at work and I'll be over whenever you call."  
  
"That's not the same as having you here with me."  
  
"It's all there can be at the moment. It's all that you are ready to give."  
  
Grissom ran his free hand through his hair and looked at Sara with both desperation and determination.  
  
"I don't want you to go. I love you."  
  
"I know, and I love you too. I'm doing this because I love you, and it is difficult. My going is not your decision to make. Your decision is knowing when you're ready. There is no hurry, we have plenty of time."  
  
"No we don't, what about - "  
  
Grissom stopped abruptly suddenly aware of what he'd nearly blurted.  
  
Sara looked puzzled, waiting for Gil to finish his sentence.  
  
"What about - what?"  
  
Grissom shook his head.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Sara looked at him. This was obviously not 'nothing'.  
  
"Gil, don't snow me. What about - what?"  
  
Grissom knew that tone of voice. She wasn't about to give in any time soon.  
  
It wasn't how he had imagined asking her, but it would have to do.  
  
He looked at her, trying to judge her mood.  
  
Whether or not she would kill him.  
  
"Are you pregnant?"  
  
Whatever Sara had been anticipating, this wasn't it. Grissom could tell that she was genuinely surprised when her jaw dropped.  
  
  
  
Sara closed her mouth with a snap, then opened it again.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Are you - "  
  
He didn't get chance to finish.  
  
"NO!"   
  
Sara took a breath and tried to calm herself.  
  
"I told you in Florida that I was on the pill. I wouldn't do that to you. Neither of us is ready for a baby."  
  
Grissom thought that he would be relieved but to his surprise his first reaction was one of disappointment.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Christ Gil, it's been nearly three months since we were in Florida, don't you think that I would know and would have told you by now? What made you even think it?"  
  
Grissom did not want Eckle brought up, so he used the bout of food poisoning as his start.  
  
"The way Catherine told me that you were ill with that stomach bug."  
  
Sara looked exasperated.  
  
"She implied that it was something other than a stomach bug?"  
  
Grissom smiled briefly in agreement.  
  
"Figures. She asked me straight-out after I'd thrown up. Was it 'the guy I met in Florida?'"  
  
Sara looked at Grissom strangely.  
  
"Just how long have you been wondering about this?"  
  
Grissom sighed.  
  
"I had just asked Catherine outright when Nicky came in and told us that you'd been shot. It was the worst moment of my life, bar none."  
  
Sara got up from her chair, went around the table and put her arms around him.  
  
Grissom pulled her on to his lap.  
  
Sara looked him in the eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"I know. It wasn't your fault."  
  
They held each other in silence, taking comfort from each other.  
  
Grissom stirred.  
  
"Are you certain that you're not pregnant?"  
  
Sara nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I've had two...er..."   
  
She stopped suddenly and thought it odd that she felt embarrassed discussing this with him considering how intimately they knew each other now.  
  
Grissom smirked at her expression.  
  
"You can say 'periods' you know. I won't run screaming from the room."   
  
Sara's look was sarcastic.  
  
"Thank you so much. Yes, two of them. Although - "  
  
  
  
She broke off, looking uncertain.  
  
Grissom prompted her.  
  
  
  
"Although - what?"  
  
"It's probably nothing. I thought that it was because of the pill, but they were a lot lighter than usual."  
  
They looked at each other, both mildly alarmed.  
  
Grissom stood up, putting Sara on her feet.  
  
"I think we'd better go visit the pharmacy."  
  
He looked for his jacket, found it, slipped it on and had picked up the Tahoe's keys before he realised that Sara was still standing where he had left her.  
  
Their eyes met, hers large with stunned comprehension.  
  
"You mean...? But it's not possible! I'm on the pill! I took them all and correctly. I haven't been sick or had a stomach upset or any of the usual reasons that the pill fails and I - "  
  
  
  
Grissom crossed the room back to Sara as her speech got faster and higher.  
  
He gently but firmly took hold of her upper arms.  
  
"Sara, shhh. Remember to breathe. Stop panicking. We'll just get a kit and put your mind at rest. It will be okay."  
  
"That's easy for you to say - it won't be you getting sick and fat and...and...everything!"  
  
Grissom didn't make the mistake of laughing or even smiling. He just pulled Sara into his arms and held her. She was shaking.  
  
"Whatever happens it will be okay. We'll be in it together."  
  
Grissom was surprised to realise that he truly believed it himself. Whatever happened, they would work it out.  
  
He lifted his head so that he could look Sara in the face.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
She nodded, white-faced.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
At Sara's request Grissom drove to a pharmacy further away than the one he used regularly. He was known for his migraine prescription at his local one and Sara didn't want anyone who knew Grissom to see him buying the kit.  
  
They went in together and stood looking at all the different kits. It was a new experience for Grissom and he was quite fascinated by the range available. He picked up and put down several kits as he looked for the one he wanted.   
  
Sara just wanted the cheapest and quickest and wanted him to use cash so that it wouldn't show up on a receipt with his name on it.  
  
She picked up one and looked at the price.  
  
"Jeez! Look at the price of these damn things!"  
  
Her fierce scandalised whisper made Grissom look at her with a smirk.  
  
"Antibodies are not cheap to produce, although they are getting better. You should see the invoice for reagents in the Lab."  
  
Grissom picked out the kit he wanted and showed it to Sara.  
  
She scowled.   
  
He bought it.  
  
Twenty minutes later they were both seated back at the dining table.  
  
The pregnancy test box was on the table between them. It was unopened.  
  
Grissom looked from the kit to Sara.  
  
"You know, call me old fashioned, but I'm fairly certain that you have to use the kit rather than just glare at it."  
  
"Fine! You go pee on the stick."  
  
Grissom raised his eyebrows.  
  
"If I thought it would help."  
  
He reached out to have another look at the kit but Sara snatched it up. She quickly opened it and tossed everything but the instructions back on the table.  
  
Grissom looked at the kit contents while Sara muttered through the instructions.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Grissom looked up from the foil wrapped 'stick' at Sara's pronouncement.  
  
  
  
Sara looked at the stick. She looked at Grissom.   
  
He handed her the packet.  
  
They both stood up and Sara looked alarmed.  
  
"Where are you going? 'Cause, y'know, I pee solo."  
  
Grissom hid a smile.  
  
"I remember." He pointed at the kitchen bar. "I was going to put some coffee on while we wait."  
  
"Oh...sorry. Nervous, I guess."  
  
Sara twirled a strand of her hair around her finger as she met his eyes and saw only sympathy in them.  
  
"Me too."  
  
She thought that he was hiding it a lot better than she was.  
  
As Sara retreated to the bathroom, Grissom walked over to the percolator to put the coffee on.  
  
It wasn't until he measured out the grounds that he realised his hands were shaking.  
  
A few minutes later Sara reappeared.  
  
Grissom turned at the sound of her footsteps and looked at her ashen face as she seated herself at the table again. She placed her watch on the table.  
  
He brought two mugs of coffee to the table, placing one beside Sara, then he pulled out a chair and sat next to her. He took her ice cold hand in his and was grateful when she squeezed his hand momentarily.  
  
Neither of them drank any coffee as the minute hand swept round on Sara's watch.  
  
She turned to Grissom and her voice sounded loud to both of them.  
  
"Time's up."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
TBC. 


	7. The Holiday Assignment 7

Disclaimer: C.S.I. still not owned by me (now that IS criminal). Characters borrowed and returned reasonably intact.  
  
Author's note: Nearly done now. This is so much fun it's probably illegal. Thank you for your reviews, email, and encouragement. Huge thanks to Billy and Jorja for bringing the characters to life - and for not suing me!! Lordy, I'd just die if I thought they read stuff on the net:)   
  
The Holiday Assignment (7)  
  
"Hey Gil, wait up!"  
  
Grissom halted in the doorway of his office at the sound of Catherine's voice.  
  
He turned around and saw the vivacious blonde hurrying towards him. He had only just arrived at work and had yet to stow his briefcase in his office or sort out the assignments for tonight. He was not late, but not as early as he had wanted to be this evening.   
  
"Problem?"  
  
Catherine looked him over and thought that the week off appeared to have done him some good. She, like Warrick and Nick, had known that Grissom had been looking after Sara during her sick leave, but no one else knew. It had been agreed that all concerned should act as if Grissom being on holiday and Sara being off sick had been two coincidental but separate incidents.   
  
"No, just wanted to catch up with you, fill you in on this last week here. Y'know, bring you up to speed."  
  
"Come on in."  
  
Grissom put his briefcase down and glanced briefly at the mail on his desk before moving it to one side and sitting in his desk chair.  
  
Catherine had followed Grissom into his office and closed the door behind her. She took a chair and looked at him.  
  
"How is Sara?"  
  
'Trust Catherine to cut to the chase.' Grissom thought, allowing some of his amusement to show.  
  
"Fine. She'll be in shortly, they had some paperwork for her downstairs."  
  
Catherine was pleased to see that Grissom didn't flinch or close up at the mention of Sara's name. Obviously the week together had enabled them to straighten out some of their issues. She had been worried that Gil's uncharacteristic behaviour towards Sara in the hospital might have been a temporary aberration and that they'd be back to square one upon their return to work.  
  
Catherine grinned widely at Grissom but didn't say anything.   
  
"What?"  
  
Grissom tried for baffled innocence but Catherine wasn't buying it, she'd known him too long.   
  
She lowered her voice.  
  
"C'mon, 'fess up. How did it go last week?"  
  
Grissom wasn't surprised that Catherine had asked so directly. He had not forgotten her role in the Florida holiday set up, and as a direct consequence, the situation that he now found himself in.  
  
He and Sara had discussed on Saturday what they would tell Catherine, Nick and Warrick.  
  
"It was interesting."  
  
Catherine sat up from her comfortable slouch and looked at him.  
  
"What? What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Grissom grinned at her expression.  
  
"What do you think it means?"  
  
Catherine was taken aback at the positively playful tone of Grissom's voice.  
  
"I'm not certain, but I think I'm going to like it."  
  
Her tone was wary, as if she thought that this might be a trap.  
  
"Relax, I'm not going to kill you."   
  
The emphasis that Grissom placed on the sentence implied that someone else might want to do the job.  
  
"Oh, funny. So you guys moving in together? Got engaged? Got married? Any of the above?"  
  
Grissom smirked.  
  
"None of the above. But - " Grissom continued before Catherine could interject, "we have decided to give it a go."  
  
Catherine looked blank.  
  
"Give what a go? You just ruled out everything!"  
  
Grissom gave her a pseudo pity look.  
  
"We're going to date."  
  
There was possibly twenty seconds of complete silence before Catherine started to laugh. Every time she looked at Grissom's face she laughed harder, until there were tears running down her face.  
  
Grissom let the laughter run its course and moved his box of tissues closer to Catherine's side of the desk. The corner of his mouth quirked upwards.  
  
She took a tissue from the box and wiped her eyes as her laughter finally subsided.  
  
"I'm sorry, that was just so funny. My God, you really mean it, don't you?"  
  
"Yes, I do. Having Sara over for a week was a salutary lesson that neither of us will forget, so we're going to..." here he smiled unexpectedly "...get used to the idea gradually."  
  
Catherine would have given a lot to have been a fly on that wall last week.   
  
"Well, good for you. This is amazing. Good luck to you both. I promise not to breathe a word. Are you going to tell Nicky and Warrick?"  
  
"Just you three for now. The less that know for sure, the less that have to cover themselves. I'm not comfortable with that aspect of this, as you know. But, we're looking at a bigger picture."   
  
He glanced at his watch and picked up their assignment sheets. He'd sort them on the way.  
  
Catherine smiled at Grissom, genuinely happy for him. They both stood up prior to leaving for the break room.   
  
"Congrats, it's about time."  
  
She gave him a hug, one of the few people who could get away with it.  
  
They left Grissom's office and both turned in the direction of the break room, Catherine bringing Grissom up to speed as she had promised.  
  
As they turned in to the main corridor Sara rounded the corner at the other end.  
  
Her glance met Grissom's and their eyes locked. For Grissom time suddenly seemed to drop into slow motion as he watched her walking towards him.   
  
He was instantly back at his dining table on Saturday afternoon, seated beside Sara, both of them waiting while her watch counted down the seconds.  
  
She had turned to him and said, "Time's up."  
  
They had both stared at each other, neither one knowing which of them was going to go and look at the test result.  
  
Grissom licked his dry lips.  
  
"You want me to go?"  
  
Sara shook her head.  
  
"You want to go?"  
  
Sara shook her head again.  
  
"Well, one of has to go sooner or later."  
  
Grissom stood up and took Sara's other hand as well. He gently pulled her upright.  
  
"We'll go together. Moral support."  
  
Sara nodded, but before she moved she looked at him.  
  
"Gil, I gotta tell you now, before we go in there. If it is positive, I know in my heart that it's the wrong time for us to be parents..."  
  
Grissom's heart sank. He didn't want to think what she might be implying, but it had to be her decision. He had to be there for her, no matter what.  
  
"...but I won't terminate this pregnancy, even if I have to go it alone."  
  
Sara looked both sick and defiant; as if worried that she'd have a fight on her hands.  
  
Grissom smile gently, his obvious relief reassuring her as much as his words.  
  
"Don't worry, whatever you decide, you won't be alone."  
  
"Okay then. Let's go."  
  
Sara squared her shoulders, as if for battle.  
  
They crossed the room together and entered the bathroom. Their reflections walked towards them in the mirror and it looked like four people converging on the test stick on the back of the sink.  
  
Sara picked it up and quickly handed it straight to Grissom without looking at it.  
  
He looked at the test window and then double-checked the instructions that he had brought with him.  
  
He looked at Sara, his eyes wide with shock.  
  
"Hi, Mommy."  
  
"What?"  
  
Grissom snapped back to the present at Catherine's startled exclamation.  
  
"What?" He prayed that he hadn't said 'Hi, Mommy' aloud.  
  
Catherine looked at him, not sure enough of what she'd heard - or thought she'd heard.  
  
"You just say something?"  
  
Grissom looked at her with his 'baffled boffin' look.  
  
"No I didn't. You alright?"  
  
Quick counterattack - always throws them off.  
  
Catherine looked searchingly at him again, but let it drop. She preceded Grissom in to the break room and missed his little smirk to Sara, who had just caught up with them.  
  
Grissom stepped aside from the doorway, and once the others turned and saw Sara as well, there were a few minutes of welcome and teasing commiseration for both of them returning to work.  
  
"Okay people, before we start."  
  
Grissom had their attention.  
  
"At the end of shift tonight there will be a very short meeting in my office. I won't keep you very long, but I'd appreciate it if you would be there."  
  
Both Warrick and Nick noticed that neither of the women seemed surprised about the meeting. Warrick met Catherine's gaze but she gave nothing away. Sara was looking down at her hands in her lap, having only briefly glanced at Grissom during his announcement.  
  
"Okay. Catherine and Warrick, you have a DB found at the bottle recycling plant. Nick, you are solo tonight with a break in at a Japanese restaurant - apparently someone who dislikes sushi decided to liberate all the fish in the tank."  
  
"Cool."   
  
Grissom handed the two slips out, leaving himself with one.  
  
"Sara, you're with me. We have a hold up with a difference at a convenience store."  
  
Sara didn't know whether to be pleased at finally being partnered with Grissom, or miffed that she didn't get the DB.  
  
"A difference?"  
  
"Store owner swears it was a monkey."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
When everyone dispersed for his or her various assignments, Grissom walked back to his office to collect his kit.  
  
Five minutes later Sara stuck her head inside Grissom's office. She was amused to see that he had resisted the urge put up any Christmas decorations.  
  
"Ready when you are."  
  
Grissom looked up from where he was seated in his desk. His eyes crinkled slightly as he looked at Sara and smiled.  
  
"Come in, I won't be a minute, just finishing this off."  
  
Sara stepped fully into the office, closing the door without shutting it completely and seated herself in the chair closest to Grissom.  
  
He followed her with his gaze.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Sara grinned at him, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.  
  
"Depends who's asking."  
  
Her throaty whisper sent shivers down Grissom's spine and his lips hooked up at one side in appreciation. He thought for a very brief moment about reminding her of their agreed upon rule about 'not at work', but it was only a very brief moment.  
  
"What are my options?"  
  
"Supervisor Grissom, Mr. Jones or Gil."  
  
Grissom appeared to contemplate his choices a while longer.  
  
"Mmm, tough one. Supervisor Grissom."   
  
He looked at her to see her reaction.  
  
She wondered if it was a subtle warning.  
  
"I'm fine thank you, Grissom."  
  
"Mr. Jones?"  
  
Sara leaned across towards him and lowered her voice.  
  
"I haven't seen you in ages, but since you ask, I'm well."  
  
Grissom allowed a small smile to escape.  
  
"And for Gil?"  
  
Sara smirked as she stood up and picked up her case.  
  
"Ah, well, when I see Gil I'll tell him myself."  
  
"I'm sure he'd appreciate that. If I see him I'll let you know."  
  
"You do that...Grissom."  
  
Grissom also stood up and collected his crime scene kit. He was reassured that Sara knew the boundaries that should be in place at work. He was pleased that the ease that they had discovered on holiday appeared to have returned to them in the workplace. They would have to take the non-workplace matters one day at a time.  
  
They left his office and headed out to their SUV.  
  
They had to see a man about a monkey.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Warrick drove the Tahoe with his customary caution and Catherine double-checked her seatbelt as they swung around a corner and straightened out on the main road to the bottle recycling plant.   
  
"So what's the heads up on this meeting at the end of shift?"  
  
Catherine didn't answer immediately. She figured that Gil wouldn't mind if she paved the way. It wasn't as if Warrick hadn't been in on it almost from the beginning.  
  
"He and Sara are together."  
  
Warrick looked at Catherine for a long second then returned his gaze to the road.  
  
"Cool. So the plan worked. I'm assuming that it will be unofficial?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure. He's only going to tell Nicky, you and me. Although there is nothing on paper about relationships at work between Supervisors and lower grades, Grissom isn't comfortable with the idea. He figures that if they fewer people know the better, not for his sake but for Sara's."  
  
Warrick nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I get that. I hope it works out."  
  
"Me too. It'll be hard for the both of them."  
  
"You got that right."  
  
Warrick glanced at Catherine and saw that she was looking out of the passenger window. They were not in the same tricky position as Sara and Grissom.  
  
'One thing at a time.' He thought.  
  
Anything worth having was worth waiting for.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Two hours later Sara and Grissom were on their way back to base. They had viewed and collected the CCTV footage of the robbery and to their surprise the storeowner had been telling the truth. A monkey had committed the hold up.  
  
Sara was still smiling.  
  
"I confess even for Vegas I find that odd."  
  
Grissom looked quickly at her before returning his concentration to the road.  
  
"The chimpanzee or its tutu?"  
  
Sara looked at his profile with a grin.  
  
"Oh, both definitely."  
  
"I suspect it's from a circus. We might be able to track down the owner. We've got DNA to identify the chimp."  
  
"Can the chimp be arrested?"  
  
"No, but the owner can if he trained the chimp to steal."  
  
Sara looked at Grissom.  
  
"Can we prove that?"  
  
"Possibly not. But we can backtrack the circus/owner and find out if this has happened before."  
  
"I'll get right on it as soon as we get back."  
  
Grissom drove in silence for a few minutes. When he next glanced at Sara he thought she looked pale but it was difficult to tell with the little light that was available.  
  
"You okay? You're quiet."  
  
Sara turned the air vent towards her face.  
  
"It's probably psychosomatic, but ever since Saturday I've felt a little 'off'. I just need some air."  
  
Grissom shot her a look of concern.  
  
"I can pull over if you need to stop."  
  
"Nah, I'll be fine in a minute."  
  
Grissom wondered if she had sorted out a doctor yet.  
  
"Have you chosen an OB/GYN yet?"  
  
Sara swung round to face Grissom in surprise. Had he been reading up?  
  
"No, I'll do it later, when I get in."  
  
"Make sure that you do."  
  
Sara could hear the smile in his voice.  
  
"Yessir!"  
  
Sara grinned as she responded. She was getting used to Gil's gentle fussing. He kept it light enough to make her feel cherished rather than claustrophobic.  
  
Grissom thought about Sara going back to her place. He was still not happy about it even though they had discussed it after they had recovered from the initial shock of the test's result.  
  
He didn't think that he would ever forget the expression on her face when he had said 'Hi Mommy'. Having said that, he would have been interested in seeing his own reaction. The word 'mixed' came to mind.  
  
Sara's face had been incredulous and she had snatched the stick out of his hand, checking the result for herself.  
  
"But that's impossible."  
  
Now her face mirrored her disbelief.  
  
"I'm willing to bet that's one of the top three responses to a positive pregnancy test."  
  
"How can you joke about such a thing?"  
  
Grissom realised that he'd been tactless, but he was still in shock himself and had spoken without thinking.  
  
"I wasn't joking. But I didn't say it to upset you."  
  
Sara sat down on the edge of the bath. She looked again at the stick in the vain hope that it had changed in the few seconds since she had looked at it.  
  
"This is a disaster."  
  
Grissom may have privately agreed with her in some small part but he was still hurt that she'd said it aloud and it showed on his face.  
  
He sat down on the closed lid of the toilet and sighed. Before he could speak Sara looked at him and touched his arm.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean the baby was a disaster, I meant that the timing of it was."  
  
Grissom could hear the sincerity in her voice and he appreciated the fact that she'd clarified her comment.   
  
"Thank you." He looked her over and took her free hand in his.  
  
"Now that we know for sure, what do you want to do?"  
  
Sara's head snapped up.  
  
"I meant what I said out there."  
  
"I didn't doubt it then, I don't doubt it now. I asked you what you wanted to do."  
  
"Lord, I don't know. I've never been in this position before."  
  
"Me neither."  
  
At his rueful tone Sara had to smile.  
  
"I'm glad to hear it."  
  
Grissom searched her face.  
  
"Do you still want to go back to your place?"  
  
Sara looked back at him.  
  
"My reasons still stand, perhaps even more so now. You need this."  
  
"Will you at least stay tonight? I want you to be here with me."  
  
In truth Sara didn't want to go at all but if she and Gil were going to be together in the long run, she had to let him go first. She would start tomorrow.  
  
"Yes. I want to be with you too. In every sense of the word."  
  
Grissom looked a little startled at the switch of subject.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Well, look on the bright side. We don't have to worry about me getting pregnant."  
  
He didn't have an answer for that.  
  
Sara had kept to her word and he had taken her back to her place on the Sunday evening. He had been torn. He wanted to be alone but he had not wanted her to leave.  
  
Sunday night alone in his bed for the first time in a week, he found himself reaching out for her in the night and waking when he realised that she was not there.  
  
Lying awake at three in the morning he discovered that he missed having her in his arms. It had been a revelation.  
  
"Grissom?"  
  
He turned to look at Sara in the passenger seat.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You were miles away. You okay?"  
  
"Fine."   
  
He noted where they were and it looked like he had driven for at least a couple of miles without being as aware as he should have been. They still had a few minutes yet before their arrival at work.  
  
"How do you feel about Saturday's news?"  
  
Sara looked at him in surprise. So that's where he had been.   
  
"In what respect?"  
  
Grissom shrugged.  
  
"Any respect. You've had a couple of days to think about it."  
  
Sara gave the question some serious thought.  
  
"Still shocked. Guilty because the pill failed. Unprepared because I hadn't planned for this eventuality at this stage in my life. Stunned because a lot of women wonder if they can conceive at all. And a sense of relief, I guess."  
  
Grissom looked at her quickly.  
  
"Why relief?"  
  
Sara looked at him.  
  
"Because if it had to happen at all, then I'm glad that it was with you."  
  
Grissom didn't know what to say. Yet again she had made him feel so special. His lips twitched into a smile without conscious thought.  
  
Sara turned in her seat to face him.  
  
"How do you feel about the pregnancy?"  
  
"Shocked...guilty, unprepared, stunned but mostly relieved."  
  
Sara had started to smile as Grissom went through the list until she was grinning.  
  
"Relieved because?"  
  
Grissom smirked.  
  
"If it had to happen with anyone, then I'm glad that it was with you."  
  
Sara laughed aloud, swatting his right arm without force.  
  
"Oh, how original. That's so sweet."  
  
Grissom tried - and failed - to look modest.  
  
"Thank you. I try."  
  
"Yeah, very trying!" Sara retorted, laughing.  
  
Grissom pulled into the CSI parking lot and found a space. He turned the engine off and released his seatbelt at the same time as Sara.  
  
  
  
They looked at each other, just sharing a moment.  
  
"We'd better go before someone wonders what we're doing sitting in here."  
  
"Yes boss."  
  
Sara hopped out of the SUV and went around to collect her case from the back. Grissom collected his and locked the vehicle.   
  
They turned as one and went in to the building.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Nick had showered twice already and still could not get rid of the fishy smell. His disappearing sushi case looked like being a rivalry thing and he had some good solid leads.  
  
He combed his hair and added some more deodorant to his chest in the vain hope of at least partially covering the odour. If he didn't hurry he would miss Grissom's pow-wow.   
  
He threw everything back in his locker and shut the door. He shouldered into a clean T-shirt and left the locker room.  
  
He headed for Grissom's office and found that everyone was there already.  
  
Grissom looked up.  
  
"Nick. Glad you could join us."  
  
Nick paused momentarily in the doorway, wondering if Grissom was being sarcastic. He wasn't sure so he gave the man the benefit of the doubt.  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that. Had to shower again."  
  
Catherine's nose crinkled.  
  
"You've showered?"  
  
Her tone indicated profound disbelief.  
  
Nick frowned as he looked around the office. Everyone looked discomforted to some extent except of course Grissom. Sara actually looked white.  
  
"Yeah. Twice."  
  
Nick sat down and his tone indicated that the discussion was closed.  
  
"Try lemons."   
  
Grissom had their attention again.  
  
He wondered briefly if he should have had this meeting in a more informal setting but it was too late to worry now.  
  
"The reason I have asked you here is to pass on some information first hand rather than wait for the rumour mill to catch up. I'd appreciate it if you treat this as private and keep it to yourselves."  
  
Grissom paused, knowing what he wanted to say went against his principles and he was having difficulty getting it out until he looked at Sara and it became easy again.  
  
He opened his mouth to speak but never got chance.  
  
Catherine tutted loudly.  
  
"What he's trying to say is that he and Sara are an item."  
  
She looked at everyone and no one looked surprised except Sara and Grissom. Catherine was amused that they had even thought for a moment that the rest of them hadn't figured it out already. Even Greg and Brass had.  
  
"Okay, we're fine with that. Anything else?"  
  
Grissom shook his head, looking bemused.  
  
Sara shook her head.  
  
Catherine beamed, reaching under her chair.  
  
"Great. Bearing in mind we're all driving, I have a little bottle of fizz to mark the occasion. Sorry there's no crystal, but hey, given no notice!!"  
  
She produced a bottle of champagne and five plastic cups as everyone laughed.  
  
Catherine poured out the drinks for a toast and Nick picked up one to hand to Sara. She leaned over to take the cup and got a nose full of the smell of rotting fish.   
  
She clasped her hand over her nose and mouth in a belated attempt to stop the smell getting to her but it was too late. She hurriedly took a sip of her drink to push the nausea back down. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her top lip.  
  
Nick looked at her in dismay.  
  
"Gee, sorry Sara, I didn't realise that it was that bad."  
  
Sara gave him the big fake smile that she normally used to prevent her gag reflex but it didn't work as well as usual.  
  
"No problem."  
  
Which might have been more believable if she had not immediately hurried out of the room with her hand over her mouth.  
  
Grissom looked at the door and Sara's fleeing figure while the others looked at Nick. He looked apologetic.  
  
"Really, I had no idea it was that bad."  
  
Grissom put down his drink and started for the door.  
  
Catherine stopped him.  
  
"I'll go. The day shift have started arriving and I don't think they'd be too happy with you in the Ladies."  
  
Grissom saw the wisdom of her advice but wanted to help Sara. He hesitated, and Catherine took it as his acquiescence.   
  
She turned to Warrick and Nick and acknowledged them with her drink.  
  
"If I'm not back shortly, I'll see you guys tomorrow night. Gil, later."  
  
Grissom nodded and reluctantly seated himself back at his desk.  
  
Sara made it to the toilets without running into anyone from the dayshift. Getting away from Nick had helped but not in time to stop her from losing her last meal.  
  
Catherine found her a few minutes later at the 'dry heaves' stage.  
  
"Sara, it's me." She noted that only one cubicle was in use. "Can I get you anything?"  
  
There was a long pause before Sara replied.  
  
"No, s'okay."  
  
Catherine checked that all the other stalls to make sure that they were alone.  
  
She heard the sound of the toilet flushing and Sara appeared, smoothing her hair behind her ears. She smiled in Catherine's direction but avoided eye contact as she rinsed out her mouth and washed her hands.  
  
"Grissom was all set to follow you in here."  
  
Catherine sounded amused.  
  
Sara grimaced down at her hands.  
  
"Just taking his 'boyfriend duties' seriously I guess."  
  
Catherine stood with her hands on her hips and looked at Sara's reflection in the mirror.  
  
"Does he know?"  
  
Sara involuntarily met the other woman's gaze in the mirror.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Catherine snorted in a most unladylike manner.  
  
"Don't try to kid a kidder. Have you told him that you're pregnant?"  
  
Sara's shoulders slumped in defeat. She saw no point in denying it, they'd figure it out soon enough. They only had to look at her bust for a start.  
  
"Actually no. He told me."  
  
She looked a little sheepish.  
  
Catherine grinned.  
  
"That I would have loved to see. How did he take it?"  
  
"Better than I did."  
  
"I'll bet. What are you going to do?"  
  
Sara wiped her hands slowly.  
  
"Have it. Worry later, when I've got used to the idea."  
  
"Been there." Catherine blew air out in sympathy. "If you need to talk you know where I am. You okay for now?"  
  
Sara nodded and threw her paper towel in the trash.  
  
Catherine looked at her and nodded.  
  
"Your colour is better. Get some saltines on the way home, keep them handy. They'll help with the nausea."  
  
"Okay."  
  
As they turned to leave Catherine halted Sara with a hand on her arm.  
  
"Just so you know, Eckle confronted Gil after you threw up that Chinese meal. Remember there was that woman who saw you? Eckle told him that you were pregnant and tore him off a strip for not reporting you himself. So, I'm afraid the cat's out of the bag already."  
  
"What?! Oh, great. Does everyone know?  
  
"They suspect. It was Nicky that told us about the gossip, though to be fair neither he nor Warrick believed the rumour."  
  
Catherine smiled at the memory of Eckle's face.  
  
"That's how the coffee pot got smashed again. Gil knocked it out of his hands on his way to knocking his face."  
  
Sara smiled despite her dismay. Gil went up to bat for her. Gotta love that guy.  
  
"Well, I'm not going to confirm or deny. They can wait and see."  
  
She looked down at her herself and then back at Catherine.  
  
"I guess they won't have to wait long."  
  
Back in Grissom's office the loss of the women had flattened the atmosphere slightly. No one seemed to want to refer to Sara's flight.  
  
Grissom kept looking at the door whilst trying not to look like he was anxious.   
  
Warrick shifted in his seat to look at Nick. Time for a diversion.  
  
"So Bro, how's it goin' with Helena?"  
  
Nick smiled his bashful gee-shucks grin.  
  
"Makin' progress. You can't rush these things."  
  
Warrick huffed in amused disbelief.  
  
"Yeah, right."  
  
Grissom watched the two of them bantering with some amusement.  
  
The name Helena was familiar. Oh yes, the woman at the hospital with the sharp eyes.  
  
"Let's hope she likes fish."  
  
His voice was dry and Warrick's grin widened.  
  
"Yeah man, try the lemons first. Don't want to make her sick. She turned you down before when you smelled okay!"  
  
Nick waved away Warrick's comment.  
  
"She mistakenly thought that I might be a pretty boy out for a good time."  
  
Grissom smiled and Warrick laughed outright.  
  
"Mr. Revolving door has been busted."  
  
"No, this one is different. She's not like the others."  
  
Both of the other men looked at him with surprise. He had sounded quite serious.   
  
Nick turned to Warrick with a sly grin.  
  
"Sometimes it just sparks across a room. Other times it kinda sneaks up on you with someone you've known for ages. Y'know what I mean?"  
  
Warrick shifted in his seat again, this time uneasily. He had not discussed his feelings for Catherine with anyone but now he wondered if he had been as obvious as Grissom had been about Sara.  
  
Grissom looked from Nick to Warrick and back. Had he been so caught up in his own situation that he had failed to notice anyone else's? Like Catherine had said, you work this close with people and you become part of an extended family.   
  
Nick was obviously not hinting about Sara so in their immediate group that only left Catherine. Grissom found himself thinking back over the last few months, and gathering clues as he went. If he hadn't have been so distracted by Sara he would probably have figured it out sooner.  
  
Catherine could do a lot worse. Warrick was a change from her usual type, but in his opinion that was no bad thing. He had his faults, but didn't they all?  
  
His musings were interrupted by the return of Catherine and Sara. Sara looked a lot better though still pale. Catherine gave him a very searching look as she entered the office and he wondered what they had talked about. As if he didn't know.  
  
Nick looked at Sara with apology but didn't try to get anywhere near her.  
  
"I'll get some lemons on the way home. Sorry Sara."  
  
Sara smiled to show that there were no hard feelings.  
  
"It's okay, it's not your fault."  
  
Grissom figured a distraction was called for. He picked up his plastic cup.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a toast."  
  
The others picked up their cups, too.  
  
"To new beginnings."  
  
The two younger men grinned and the two women assumed that he referred to Sara and himself.  
  
"New beginnings!" they all chorused.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom and Sara walked to their cars together. Until they left the building they were careful to only talk about work and work related matters. Once they got outside and moved away from the building they relaxed but didn't move into either of their personal space as they walked.  
  
"You want to come over?"  
  
Sara thought that it was only fair that she invited him over to hers occasionally.  
  
Grissom glanced at her in his usual fashion. No one watching them without hearing them would have thought that it was a private conversation.  
  
"I'd like that. What time?"  
  
"Whenever suits you. I'll wait breakfast until you arrive."  
  
Grissom smiled briefly.  
  
"I take it it's my turn to cook?"  
  
Sara smirked.  
  
"Oh yeah." She unlocked her car door. "I'll even let you wear a towel."  
  
Grissom grinned as he unlocked his car with the remote. He turned to face Sara across the hood of her SUV.  
  
"An hour?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"I'll be there."  
  
Grissom started to turn away.  
  
"Hey, Grissom."  
  
He turned back to Sara. She had a big grin on her face.  
  
With her body shielding them from the building they had just left she used ASL for 'I love you'.  
  
It took Grissom a moment to put it all together. Sara had learned at least some ASL and had used the romantic sense of 'I love you'. He realised that she was telling him in her own way that she would cope with whatever otosclerosis would throw at them and their child. His heart swelled with love and his eyes stung. He blinked rapidly.   
  
Without even bothering to look behind Sara he repeated the gesture back to her. He added 'see you soon' and, impossibly, her grin got even bigger as she moved to the driver's door.  
  
They got in their vehicles and drove off just as they would any other day.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
When Grissom got home to his townhouse he dropped his keys on the dining table as usual and looked around the large airy room. It seemed different somehow and he could not put his finger on why. He should have been feeling back to normal now that he was home alone but everything seemed slightly 'off'.   
  
He walked over to the kitchen and put some coffee on to percolate whilst he was in the shower. Anticipation about seeing Sara was beginning to thrum through him and it didn't cross his mind to think that he had seen her only twenty minutes ago.   
  
Fifteen minutes later he was wiping steam off the bathroom mirror so that he could shave properly. He had an electric razor somewhere but nothing beat a wet shave. He worked carefully until he'd completed a once around. As he turned his head left and right to check that he'd not missed anywhere and that he'd rinsed off all the shaving foam, he wondered what Sara would think if he grew a beard.   
  
A few minutes later, dressed and with a coffee in his hand, he went to check his e-  
  
mails. He skipped most of them for reading later and was pleased to see one from his mother. He opened that one and scanned through it quickly.   
  
'...and on the way back I thought I'd drop in to see you and catch up. If you'll be in on Friday the twelfth let me know that it will be convenient, love Mom.'  
  
Grissom glanced at the date on his computer. December ninth. Mom would be over this Friday. He sent a reply back confirming that Friday was fine. He found that he was smiling as he typed. He had an early Christmas present for her.  
  
Which also reminded him that he had to get something special for Sara for their first Christmas together as a couple.   
  
He found it extraordinary to think of the two of them as a couple after all this time. He waited for the uneasy feeling to go through him at the thought of such a commitment.   
  
It didn't happen.  
  
Grissom sat back in his chair in surprise. He suddenly realised what was 'off' with the townhouse - it was too quiet. Although he didn't know it, he was having a similar moment to the one that Sara had experienced the day that she had the holiday photographs processed.   
  
He looked at his watch. He had to make a quick stop on the way to Sara's and if he left now he would have time. Galvanised, he shut down his computer and rinsed out his coffee mug. It was still dripping by the time Grissom left the townhouse.  
  
Sara had a quick tidy through her place as soon as she got home, although she had hardly been here in the last ten days so it didn't need much. She opened a window to let the place air for a while. It was still relatively cool outside and the air smelled good.  
  
She boiled the kettle for ginger herbal tea. Gil had told her that ginger settled the stomach and might help when she was feeling sick. At this point she was willing to try anything. It was laughable calling it 'morning' sickness.   
  
Taking her tea with her, Sara entered the bathroom and started the shower running. She stripped off down to her underwear and stood in front of the mirror. She tried to see if there was any difference in her appearance yet. Her bra definitely seemed more full than she remembered. She moved the strap on her shoulder and frowned at the red mark left there. That didn't normally happen. She turned sideways to the mirror and was surprised to see a definite roundness to her belly that she was sure hadn't been there two weeks ago. She ran her hand over the skin trying to imagine what was going on inside her body.  
  
Sara wished that she didn't have such mixed feelings about the pregnancy. In the past whenever she had thought about having a family it had been a distant event for the remote future. Even when she hit thirty it hadn't made her think about a family. At that time Gil - the only man she had any thought about being with - did not have a clue about the two of them.   
  
She looked at herself again. It suddenly dawned on her that she was already a third of the way through this pregnancy. In about six months, give or take, she would have someone other than herself to be responsible for.  
  
"I am so not ready for this."  
  
She squared her shoulders and glared at herself in the mirror.  
  
"Then me and your Daddy are gonna have to get ready, aren't we?"  
  
She checked that the water was okay and finished stripping off. As she stepped under the shower she added,  
  
"Damn straight."  
  
Twenty minutes later Sara's hair was nearly dry when the doorbell went.  
  
She glanced at her watch and grinned. Right on time.  
  
She switched off the hairdryer and went to open the door.  
  
Gil was standing outside with one hand in his pants pocket. He was wearing a black V-neck T shirt under a dark grey suit and he looked fabulous.  
  
"Gee, if I'd known you were gonna dress up I would have made an effort."  
  
Grissom smiled as he stepped in to the apartment. He looked Sara and her silk kimono up and down and instead of going past her he put his arms around her and pulled her into a devastating kiss right there in the doorway.  
  
Sara was so surprised at his behaviour that she didn't respond at first. Then she got so caught up in the kiss that she wasn't thinking at all.  
  
His warm pliant lips were creating chaos within her. Her hands crawled up his front and clutched his shirt.   
  
When Gil finally ended the kiss Sara felt bereft. She opened her eyes and realised where she was. It took her a moment to find her voice.  
  
"Okay, what have you done with the real Gil Grissom?"  
  
Grissom ran a hand along Sara's arm, feeling the silk quickly warm under his touch.  
  
"I'm here. I just needed time, like you said."  
  
Sara looked at him and wondered if it could be that easy. She'd find out soon enough.  
  
"Well, come on in, the neighbours have seen enough I think."  
  
Grissom managed to look carefree and unconcerned.  
  
He turned and closed the door. When he turned back Sara was still standing beside him.  
  
"Not that I care what the neighbours think, you understand."   
  
Grissom smiled.  
  
"What neighbours?"  
  
Sara grinned, then pointed to his outfit.  
  
"Gorgeous or not it's still your turn to cook and those fancy duds will get ruined."  
  
Grissom smirked as he slid off the jacket and hung it on the back of a chair.  
  
"It's okay, I'll be the one wearing the towel."  
  
He pulled Sara towards him by the belt of her kimono, then undid it and found to his delight that she was naked underneath.  
  
By the time he was down to his boxers breakfast was clearly not at the forefront of his mind.  
  
Sara's grin got bigger as she hooked a finger in his waistband.  
  
"I'm assuming that you mean 'later'?"  
  
"Oh yes."  
  
"Oh good."  
  
It wasn't until much later that Grissom remembered his gift for Sara.  
  
They were lying in bed, drowsy from their lovemaking.  
  
Grissom was slightly propped up on a couple of pillows and Sara lay against his side, her head resting on her left hand. She could feel Grissom's hand stroking her arm lazily as her right hand rested on his chest.  
  
"I missed you."  
  
Sara looked at his face, so close to her own.  
  
"You were only gone an hour."  
  
Grissom smiled.  
  
"No, I missed you Sunday night. I woke up because you weren't in bed with me."  
  
"Missed me kicking you and stealing the quilt?"  
  
Sara was trying to make light of what Gil was saying so that she didn't get her hopes up just yet.  
  
"You only kicked me the once and it was cramp, so I forgave you very nicely if I remember correctly."  
  
Sara chuckled reminiscently.  
  
"Yeah, you did. Certainly took my mind off the cramp."  
  
"I have my uses."  
  
"That you do."  
  
Grissom realised that Sara had effectively steered him away from the conversation about missing her. He didn't blame her for having reservations about his readiness to move on to the next stage. Heaven knows he'd had them himself long enough.  
  
He shifted in Sara's embrace.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
Grissom leaned back and gave her a quick kiss as he slid out of the bed.  
  
"I've got something for you."  
  
Sara watched as he walked naked around the bed to the door.  
  
"You certainly have." She murmured under her breath.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
She grinned as he came back into the bedroom carrying a small jeweller's box.  
  
  
  
For a split second Sara felt a little panicked at the thought of an engagement ring. It was too soon to be thinking of such a thing. She still hadn't dealt with the pregnancy, let alone Gil's side of things.  
  
Then she relaxed. Gil wouldn't do that to them yet. It would be quite out of character and way too soon.  
  
Grissom got back into bed and they took up their embrace as if he'd never left.  
  
He handed Sara the box.   
  
"This is not a Christmas present, this is a gift from me to you. It's something I want you to have and I hope that you will keep it with you and use it often."  
  
Sara was intrigued. She looked at the box, then at Gil's face.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Grissom's lips twitched with amusement.  
  
"Some investigator you are. Open it."  
  
Sara opened the hinged lid of the box. Lying on a bed of crushed velvet was a key. Tied to it was a small neatly folded note.  
  
Sara sat up in bed and let the quilt fall to her waist. Grissom made a valiant effort not to be distracted by Sara's body. He did want to see her reaction. She picked up the key and carefully opened the note.  
  
She recognised Gil's handwriting.  
  
'Sara, with you beside me I am willing to explore life outside my comfort zone. It's not that I can't live without you, it's just that I don't want to. All my love, Gil.'  
  
It was a copy of the front door key to his townhouse. Sara couldn't speak through the lump in her throat. She just looked at him with shimmering eyes.  
  
Grissom looked uncertain for a moment, unsure if this silence was good or bad news.  
  
Sara's heart went out to him. She knew what it must have cost him to make the decision to give her access to his space.  
  
"Oh, Gil."  
  
Sara went in to his arms and her tears flowed unchecked.  
  
Grissom's arms tightened around her and he felt a cautious joy begin to bloom inside. He was smiling as he looked down at the top of Sara's head.  
  
"I'm assuming these are happy tears?"  
  
He felt her nod on his chest and felt no trepidation, only relief at her answer.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
When they eventually surfaced for breakfast, Grissom asked Sara what she fancied.  
  
At her pert retort he reminded her that she'd already had that, and more than once, and he was actually talking about food. She chose pancakes and fruit, which would be her favourite breakfast from now on.   
  
At least, it would be when she could keep it down.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Tuesday night at work Grissom - with Sara's permission - told Catherine that he had given Sara a key to his townhouse.   
  
Her amused reply had been a very dry 'my baby's all growd up'.  
  
It wasn't until later he realised that she hadn't been surprised.  
  
The following night at work Catherine informed everyone on the night shift that she was having a small impromptu party at her place on Saturday night just for the hell of it. If anyone thought that it might look like a non-engagement party for Sara and Grissom they were smart enough not to mention it.  
  
Sara and Grissom continued to drive to and from work in two vehicles, but if anyone had bothered to follow them they would have found both vehicles parked in the spaces allocated to Grissom at his place.   
  
The first time that Sara went home before Grissom and let herself into the townhouse felt strange but 'right'. It was Friday morning and Grissom had some last minute paperwork to do to ensure that he was clear to have Saturday off to take Sara to Catherine's party.  
  
Sara went into the bedroom with every intention of just changing out of her work clothes. She sat down on the edge of the bed to remove her shoes - her sense of balance was off - but then lay back. It was sinfully comfortable and smelled deliciously just like Gil. She turned over onto her side to put her face to his pillow and with hardly a moments pause she was fast asleep.  
  
When Grissom arrived home half an hour later than Sara did, he wondered where she had got to when she didn't appear as soon as he opened the front door.  
  
He put down his jacket and his briefcase on the couch, then checked the bathroom.  
  
When she wasn't there, he went to the bedroom and found her fast asleep on the bed. He smiled at the picture she made. He gently pulled the quilt up over her then shut the blinds and drapes at the window.  
  
He undressed quietly and slipped under the quilt beside Sara. Within minutes she unconsciously became aware of him and turned towards him in her sleep, draping an arm possessively across his chest. He smiled again. He was home.  
  
Breakfast could wait.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
TBC.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
For those of you who like your happy endings nice and simple, you should stop here. For those of you who think happy endings should also include a box of tissues and serious chocolate poisoning, tune in to chapter eight. You have been warned!! 


	8. The holiday assignment 8

Disclaimer: C.S.I. not owned by me, more's the pity.   
  
Author's notes: It's been fun, I've had a great time and I hope that you have too. Thank you from the bottom, sides and top of my heart for your reviews and support.   
  
Thanks also to those of you who emailed me directly, you know who you are, if you hadn't bothered I wouldn't have either!!  
  
Rating: R  
  
The Holiday Assignment (8)  
  
Grissom didn't bother to set his alarm so they slept for several hours until Sara surfaced long enough to realise that she was still wearing her pants. Only half awake she took them off, dropped them on the floor, and then fell back to sleep for a few more hours.  
  
Grissom woke up, not entirely certain what it was that had disturbed him. He tried to focus on his watch but without his glasses he couldn't see the time. He was about to look at his clock when he heard the doorbell. He wondered if it had been the bell that had awakened him.  
  
He suddenly remembered that his Mom was coming over today.  
  
He quickly got out of the bed and found his robe.  
  
"Sara, wake up honey, someone's at the door."  
  
Sara gave a grumpy moan and pulled the quilt over her head. Grissom was reasonably certain that she was not awake.  
  
The doorbell went again for longer this time and was followed by knocking.  
  
Grissom hurried to the door, tying his belt as he went. He opened the door to see his mother standing there. She looked dismayed.  
  
"Oh, darling, I woke you up!"  
  
Grissom smiled as he stepped back for his mother to enter the house. He made sure that he faced her when he spoke to her.  
  
"No, it's okay, don't worry."  
  
They hugged and Grissom was given a kiss on his cheek. He took his mother's coat, and hung it up before they moved to the couch.  
  
The elder Grissom regarded the younger and smiled.  
  
"I don't know what it is, but something's obviously agreeing with you."  
  
Grissom inclined his head and gave his mother a smile that was almost bashful.  
  
"I've got a surprise for you."  
  
Just at that moment Sara came flying out of the bedroom wearing only a T-shirt and panties, with her hand over her mouth. She shot into the bathroom and the door slammed behind her. The sound of retching made Grissom wince.  
  
His mother looked at him, her eyebrows raised.  
  
" Colour me 'surprised'."  
  
Twenty minutes later, Grissom had dressed, made coffee for himself and his mother and had taken Sara clean clothes and a soft drink to the bathroom.  
  
Sara was upset.  
  
"I wanted to make an impression on your mom."  
  
Grissom contained his mirth to a small twitch of his lips.  
  
"You certainly did that."  
  
Sara glared at him.  
  
"This is not funny."  
  
Grissom allowed a small smile to escape.  
  
"Yes, it is, and in a little while you'll find it funny too."  
  
Sara sighed. She looked forlornly at Grissom.  
  
"What did you tell her?"  
  
Grissom's eyes twinkled.  
  
"I had just told her that I had a surprise for her when you made your entrance. She conceded that she was indeed surprised. I have not told her about the baby, but I should think she's already putting two and two together."  
  
"What does she know about us?"  
  
"Do you mean how far back? I may have mentioned you from time to time in 'Frisco. She will certainly recognise your name."   
  
"As your student?"  
  
Grissom shook his head.  
  
"I kept that to myself out of self preservation. Mom knows of the Sara from the 'Frisco lab., and that you came out here for the internal investigation over Holly Gribb's death."  
  
"Okay. Give me a minute and I'll come out."  
  
"Don't worry, she doesn't bite until she gets to know you."  
  
Sara smiled a little.  
  
"Gil, do you think she'll like me?"  
  
"Yes. And what's more, when she knows that I love you, she will too."  
  
Sara hoped so.  
  
"Does your Mom use ASL or lip-read?"  
  
"Both. She lip-reads by preference, but sometimes when she's tired or she's with someone else who is also deaf she'll use ASL. She didn't lose her hearing until she was an adult, so she can speak normally."  
  
"Oh. It's just that I've only learnt the alphabet and a few of the more common phrases, so - "  
  
Grissom interrupted.  
  
"You'll be fine. I'm impressed that you've picked it up so quickly."  
  
Sara looked at Grissom with gratitude.  
  
"Thanks. Okay, I'll be out shortly."  
  
  
  
Grissom left the bathroom and returned to the main room. His mother looked up from the couch with concern.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
Grissom smiled.  
  
"Much better now. Embarrassed more than anything else. Wanted to make a good impression."  
  
"Darling, you are forty six years old. If you have finally found the right woman to be with you then it doesn't matter what impression I have, I'll still give her a medal."  
  
Grissom laughed aloud.  
  
"Thanks Mom. I thought you'd given up years ago."  
  
His mother looked at him with a grin that knocked years off her.  
  
"Well, reading between the lines, you did get my hopes up a little when you started not talking about Sara Sidle all those years ago. That was when I figured that she'd knocked you for six."  
  
Grissom gaped in shock.  
  
"You knew?"  
  
"I knew before you did. Unfortunately, I also knew that nothing would come of it, neither of you were ready. I was sorry that I never met her."  
  
Grissom's shock was replaced by amusement again.  
  
"You just did. That was Sara."  
  
Now it was his mother's turn to be surprised.  
  
"Sara from San Francisco?"  
  
Grissom nodded.  
  
"Oh you silly boy, why didn't you tell me that you were seeing each other?"  
  
"It would have got hopes up."  
  
"Of course it would have got my hopes up."  
  
Grissom looked at her seriously.  
  
"No, Mom, my hopes."  
  
"I like her better and better."  
  
Before his mother could say anything else, the bathroom door opened and Sara came out. She was wearing black pants and a loose fitting shirt with three-quarter sleeves. And a nervous smile.  
  
Grissom went over to her side and his mother stood to greet Sara.  
  
"Sara, I'd like you to meet my Mom, Mom, this is Sara."  
  
Grissom's mother didn't give Sara a chance to protest, she just gave her a huge hug while Sara stood a little awkwardly in the embrace. Sara looked at the smirking Grissom behind his mother's back and shot him an 'I'll get you' look.  
  
Sara was finally released. She straightened and remembered to face his Mom.  
  
"Erm, hello."  
  
"Hello at last, my dear. Gil has told me a little about you over the years. Are you feeling a little better now?"  
  
"Oh, yes, thanks."  
  
"Come and sit down and we can talk. Gil darling, go and find something to do, Sara and I have lots to talk about."  
  
Sara's eyes widened in amusement at the summary dismissal of Grissom.   
  
"In a minute, Mom."  
  
Grissom looked at Sara with a question in his eyes. Shall we tell her now?  
  
Sara looked back at him and shrugged minutely. Yeah, why not?  
  
Grissom's mother observed the interplay without seeming to and hid her amusement and delight at her son's choice. This Sara would keep him on his toes and he'd love it.  
  
She watched as Gil took Sara's hand in his.  
  
"We have an early Christmas present for you."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Sara and I are expecting a baby."  
  
There was a moment of silence and the enormity of what he had just said suddenly struck Grissom. My God, they were going to have a baby.  
  
"Oh, darling, congratulations to you both!"  
  
Grissom got the first hug and kiss, and Sara was more prepared for hers this time round.  
  
Grissom's mom looked delighted.  
  
"When is it due?"  
  
"August 3rd."  
  
Grissom looked at Sara to see how she was holding up. Not too badly by the look of things. He looked back at his Mom.  
  
His mother lit up with obvious happiness. He realised that she had probably given up on the idea of grandchildren.  
  
"I get a daughter and a grandchild. I'm so excited."  
  
Sara blamed her hormones for the emotional reaction she was having to Gil's mother's joy. She felt all girlie and weepy. It was very unlike her. She didn't like it, but she reminded herself of the words 'hot bath'. Gil wasn't the only one on a learning curve.  
  
Grissom's mother patted the place beside her on the couch and told Sara to sit down again, so that they could chat. Sara cast a quick glance at Grissom as he made himself scarce. She would get him back for that little smirk later.  
  
Sara enjoyed talking to Gil's mother. As she would have expected she was an intelligent woman. She had a keen sense of humour and a ready wit. She hadn't gone deaf until Gil had been eight years old so they discovered that they had some music tastes in common. As she pointed out, many of the songs being sung today were covers of other artists' work. Music and her son's voice had been the two biggest losses when she went deaf.   
  
She never referred to Grissom's father and Sara didn't ask.  
  
Grissom returned whilst the women were getting to know each other and started getting a meal ready. The women let him get on with it.  
  
He couldn't hear what they were talking about, just the odd burst of laughter now and then. The only time he got worried was when he heard the word 'photo's' and saw his Mom reach for her handbag.   
  
God no, not those old things. All of a sudden he was thirteen years old and his Mom was showing his baby butt to his girlfriend. The humiliation!   
  
"Mom!"  
  
He knew that she wouldn't hear, but also knew that Sara would turn towards him at his cry. His Mom looked up at him with a grin and he signed rapidly to her.   
  
Sara recognised the symbol for 'no' 'please' and 'goodbye' amongst the sentence.   
  
She rightly guessed that Gil was telling his mom that she wasn't to show the pictures or she would be shown the door.  
  
Mrs. Grissom was not in the least deterred.  
  
She handed Sara the four photos and pointed out the brief history of Gil, from four months to age seventeen. Sara looked at them carefully, intrigued by the pictures of Gil at such a young age. At seventeen he looked gangly with a mop of very curly brown hair. He was leaning against a wall with both his arms and legs crossed; looking very put out at being photographed.  
  
She turned the photo over and read 'Gil, back yard 1973'.  
  
She would have been two when this photo was taken.  
  
She smiled at Gil's mom, handing the photo's back.  
  
"They are lovely, thank you for showing me."  
  
"It was my pleasure Sara."  
  
Grissom walked past them to place two plates on the table. He went back for the third one and a bottle of wine.  
  
As he walked away from her, Sara turned her head to follow him, knowing that his Mom wouldn't be able to lip-read.  
  
"Nice butt Gil."  
  
Grissom stopped dead and turned to glare at her. She had a big grin on her face.  
  
"C'mon Mr Rear of the Year, get that cute tush back over here. Some of us are eating for two."  
  
"Some of us are going to get into big trouble if they persist with this subject."  
  
Grissom spoke quite mildly but Sara was left in no doubt as to his feelings on the matter.  
  
Her smile widened even further.  
  
Grissom returned to the table and indicated that the women should join him.  
  
The two favourite women in his life exchanged conspiratorial grins and he knew - regardless of what they were eating - that his goose was cooked.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Contrary to Sara's initial fears the visit from Grissom's mom sped by and they had a good time. Sara felt that she had gained more of an insight into Grissom's mindset. She certainly understood why he was so quiet and self contained. Growing up in a household without verbal communication he was much more aware of visual clues and body language. So much of the 'speech' in sign language depended on where the sign was positioned as well as the actual hand shape.  
  
Kind of ironic that he completely refused to see years worth of 'take me, I'm yours' coming from her.   
  
After his mother had left, with much fanfare and promises to see each other more often, Grissom returned to the kitchen to make some more coffee, decaffeinated this time, so that Sara might enjoy one of the cups that she allowed herself only occasionally now that she was pregnant.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Sara looked up from her position on the couch.  
  
"Yeah, fine." She paused, watching Grissom move easily around the kitchen. "I like your Mom."  
  
Grissom smiled as he wiped up a small spill of milk.  
  
"So I gathered. She likes you too."  
  
Sara pulled her feet up on to the couch and tucked them under a throw cushion that she had brought from her place.  
  
Grissom brought the coffee over and sat down beside Sara. She shifted so that she could lean against him and he put his arm around her.  
  
Sara felt amazingly aware. She could feel Gil's shirt on her cheek, the warmth of his body and arm around her, and the smell of freshly laundered clothes mingled with shower gel and the essential scent of Gil. She relaxed, feeling securely wrapped within his presence and his love. She didn't think that she had ever felt quite like this before. She closed her eyes as they stung with the strength of her emotions.  
  
Grissom didn't move to get his coffee. Sara fit perfectly within his embrace and he was loath to move her. She had her left arm around his chest, her thumb tucked just inside the waist of his pants at his side.  
  
This was one of the moments he knew that he would remember and come back to from time to time. For these precious minutes everything was all right in their world. Reality would intrude later, but for now he was content.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Getting ready for work Friday evening, Grissom wiped the last of the shaving gel from his face and grinned when he realised that Sara had drawn a smiley face in the condensation on the mirror.  
  
"Someone's in a good mood."  
  
Sara tugged on her wet hair, trying to get a knot out.  
  
"Yeah, well, I don't feel sick at the moment. Don't worry, it won't last."  
  
Grissom took the comb out of her hand and gently teased out the knot.  
  
Sara watched their reflections in the mirror and smiled as Gil's tongue peeked out as he concentrated on the knot until it was free. He looked up and handed her comb back.   
  
"With any luck it should stop soon. The first three months are supposed to be the worst."  
  
Their eyes met in the mirror, his confident, hers suspicious.  
  
"Have you got a book stashed away somewhere that you're reading up on this stuff?"  
  
"Um...well..."  
  
"C'mon. Yes or no, Gil."  
  
"I guess that the answer would be 'yes' then."  
  
He waited for her to be angry that they hadn't bought it together.  
  
"Aww, that is so sweet! We'll have to read it together later."  
  
Unwisely he relaxed. Sara pounced.  
  
"Or perhaps not. I'm probably several chapters behind!"  
  
Grissom looked at his reflection in the mirror as Sara marched past him out to the bedroom.  
  
Ah, yes. Chapter two, mood swings.  
  
He smiled as he loaded toothpaste on his toothbrush.  
  
Minutes later Grissom jumped when he heard Sara call his name. The cry had been an odd mixture of anger and frustration.  
  
He rushed to the bedroom, wiping his face as he went.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
Sara was standing in the middle of the floor wearing a bra and a pair of pants. The pants were undone.  
  
With Grissom watching, she tried to do the zipper up. She didn't get very far.  
  
"See? They won't do up!"  
  
Grissom looked around the room.  
  
"What about the pair you had on earlier?"  
  
"I put them in the laundry - they're wet. And these are the third and last pair I've got here. None of them fit anymore."  
  
Grissom rummaged through the drawer beside the bed and found a safety pin.  
  
"This will do temporarily until we can get you some more pants. You'll have to wear a long shirt over them."  
  
They were so caught up in the practical that it took them both a minute to realise the significance of what had happened.  
  
Sara looked and sounded shocked.  
  
"My pants are too small."  
  
Grissom initially looked shocked, but it changed to a look of wonder as he placed a warm hand on Sara's belly.  
  
"That's amazing."  
  
Grissom's quiet comment held the same wonder that showed on his face.  
  
They looked at each other.   
  
It was the first time that it really hit them that the baby was real.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
"When do you want to tell them at work?"  
  
Grissom's question came as he helped Sara in to her jacket. He stood behind her with his hands resting on her shoulders.  
  
Sara turned in his arms and looked at him. She had already given this a lot of thought.  
  
"Only Catherine, Warrick and Nick know about us. Brass and Greg may have their suspicions, but they don't know for sure. If it's okay with you, for now I want to leave you out of the equation."  
  
Grissom opened his mouth to protest but Sara held up one hand.  
  
"Hear me out. It will be obvious that I'm pregnant very soon, but think about it, who knows that you're the father? You said yourself even Eckle didn't know that piece of information or he would have already done something about it. We've got months to go yet, let's get as far as we can without complicating it unnecessarily. I know who the father is and so do you. That's all I care about, I don't give a crap what people think about it or me. I'm big enough to take it, okay?"  
  
Grissom searched her eyes looking for signs of uncertainty. He found none.  
  
"I'll only agree to this on the understanding that you will tell me the minute - the second - that you need me to help you in whatever way is required. And that includes going public about us."  
  
Sara touched his face gently.  
  
"Okay. It's a deal. But I'll let you know first if I need to do it. Until then, 'It's not a lie to keep the truth to one's self'."  
  
Grissom thought that the last piece had sounded like a quote.  
  
"Who said that?"  
  
Sara grinned.  
  
"Spock."  
  
"Dr. Spock?"  
  
"Mister."  
  
The look on Grissom's face was priceless.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Friday night was busy as usual, and the whole shift was out and about at various times of the night. Sara kept her CSI jacket on most of the time that she was out of the building, and her laboratory coat on when she was in. She didn't think anyone noticed particularly, but it was difficult to hide anything for long in this sort of job.  
  
Sara went to Trace in answer to her beeper. She found Greg leaning on the workbench, a printout in his hand and a smug grin on his face.  
  
"You don't deserve me."  
  
Sara occasionally found Greg's posturing irritating, but tonight she found it didn't bother her as much as usual.  
  
"You're right, Greg..."  
  
Greg started to preen until Sara continued.  
  
"...I haven't done anything that bad."  
  
Sara held out her hand for the printout.  
  
Greg pouted good-naturedly and handed over the results.  
  
Sara scanned the results and gave Greg the grin that he loved.  
  
"Yes! Where's Catherine?"  
  
Sara was eager to share her findings.  
  
"Find Warrick, two for one."  
  
Greg waggled his eyebrows suggestively and turned back to his work.  
  
Sara left Trace after thanking Greg for his work, a little disconcerted at his remark about Catherine and Warrick. She supposed that he probably hinted about Grissom and herself to the others too. She sighed.  
  
She found Catherine alone in the break room and showed her the test results.  
  
"Great, that'll tie up nicely for tomorrow. We're done."  
  
Sara nodded and then looked around the room. She looked back to Catherine.  
  
"Ready for tomorrow night?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Could do with a break."  
  
"Will Lindsey be there?"  
  
"She had a 'prior engagement'. She's been invited to a sleepover, which is why I picked this weekend. I don't have to collect her until Noon on Sunday. I get a lie in!"  
  
"Who else is coming to the party?"  
  
"You, me, Warrick, Nicky, Greg, Bobby, Brass, Doc Robbins if he can make it, a couple of others, about a dozen in total, and of course our fearless leader. Nick hinted that he might be bringing someone, but he won't say who, though I've an idea."  
  
"Ah. Very possibly medically trained?"  
  
Catherine grinned.  
  
"Got it in one."  
  
Both women were laughing when Grissom stuck his head in the room.  
  
"When you have a minute Catherine?"  
  
Catherine turned to him and said "Sure." Then turned back to Sara and pulled a face, mouthing the word 'oops'.  
  
Sara put her hand up to hide her grin.  
  
Catherine turned to follow Grissom, turning her head back to Sara.  
  
"Later."  
  
Sara nodded.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Saturday morning after their shift, Sara and Grissom drove back to the townhouse in separate vehicles. Sara parked and locked up and joined Grissom in his Tahoe.  
  
They went and bought breakfast, then went clothes shopping. Sara thought that Grissom would hate it, but he was quite patient. He seemed to treat a lot of his new experiences with Sara as if they were fascinating experiments. He compared and contrasted various items of clothing, giving his reasons why one was more acceptable than another. As he got more involved he got a little carried away.  
  
After a jaw dropping conversation in the bra department of one store - involving the merits of underwiring or not - Sara decided that she'd had enough for the day.  
  
Grissom was baffled.  
  
Normally Sara was assiduous about data collection.  
  
By the time they got home around eleven Sara had begun to see the funny side and Grissom was relieved that he had not ruined the day.  
  
At least she now had pants that fit and an outfit for the party at Catherine's.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
"Sara?"  
  
Grissom looked around the main room as he called out to find Sara. He noticed that all the packages that they had bought had been cleared up and taken away, even his things.   
  
"Bedroom!"  
  
Grissom followed the sound of her voice and found her beside what he now referred to as her set of drawers, putting away lingerie. He found himself momentarily distracted at the sight of the delicate lacy items.  
  
Sara looked up and smirked at the expression on Grissom's face. Oh yeah this was right up his street.  
  
"What's up honey?"  
  
Grissom licked suddenly dry lips and wondered if it was only his imagination that had made Sara's casual enquiry sound so inviting and sensual.  
  
For a long moment Grissom genuinely couldn't remember what he had wanted to say to Sara when he called her.  
  
"I see you've collected the mail."  
  
At Sara's observation he looked at his hand and the post it contained.  
  
"Ah, yes, there's a letter for you. I think it's from the hospital."  
  
Grissom held out the piece of mail for Sara. She took it and ripped off the envelope.  
  
"Great, this should be the OB/GYN appointment."  
  
She quickly scanned through the letter and then scowled. She checked the front of the envelope.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"This was posted to my place and redirected here, taking nearly a week. I've got an appointment for ten o'clock on Monday."  
  
Grissom quickly reviewed their work schedules for Monday. Neither of them were due in court. Working graveyard was handy for seeing people during the day if you didn't mind managing without some of your sleep.  
  
"That's okay, we can both make that easily."  
  
"Cool. We can still come back and go to bed." She grinned, "Might even get some sleep too."  
  
Grissom smiled in agreement, recalling part of the latest chapter in the pregnancy book he now had on his nightstand. Pregnant women fell roughly into two main groups with regard to sex during pregnancy; those that noticed a distinct lack of interest in it, and those that found their interest in it had increased dramatically.  
  
He was surprised to read that men also fell in to those two categories too. Apparently some men refuse to touch their partners from the moment they found out about the pregnancy. Extraordinary. Thank God he and Sara were on the same page about it.  
  
Sara casually dropped the letter onto the top of the drawer unit and turned to close the drawer.  
  
Before she had chance, Grissom's hand snaked out and picked up a delicate looking froth of black lace.  
  
"Very nice. I don't recall seeing these before."  
  
Sara grinned but made no attempt to take the panties from Grissom.   
  
"What - you have all my panties memorised?"  
  
Grissom tipped his head sideways as he raised his eyebrows and smirked at her.  
  
"Whilst some are more memorable than others, the sheer novelty of being able to see them - "  
  
"And remove them!!"  
  
" - and remove them - has pretty much committed them to my long term memory. As I said, I don't recall seeing these before."  
  
Sara loved to see the teasing side of Grissom. It spoke volumes to her about how far they had come in their relationship for him to be this relaxed.  
  
Grissom's hand still held the black lace and Sara loved the hopeful look in his eyes.  
  
"You want me to put them on just so that you can take them off?"  
  
Sara pretended to be exasperated and sighed heavily, but she couldn't keep the gleam out of her eyes and she knew that she hadn't fooled Gil for a moment.  
  
Grissom nodded, trying unsuccessfully to keep the grin off his face. He was no better at it than Sara.   
  
"I suppose that you want the matching bra as well then?"  
  
"Only if you're wearing it." Grissom said with a straight face.  
  
Sara was laughing even as she turned to collect the bra from the drawer.  
  
She snatched the panties from him and headed for the door. She turned back in the doorway to look at him.  
  
"I'll be back in a moment. Do not undress except for shoes and socks."  
  
"No dear."  
  
Grissom grinned, hearing her laughter as she went to the bathroom. He looked at the alarm clock and figured that they would both sleep afterwards - he felt a jolt of anticipation run through him at Sara's preparations - so he closed the drapes in readiness.  
  
His hand went to his shirt until he remembered her request. Mmm, more of an order, really. He kicked off his shoes and removed his socks, putting them in the laundry.  
  
He turned down the bed and took his watch off.  
  
He sat down on the end of the bed facing the door. He leaned forward and adjusted the fabric of his pants. Damned if he wasn't turned on already before she'd even got back.  
  
Hearing a soft footstep, Grissom looked up to see Sara standing in the doorway. He swallowed heavily at the sight of her in the new underwear. Definitely keepers.  
  
Sara had the same thought as she looked at the expression on Gil's face. He looked like someone who had been offered his three favourite desserts and couldn't decide where to start.  
  
She sashayed over and stood in front of him. She wasn't embarrassed about herself in front of him; he always made her feel very feminine and desirable.   
  
Grissom looked at Sara's face when she stopped in front of him. Not for the first time he wondered what he had done to deserve this wonderful woman.  
  
"You are so beautiful it takes my breath away."  
  
Sara overrode her instinctive reaction to deny his statement. She knew better than that now.  
  
"When I am with you, you make me feel that beautiful."  
  
Grissom looked into her eyes and smiled gently. His gaze went to her lips, then her neck, then down to her breasts, currently at his eye level. They had definitely increased in size and - he suspected - in sensitivity.  
  
He continued his visual journey moving down Sara's body to her stomach, which although still slim, was showing the soft curve that had necessitated the shopping trip. He followed the curve down to the new panties and realised to his surprise that they had the pattern of a butterfly incorporated in to the intricate lacework. He glanced back to Sara's face and could tell from her smile that she knew what he had discovered. He shook his head with a wry grin and moved on, down her long legs.  
  
Having completed his visual feast he stood up in front of her. She followed him with her eyes, her pupils large and dark with arousal.  
  
He hadn't even touched her yet but was solidly erect.  
  
Sara met his gaze with confidence and serenity. She had remained still while Gil had looked at her as if she were the most precious and desirable creature know to him.  
  
She could not fail to appreciate how he felt about her.   
  
Gil had done it again. How could he arouse her without even lifting a finger?  
  
Her breath was coming in quick pants and drying her lips. Her tongue tip appeared briefly to moisten them.  
  
Gil's penetrating blue gaze fell to her lips and then back up to her eyes. Her breath hitched in her throat at the blatant desire in his eyes.  
  
Sara waited in an agony of anticipation as he slowly leaned toward her.  
  
After an eternity their lips finally met in gentle salute.  
  
Grissom tipped his head slightly, angling his lips to slide again against hers.  
  
Sara leaned into the kiss unable to resist increasing the pressure of her mouth upon his.  
  
Considering the evidence of his desire, Sara marvelled at his ability to be so restrained.  
  
Grissom's lips parted, but only the tip of his tongue touched her lips in a gentle sweeping caress. She realised that he was encouraging her to take the lead in their lovemaking. She kissed him deeply, her tongue seeking his to both plunder and yield to him.  
  
For long moments only their mouths were touching. Grissom's mouth made love to Sara's, his lips and tongue creating magic until she could only moan with pleasure.  
  
It wasn't enough for either of them. Grissom could wait no longer and took Sara into his arms, holding her against the length of him. Her arms went underneath his and up behind his shoulders, clasping him to her.  
  
At the sensation of Grissom's shirt on her flesh Sara remembered what she had planned for him. She tore her mouth away from his and gasped - as he did - for breath.  
  
When he dipped his head again, she put a hand flat on his chest to stop him.  
  
He looked confused at her behaviour, concerned that he had hurt her in some way.  
  
Sara smiled to reassure him, briefly cupping his face with both of her hands. Her hands then moved to his shirt buttons and started to undo them, one at a time.  
  
She watched his face as she progressed towards his pants. She could see his anticipation building as she approached his belt. When he move to undo it she stopped him, then returned to the buttons.  
  
"No, this is my treat to you. Just relax."  
  
Relaxed was the last thing Grissom was feeling, but he was willing to play the game. Finally all the buttons were undone and he still didn't know how he had managed to keep his hands off her.   
  
When he had handed the leading role to her his intention had merely been to ensure that she knew that he was mindful of the changes to her body that might be uncomfortable for her. He didn't realise that she had already decided that she was setting the pace today.  
  
He discovered that he liked the idea.  
  
Being a cautious man himself he had an appreciation of Sara's ability to abandon caution when she chose to. Despite what other people may have thought he had sufficient experience with women to understand exactly how open-minded Sara was and just how compatible they were sexually. Staggeringly so.   
  
So if she wanted to tell him what to do, that was fine by him.  
  
Sara pulled Grissom's shirt open and took a moment to savour his chest before she ran her hands over the warm skin.  
  
Eventually - and not a moment too soon in Grissom's opinion - Sara's hands dropped to the belt at his waist. She slowly unhooked the belt and pulled it apart. Still not removing her gaze from his face, she undid the button, then even more slowly slid the zipper down, carefully avoiding the hard bulge beneath the pants material. Grissom's breathing was as rapid as Sara's was and he was flushed with arousal.   
  
Sara allowed the pants to fall to the floor and pushed the shirt off Grissom's shoulders to join them. He stepped out of the pool of bunched material and kicked them off to one side. He watched with fascination as Sara licked her lips again.  
  
She hooked both index fingers in the opposite sides of the boxers that were Grissom's sole source of cover and dragged them down as well. He obligingly stepped out of them too.  
  
Sara gaze swept over him and she liked what she saw. She reached out again to run her hands over his arms, shoulders and chest. She felt him shudder as her hands glided down to his waist, then heard his sharp intake of breath as her hand closed over his arousal. When her other hand gently cupped him he couldn't help but moan.  
  
"God, I must..."  
  
Instead of wasting time trying to explain, Grissom pulled her into his arms and covered her mouth with his own.   
  
Sara's lips were full and succulent beneath his, and he felt no reluctance in her response. He felt her fingers burrow into his hair and her tongue demanded entrance to his mouth, deepening their kiss. After several long dragging kisses he abandoned her mouth to trail hot open mouthed kisses and soft bites down her jaw and neck. His left arm held her close while his right hand moved from her back to the front, where it gently closed over a covered breast, taking the weight in his palm. They both moaned aloud at the sensations ripping through them.  
  
Sara's body arched towards him, pushing her breast into his hand. She could feel the heightened sensitivity in her body's response to Gil's touch. Her nipples hardened and puckered through the flimsy lace, provoking Grissom. His body was practically begging him to taste her. He leaned down and traced one of the proud silk-covered peaks with his tongue, then with his mouth. Sara moaned and squirmed hard up against him.   
  
Grissom slid his right hand down to her panties and under the elastic. He barely grazed her clitoris as he sought her heat but she shuddered and clutched at his head, moaning in delight.  
  
He could hardly stand having her this hot and willing and God, so wet, without being inside her. She was ploughing a furrow through his plans for slow and careful.   
  
Grissom eased Sara back on to the bed, lowering her to the crisp cotton and following her down.  
  
The touch of the cool sheets on her back reminded Sara that she had planned this to go a different way as part of Gil's treat. Not that he seemed to mind.  
  
She tried to concentrate but Gil's clever fingers were creating chaos.   
  
"Wait!"  
  
Grissom stopped instantly, his eyes flying to Sara's. He ached everywhere with the urge to sink into her warmth, but he waited.  
  
"Please, I want you on your back."  
  
Relieved at her request to continue Grissom rolled over on to his back and moved to the middle of the bed. Sara straddled his thighs, her knees beside his hips. He had a perfect view of her and 'umm'd' in appreciation as he ran his hands up her thighs.  
  
He reached between her legs and stroked through the wet lace, making Sara shudder again.  
  
"This is meant to be for you!"  
  
Grissom smiled at her cry.  
  
"Oh, I can assure you it's working for me."  
  
Sara took hold of him, running her thumb over tip of him, spreading the moisture there and almost sending him over the edge.   
  
She knelt up, letting him go temporarily and hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties to remove them but Grissom stopped her.   
  
"Lean forward."  
  
Sara leaned towards him, placing her left hand on the bed beside his shoulder. As her hips raised higher she realised what he intended and took hold of him again with her right hand and lined him up.  
  
He moved aside the lace crotch of the panties and eased easily inside her, moving his hands to her hips to brace her.  
  
Sara arched forward, taking him in deeper until he was as far in as possible.  
  
Grissom really wanted to slow down but it was Sara's show. Her hips rocked with his as they moaned out their pleasure. The additional friction as he moved against the lace panties was extremely erotic. He took advantage of the closeness of Sara's breast to uncover and recapture a nipple with his mouth. He timed his thrusts with his suckling and Sara didn't stand a chance.  
  
In seconds she was on the verge of climax. Her shocked eyes flew open and looked at Gil's face at her breast. The ecstasy on his face was plain to see and sent her over the precipice, the white heat flood of sensation stunning her with its intensity and making her muscles milk him.  
  
Grissom surrendered gratefully into an explosive climax that left him shaking in its wake.   
  
Sara collapsed down on to Grissom and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her secure while they floated back to earth. Sara's hair lay like silk across his cheek and he had no desire or energy to move the strands. But he managed to say something.  
  
"Love you."  
  
Sara's breath puffed against his neck as she tried to speak.  
  
"I love you too...and...that was..."  
  
Grissom grinned tiredly, pulling up the covers.  
  
"Awesome."   
  
^^^^^^  
  
As Grissom had predicted they slept until about six in the late afternoon. They had a light meal that left their hunger satisfied but left space for 'party food' as Sara called it.   
  
If anyone had been in any doubt as to how the newly fledged couple were faring with their new domestic arrangements they would have been reassured by watching the two of them get ready to go out for the evening. Just as they did their 'geek mind meld' at a crime scene, so it seemed to work around the town house. They didn't clash in the bathroom or get in each other's way in the kitchen or bedroom. It flowed effortlessly and they found themselves ready to go out ten minutes early.  
  
They decided to leave anyway and pick up some flowers for Catherine on their way.  
  
Grissom automatically picked up his keys for the Tahoe as they headed for the door.  
  
"Do you want to drive, or shall I?"  
  
Sara's question halted Grissom's forward momentum. He looked at Sara, wondering which way to jump. The baby book had said the odd glass of wine was okay.  
  
"I don't mind driving. What do you want to do?"  
  
"I just thought that you might want a drink."  
  
"I don't usually drink that much anyway, but thanks for the thought. I'll drive there and if I get paralytic you can drive us home."  
  
Grissom said it with a straight face.  
  
"As if."  
  
Sara scoffed with amusement at the idea of Grissom drunk at a party.   
  
The man had too many secrets to get drunk.  
  
Grissom looked at Sara as she smiled. She looked lovely this evening.  
  
He had to get used to the idea that he was allowed to tell her so now.  
  
"What?" Sara quizzed at his expression.  
  
"I was just thinking how lovely you looked and getting used to the idea that I can tell you so."  
  
As Sara was feeling both nervous and queasy Grissom's compliment could not have come at a better time.  
  
"Thank you for that. You're looking pretty sharp yourself tonight."  
  
Grissom automatically looked down at himself and tried to look modest.  
  
It wouldn't do to let her think he'd made a huge effort just for her, now would it?  
  
"What? This old thing?"  
  
Sara openly grinned at him as he stood there trying to look innocent. He had on his dark silvery grey suit with a black shirt and a tie that matched the suit exactly. He looked good enough to eat.  
  
"Pity about the undone fly though."  
  
Grissom quickly looked down again in consternation.   
  
"Gotcha."  
  
Sara's throaty laughter rang out as they left the house.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
The party was in full swing when they arrived. Warrick had greeted them at the door and took them through a thoroughly Christmas decorated house to the kitchen where the drinks were.  
  
The music, which had been a little loud in the rest of the house, was more subdued in the kitchen and they could speak without shouting.  
  
"Catherine's put the food out in the lounge, help yourself whenever."  
  
They thanked Warrick and he nodded 'no problem' on his way out of the kitchen.  
  
In the Tahoe on the way over Sara and Grissom decided that they would behave towards each other as if they were at work. There would be people at the party who did not know - at least officially - about the change in their relationship. It wouldn't be fair to those that did know to create gossip with their behaviour.   
  
So, with that in mind Sara poured herself a ginger ale mixer while Grissom helped himself to a glass of wine. He took the flowers for Catherine with him through to the other room while Sara went to see if Nick had turned up yet.  
  
Before she had taken two paces Greg appeared in front of her. Judging by the almost fiendish grin that he gave her, he had taken more than one trip to the kitchen already this evening.  
  
"May I say that you are looking stunning thizevening?"  
  
Sara smiled with amusement. Yep, he was definitely on his way.  
  
"Thanks Greggo. You okay?"  
  
Greg appeared to give the question serious consideration then gave a lop-sided grin.  
  
"I am cool. Totally cool. Can I get you something? Anything?"  
  
Implicit in his tone was the flirty undercurrent that he usually tried with Catherine at work. Sara thought that he must be juiced to try it on her. She tried to keep her face straight.   
  
"No, I'm fine. Go, enjoy."  
  
Greg affected a disappointed expression but his eyes gleamed with humour.   
  
"If you insist." Greg went past her in to the kitchen, "I'll be waiting should you tire of Grissom."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Sara spun around to glare at Greg to find him smirking at her, pointing his finger and palm at her in the shape of a pistol.   
  
"Gotcha."   
  
Sara managed to smile sarcastically at Greg, who went off laughing.  
  
She went and found Catherine chatting with Jim Brass.   
  
The detective looked slightly crumpled and a little weary. He had the weekend off but had been called back in this morning. He had left his pager at home this time and had not told anyone at work that he would be at Catherine's. He was still nursing his first beer. He and Catherine had been talking about the old days before his secondment back in to police work, but were happy to include Sara in their conversation when she joined them.  
  
Standing opposite Brass, Sara could just see Grissom sitting beside David Robbins on the sofa. She couldn't hear what they were saying but that wasn't surprising with the music on, though someone had turned it down a little from when she and Gil had arrived.   
  
Grissom glanced up and their eyes locked for a moment. Grissom turned to answer the doctor but still managed to make Sara feel acknowledged, not shut out as he had done so often in the past.  
  
"Ah, Nicky's here!"  
  
At Catherine's exclamation they turned to the doorway where Nick had just arrived, looking around the room for their hostess.   
  
"And he's got company. I win my bet."  
  
She and Sara grinned at each other as Helena entered the room on Nick's arm.  
  
Brass recognised the dark haired woman from the hospital.  
  
"How long has that been going on?"  
  
"Nick's been cagey about her, but he's winning her around I think. So, it's unofficially from about a week after they met."  
  
Nick spotted Catherine and came over, bringing Helena with him.  
  
"Hi guys. Helena, you remember Catherine, Sara and Jim Brass?"  
  
They exchanged hellos and Helena made them laugh when she dryly asked if the party was a family reunion.  
  
"Sort of. It gets like that on the graveyard shift."  
  
"I'm sure it does." Helena looked at Catherine. " I hope you don't mind but I've brought a friend of mine along, she was at a loose end as her 'do' fell through this evening."  
  
"Sure, no problem, the more the merrier. Where is she?"  
  
"Warrick took her in to the kitchen to show her the drinks; said that she looked like she could do with some Dutch courage. She's a little shy."  
  
"War will sort her out, he'll have her dancing in no time."  
  
Catherine put a hand on Sara and Brass either side of her as the little group smiled at her comment.  
  
"I have to circulate and top up dips. Later."  
  
Brass, Sara and Helena carried on talking while Nick went to get drinks for Helena and himself.  
  
Over on the sofa Grissom listened to David Robbins and answered in all the right places. At least, he hoped he was, because he had to admit that he was distracted by Sara's presence. He also had to admit that part of him liked the fact that this evening their relationship was their 'secret'. It would not be diminished by other people's knowledge regarding them, but for the moment it was something that he hugged to himself with almost childish glee. She was his and his alone. He was struck by the dichotomy that another part of him - ancestral caveman, he suspected - felt a deep instinctual need to own, to possess and claim as his. Fortunately, the caveman wasn't in charge tonight.  
  
"Sara's looking blooming this evening, don't you think?"  
  
Doc Robbins' mild comment sank in to Grissom's consciousness.   
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
The sage coroner nodded subtly in Sara's direction. He had been wondering about the rumours that had filtered down to his department of late. He wasn't above rattling Gil's cage now and again.   
  
"Young Ms.Sidle. Blooming."  
  
Grissom employed his poker face. He looked at Sara with his best 'she is just one of the staff' look.   
  
Sara was laughing at something Helena had just said and did indeed look lovely. And Robbins was right; blooming was just the word. The dress that Sara had chosen for this evening was cleverly cut so that it disguised rather than emphasised her waist, but standing as she was in profile to the two seated men there was no disguising her thickening waistline and her newly impressive cleavage.  
  
Grissom risked looking back at Robbins before he decided on his response.  
  
The older man looked from Sara back to Grissom. There was no censure in his gaze, but there was knowledge.  
  
"You knew already."  
  
Robbins nodded.   
  
"Figured it out right about the time she fainted during a particularly interesting PM. Never done that before."  
  
"She what?!" Grissom managed to keep his voice down but only just. "This is the first I've heard of it."  
  
"Ah, that would be because she asked me not to mention it. She can be very insistent when she chooses. As I'm sure her partner already knows...whoever he is."  
  
Robbins wished he'd brought his camera to capture Gil's expression right now.  
  
He hadn't seen him this disconcerted in quite a while. It answered his question at any rate. He thought that they were well suited and he mentally wished them well. He certainly wasn't going to say anything out aloud until he was told officially.  
  
Grissom's mind searched for some witty response but came up empty.   
  
"I'm sure he does." He said lamely.  
  
"Just as he's aware that he's a lucky bastard and he'd better not blow it with her either."  
  
Grissom's head swivelled at the doctor's remark. His lips twitched despite his dismay that he obviously hadn't fooled the doctor for a moment.  
  
"I'm sure he knows that too. Excuse me."  
  
Grissom stood up with the intention of circulating for a while. Robbins took advantage of his two good legs and asked Gil to get him a beer when he was passing the kitchen.  
  
Grissom nodded, making a note of the bottle.  
  
Sara saw Grissom get up and go in the direction of the kitchen. She actually took a step in the same direction before she could stop herself, but managed to make it look as if she was just shifting from one foot to the other.   
  
Jim Brass excused himself from the two women in order to get another drink and asked if Sara would like a top up, knowing that Nick was already getting Helena one.  
  
"No, it's okay, I'm good."  
  
Brass left and Helena turned to Sara.   
  
"How have you been since you were injured?"  
  
"Fine. Almost good as new."  
  
"Nick said that you appeared to have recovered well. Mike Kelly was impressed with your luck - and your fiancé."  
  
Sara looked chagrined at Helena's comment.  
  
"Ah, Griss is not my fiancé, that was just..."   
  
"...a ploy to get him in to see you, yes, I figured that out on the day. Nick hasn't said much about anything at work but as an outsider even I can see that you mean a great deal to Grissom. I had no trouble seeing him as your fiancé."  
  
Sara didn't know what to say so she said nothing and took a sip of her drink.  
  
Helena realised that she was transgressing on to forbidden territory.   
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise that you weren't together."  
  
Sara shifted guiltily. Time for a change of subject.  
  
"So, how did Nicky finally persuade you to go out with him?"  
  
Helena smiled with the memory.  
  
"He was very persistent. In anyone else with less charm, I think they would have called it stalking."  
  
Sara laughed, well able to picture Nicky's pursuit.  
  
"Did he ever explain about the fishy smell..."  
  
"Hel-lo ladies!"   
  
Greg appeared suddenly between the two women, making them both jump. He eyed Helena appreciatively before turning to Sara.  
  
"Greg! You made me spill my drink!"  
  
"I'll get you another. I've just heard that Nick the main man, has turned up with a real fox, so I'm on the scout. I hope it's not the brunette in the kitchen with Brass, she's not his type at all."  
  
Sara smirked as she and Helena caught each other's eye.  
  
"Ah, Greg, have you met my friend?"  
  
Greg straightened up as best as possible. His hair was all over the place but his smile was genuine.  
  
"No, I'm sure I'd remember. What's your name pretty lady?"  
  
"Helena, but you can call me 'fox' if you like."  
  
The two women were still laughing at Greg's expression when Nick returned with Helena's drink.   
  
Greg retreated with as much of his dignity as he could muster.  
  
Nick put his arm around Helena after he'd handed her drink to her.  
  
"What was that all about Sugah?"  
  
"Nothing, just meeting your workmates. They seem like a nice crowd."  
  
"Yeah, they're not bad."  
  
Nick looked at Sara, intending to excuse himself to take Helena around and introduce her to some of the other's. He was surprised to see her looking a little pensive.  
  
"You okay Sar?"  
  
Sara smiled at Nick, but it seemed a little forced to him.  
  
"Yeah, I...er...just need the bathroom. Excuse me, would you?"  
  
"Sure, if you - "  
  
Nick found himself talking to thin air. He turned a baffled face to Helena.  
  
"She was fine a minute ago. She say anything?"  
  
Helena shook her head. Something about Sara rang her internal alarm.  
  
"I'll go and check that she's okay."  
  
Nick watched Helena follow Sara out of the door before wandering back to the kitchen where Brass was chatting to Helena's friend Claudia. Warrick was not in the room but Grissom was getting a beer. He thought it odd as he figured him for a wine man, but mentally shrugged a 'whatever'.  
  
Ten minutes later he was talking to Bobby when Catherine came up to them, doing her rounds with two wine bottles, topping up glasses.  
  
"Hey, Nicky, you managed to lose Helena already?"  
  
"Naw, she went with Sara to the powder room. Sara didn't look too good. In fact, it's been a while. Would you go and check on them for me?"  
  
Catherine surprised Nick by taking his concern seriously. She handed him the wine bottles.  
  
"Sure. Back in five."  
  
Catherine went straight to the bathroom upstairs and knocked on the door.  
  
"Sara? Helena? It's me, Catherine. You okay?"  
  
She heard the lock being undone and the door opened.   
  
Sara was seated on the edge of the bath. She was as white as a sheet.  
  
Helena went back to her position beside Sara. She was worried that the stubborn woman would faint and injure herself.  
  
"Sara? What is it?"  
  
She glanced at Helena briefly before answering Catherine.  
  
"Just a little woozy, that's all."  
  
Sara had both her arms clutched around her waist and was bent forward.  
  
"Even I can see that's not all. You're in pain. Is it the baby?"  
  
Sara glared at Catherine.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's okay, I already know that you're pregnant. Mike Kelly told me of Grissom's concerns as part of your nursing care while you were in hospital. Catherine is right; you're obviously in pain. Are you cramping?"  
  
Sara started to shake her head, then nodded, tears springing to her eyes.  
  
"Has there been any spotting?"  
  
"No. Just cramps."  
  
Helena smiled gently, reassuringly.  
  
"Well, that's good. We'll take you to hospital and get you checked over. You just need to try to relax."  
  
Helena helped Sara to her feet but halted when she heard Catherine's involuntary gasp.  
  
There was a bright scarlet smear of blood on the bath's edge.  
  
Catherine looked at the stricken women.  
  
"I'll get Gil."  
  
She fairly ran out of the bathroom and nearly knocked Grissom down at the top of the stairs.  
  
Nicky had been worried when Catherine didn't return either and had sent Grissom up after her.  
  
Grissom didn't need the words; he could see it in Catherine's face. He tossed her his car keys.   
  
"Go start the Tahoe, I'll get Sara."  
  
Catherine didn't argue.  
  
Grissom entered the bathroom, trying to maintain his calm for Sara but nearly lost it when he saw her tearstained face.  
  
He wrapped a big thick bath sheet around her and gently picked her up then carried her carefully down the stairs and out to his car, reassuring her all the while.  
  
Helena helped Grissom get her comfortable on the back seat. Sara clutched at his hand and wouldn't let him go.  
  
"Don't leave me."  
  
"Never. You're stuck with me now, but I need to drive honey."  
  
Helena touched his sleeve.  
  
"Stay with her, she needs to relax and you can help her keep calm. I'll get Nick and we'll come with you."  
  
Grissom nodded gratefully and climbed in beside Sara.  
  
Nick had gone back in to the kitchen to collect Helena's coat as soon as he saw Grissom carrying Sara downstairs. He knew that she would offer to go to the hospital and he knew that he would go too. He took some money out of his back pocket.  
  
"Claudia, we've gotta go, will you be okay with a cab to get home?"  
  
Claudia looked startled at first, not being privy to what was going on, but she knew Nick well enough by now to know that he wouldn't suggest this unless it was important.  
  
"Umm, sure. That's fine. Is everything okay?"   
  
Nick met Brass' eyes over Claudia's head.  
  
"Sara's not well, we're just going to run her up to the hospital, I'm sure she'll be fine."  
  
Brass had seen enough bad news delivered to read between the lines.   
  
"Is there anything we can do?"  
  
"I don't think so. See you later."  
  
Nick left the kitchen and met Catherine and Warrick by the front door.  
  
They both looked concerned. Catherine touched his arm as he passed by.  
  
"Let us know when you can. Now go!"  
  
Nick hurried to the Tahoe and within seconds they were on their way.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom braced himself with one hand against the Tahoe's roof as Nick swerved in to the bay reserved for ambulances outside the emergency department.   
  
The younger man had done them proud in getting them here so quickly and Helena had phoned on ahead by cell phone, so there were medical staff waiting at the entrance for them.  
  
As soon as the vehicle stopped Grissom got out and turned to help lift Sara out on to a gurney. He was horrified to realise that the bath sheet was wet with blood beneath Sara, but fought to keep the knowledge off his face.  
  
"Hang in there honey, we're here and we've got help."  
  
Sara was still conscious but with a vagueness that terrified Grissom.  
  
As soon as they entered the hospital Sara was rushed through to the Resus section and Grissom was forcibly separated from her grasp as the receptionist insisted that he book 'the patient' in.  
  
Helena went with Sara while Nick remained with the dazed Grissom.  
  
The receptionist had seen it all before and had had a long day. She was poised at her computer.  
  
"Name?"  
  
Grissom tore his gaze from the doors that had just closed behind Sara.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
A tut. Heavy sigh. "Name?"  
  
"Grissom, Gil Grissom."  
  
Another sigh and a glare. "Her name?"  
  
"Sara."   
  
"Date of Birth?"  
  
Grissom gave them Sara's date of birth without hesitation.   
  
Nick was surprised. Even he didn't know Sara's date of birth.   
  
"Insurance?"  
  
Grissom turned to face the receptionist for the first time. He was profoundly grateful that he had already had Sara added to his medical insurance. He gave the woman all the necessary information in terse sentences. There were more questions.  
  
"Clinical symptoms that prompted your arrival here?"  
  
Grissom momentarily closed his eyes in torment.  
  
"PV bleed, probable...miscarriage."  
  
"Aww, man!"  
  
Nick reacted with surprise at the confirmation of his suspicions about Sara's pregnancy and dismay at its apparent loss. He really felt for Grissom. Poor bastard.  
  
The receptionist tapped away at the computer and frowned.  
  
"I'm afraid I can't seem to find your wife's medical notes, I'll have to - "  
  
Just then the Resus doors opened and Helena came out quickly.  
  
"Sara's asking for you and she won't let them anywhere near her until you come, so hurry."  
  
She spared Nick a quick glance before she hurried Grissom away.  
  
"Wait, we're not finished!"  
  
The receptionist called out after him. Nick stepped forward and pointed to her vacated seat.  
  
"Yes ma'am, I think you are."  
  
She sat down. Fast.  
  
The ER doctor tolerated Grissom's presence only because he had a calming effect on the patient. The moment that she passed out he told Grissom to leave.  
  
Grissom backed away until he was out of the way, but didn't leave the bay. Helena too had retreated and stood beside him.  
  
Ten interminable minutes later the ER doctor stood back and listened to the monitors. He turned to his nurse.  
  
"BP?"  
  
"Ninety over sixty. It's stopped falling. I think we've got it."  
  
The doctor stripped off his gloves and threw them in the contaminated waste bin.  
  
"Good girl. Hang in there." He turned again to the nurse. " Prep. OR and tell them we've got a D&C coming."   
  
Helena turned to Grissom, looking alarmed. She whispered urgently.  
  
His head came up with a jerk.  
  
"NO!"  
  
The whole team turned to Grissom in surprise. The doctor stepped forward, more patient now that his patient had stopped bleeding out.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard, I said no. You haven't done a scan to see if the baby is dead or alive. You can't sanction a D&C until you've done a scan."  
  
Grissom moved forward until he could hold on to the gurney that held Sara, almost as if daring them to take her from him.  
  
"Look, Mr...?"  
  
"Grissom."  
  
"Look, Mr Grissom, with this kind of blood loss there is almost no chance - "  
  
Grissom held up a finger from his free hand.  
  
"'Almost' no chance, not 'no chance'. You are not taking Sara without doing the scan first. I won't allow it."  
  
"And you are?"  
  
Helena stepped forward.  
  
"This is her husband."  
  
Grissom glanced at her but did not betray her to her own colleagues. He did however stick to the truth himself.  
  
"The baby's father."  
  
The ER doctor - perhaps smelling a potential law suit - finally shrugged.   
  
"Fine. Somebody get the OB/GYN on call and get a scan done."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom waited while Sara was transferred to an observation bay to wait for the OB/GYN on call to finish in theatre. Helena had gone to wait with Nick despite the fact that Grissom had suggested that they both go as there was nothing to be done but wait.   
  
Grissom pulled up a chair and sat down so that he could see for himself when Sara regained consciousness. He wished that he had definite news for her, but he was grateful that Helena had at least given him some hope.  
  
He dreaded to think what might of happened had she not been there to mention the lack of scan information.  
  
Sara woke up again in hospital and her first conscious thought was for Gil and immediately on top of that, their baby.  
  
"Gil? The baby?"  
  
Grissom took her cold hands in his.  
  
"We don't know for certain yet. You lost a lot of blood."  
  
Sara's face crumpled and the tears ran down her cheeks in silence.  
  
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."  
  
Grissom wiped her tears away with his hand but more quickly replaced them.  
  
"It wasn't your fault, these things happen."  
  
"No, no it was me, I thought that I wasn't ready, I was ungrateful so I'm being punished. It's my fault."  
  
Grissom knew this was her grief talking. He in no way blamed her.  
  
"Sara, don't be silly, it doesn't work like that. You did nothing wrong. If every woman that had a moment's doubt lost her baby, mankind would have died out years ago."  
  
Sudden fury rose up in Sara. She didn't want logic, she wanted to shout and scream and wail out her sorrow and she wanted to know that he felt the loss too. She needed a target for her anger and Gil was handy. It didn't matter that a small voice in her head told her calmly that this wasn't his fault either and of course he was hurting too.  
  
"Silly?! You think I'm being silly? How the hell do you know what I feel? You haven't been sick to your stomach every damn day; you haven't been terrified about how you're going to cope with a child when you've managed to kill every plant you've bought and never had a pet for the same reason!"  
  
Grissom was flabbergasted. He'd had no idea that Sara had been this worried. She hadn't even hinted, he was sure of it.  
  
Before he was able to marshal a response Sara looked at him, anger plain on her face with bitterness in her voice.  
  
"That's great Gil. Retreat behind your silence again; cut me out of the loop. I wondered how long it would last!"  
  
Grissom felt blindsided. He couldn't seem to get his brain to catch up with the situation. He opened his mouth but nothing wanted to come out. Eventually the words struggled out.  
  
"Sara, that's unfair. I can't allay your fears if I don't know that you have them. You haven't mentioned - "   
  
"I shouldn't have to tell you! You should just know!"  
  
Sara couldn't seem to shut herself up. She could see the hurt on Gil's face and knew that she had wounded him terribly, but all her anxiety over the last weeks was spilling over, out of her control. Even she knew that she was being unfair.  
  
"Now that's ridiculous, how can I - "  
  
"Don't call me ridiculous! Get out! GET OUT!"  
  
Sara pointed at the door, making her drip bag swing alarmingly.  
  
Grissom felt as if she had punched him. He straightened up and tried to suck air into his lungs. His expression closed as he retreated behind the mask he thought he'd never need again.  
  
Without another word he turned and walked away.  
  
He left the unit almost blindly, finding himself out in the corridor. Suddenly his brain was filling with all the things that he wanted to say - that he should have said - in the bay with Sara. Perfect bloody timing.   
  
Grissom stood in the corridor as life carried on around him. Six months ago in this situation he would have walked away and got back into his comfortable rut and chalked the whole thing up to 'got burned' and resolve never to stick his head above the parapet again.   
  
He was not that person anymore.   
  
He felt his anger start to burn now. He was furious at the fates for giving him heaven and taking it away. He was pissed that Sara wouldn't give him chance to explain and she had just assumed that he was giving up without a fight. He was royally pissed that he had just walked away instead of standing his ground. What he and Sara had was worth fighting for and they both knew it.   
  
Right. Absolutely right.  
  
Grissom turned around and walked purposefully back towards Sara's room.  
  
The last time that he had moved like it, he'd had Eddie Willows in his fists.  
  
Sara lay on her hospital bed with her free arm across her face, her nose in the crook of her elbow. She had screwed up bigtime. She had lost the most important thing in her life.  
  
She didn't mean the baby.  
  
She felt the tears start again. Gil might forgive her but she wouldn't forgive herself. She had shoved him back behind his wall and he wouldn't risk himself again.   
  
She cried harder.  
  
Grissom closed rapidly on Sara's bed bay. He could see her lying with her arm across her face.  
  
Then he heard her.  
  
Sobbing.  
  
His anger drained away as if it had never been. His pace slowed until he stopped beside her bed.  
  
"Oh, Sara."  
  
Grissom's deep sorrow was evident in his quiet voice.   
  
Sara stiffened, then took her arm away from her face.  
  
She couldn't believe that he was here. She flung herself into his waiting arms and clung to him as he clung to her. She cried and so did he.  
  
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I just couldn't stop."  
  
"Shush, it's okay, it's okay. I know. I'm sorry too. I should never have left you."  
  
"I'm so scared."  
  
Grissom pressed his head to Sara's, feeling the silky hair against his cheek.  
  
"Then we'll be scared together."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Twenty minutes later the OB/GYN turned up with a portable scanner.  
  
"Sorry I've been delayed in theatre. How are you feeling Mrs. Grissom?"  
  
Sara looked startled and her eyes flew to Gil.  
  
He looked equally startled and shrugged a 'search me' look to Sara.  
  
"Erm, okay, not too bad."  
  
"Okay, I'll just set this up and we'll have a look."  
  
Although maintaining a positive attitude, the OB/GYN had read the notes and wasn't optimistic.   
  
Five minutes later they were in position. Grissom was on Sara's right, holding her hand in both of his, the OB/GYN on her left.  
  
Sara's belly was uncovered and the doctor shook a bottle upside down to get the gel to the nozzle tip.  
  
"Sorry, this will be a little cold."  
  
It was, but Sara didn't say anything.  
  
The screen was turned to face the doctor.  
  
He placed the ultrasound wand in the gel and started moving it around in response to whatever he could see on the screen.  
  
To Grissom and Sara the wait seemed endless, but in actuality was only a minute or so.  
  
"Mr Grissom, you insisted on this scan before they went ahead with a D&C?"  
  
Sara looked at Gil in surprise. She hadn't known that this was Gil's idea.  
  
"Yes. I thought that it was important."  
  
The OB/GYN smiled as he turned the screen to face them both.  
  
"Good call."  
  
As picture quality went it was poor, but as the first photo of baby Grissom it was the most beautiful sight in the world.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Grissom walked quickly back to the waiting area where Nick and Helena were still hanging on for another update.  
  
Both of them stood when they saw Grissom come out from the unit.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
Nick couldn't wait to know.  
  
"They're both okay at the moment."  
  
Helena, not one given to extravagant displays of emotion normally, gave Grissom a hug.  
  
Nick almost laughed at the comical expression on Grissom's face.   
  
"Put him down hon., you're embarrassing him. Congratulations man, this is so cool."  
  
Once Grissom was released, Nick shook his hand.  
  
Grissom showed them the photograph of the scan, his pride self-evident.  
  
More than one set of eyes were suspiciously full.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
After Helena and Nick left, Grissom rang Catherine to pass on the news.  
  
Catherine had not told any of her guests - Sara's colleagues and friends - about the pregnancy. If Sara lost the baby, then no one needed to know about it at all unless Sara felt like telling them. Catherine had just told them that Sara had felt unwell and that Grissom had taken her to a doctor. The party was still going strong at a little after ten in the evening.  
  
Helena and Nick returned to the party buoyed up by the good news from Grissom, though naturally they kept it to themselves.  
  
By the time that they arrived, Catherine had already spoken to Grissom and her expression was relieved and happy when she opened the front door to them.  
  
"Come on in. We were hoping that you'd come back. Grab a bite, there's plenty left."  
  
Nick grinned, partly with relief about the food. Now that the crisis had passed, at least for now, he was starved.   
  
Helena was pleased to see that Claudia had emerged from her shell in her absence. As she was still talking to Jim Brass in a quietly animated fashion Helena assumed that he was at least partly responsible for the change. He certainly appeared to be enjoying himself too.   
  
Catherine did her 'rounds' again as the hostess and was quietly pleased at the way things were going. Gil and Sara missing was the only down side to the day, and hopefully that was going to have a good prognosis.   
  
She caught Warrick's eye and smiled automatically as she crossed the living room on her way to the kitchen to check on how the drinks were doing.  
  
He casually followed her, hurrying to catch her up in the hall.   
  
"Hey Cat, wait up."  
  
Warrick hadn't counted on Catherine taking him literally, turning towards him and stopping dead in the hallway. It took him by surprise and he was unable to stop his forward momentum in time. He reflexively put his hands out to save himself.   
  
  
  
His body smacked straight in to Catherine's and knocked her backward against the wall. Only his arms prevented Catherine's head from hitting the wall too.  
  
Warrick was mortified. He could feel Catherine trembling in his arms. He had obviously shocked and hurt the last person in the world that he wanted to.  
  
He pulled his head back to look down at her.  
  
To be greeted by the unexpected sight of her laughter. She wasn't trembling; she was shaking with laughter.  
  
Warrick looked bemused, his lovely eyes puzzled.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Catherine looked up at Warrick, a smile still on her lips.  
  
"Well, I've been hoping that you'd make a move on me. It just wasn't the move I was expecting."  
  
She looked at Warrick, waiting for a response.  
  
"You know, the 'goldfish' isn't one of your best looks."   
  
"I...I...you've been waiting? For me?"  
  
Catherine nodded. She waited for Warrick to put it all together. She didn't mind the fact that she was in the hall where anyone could see them.  
  
Warrick's savoir-faire surfaced at last, but he wasn't 'cocky' with it.  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Infinitely cool."   
  
"Can I call you?"  
  
"You have my number."  
  
"On speed dial."  
  
Catherine raised her eyebrows in an expression that indicated that she was impressed as well as amused.   
  
Warrick backed upright away from Catherine with a reluctance that pleased her.   
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I'm sure I'll live. You?"  
  
"Doin' much better now, thank you."  
  
Warrick's smile was a joy to see.  
  
"Glad to hear it."  
  
Catherine slipped out from under Warrick's arm and went in to the kitchen with a confident twitch to her hips.  
  
Nothing put the swing in your step quite like anticipation.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara had been moved to a room with one other bed in it on the gynae. ward. The other bed appeared not to currently be in use. The nursing staff had sent Grissom off with a list of requirements for a short hospital stay.   
  
Grissom took a cab back to the townhouse, had a sandwich, packed a small bag for Sara and drove her Tahoe back to the hospital.  
  
As he took the stairs up to Sara's floor he thought about the image of the baby that they had seen on the screen.  
  
They had both been stunned to discover that the baby was still alive. It was a miracle, no other word for it.  
  
It wasn't the only miracle in Grissom's mind. He had changed the way he thought about the relationship that he and Sara had. He felt more confident and secure in it now partly, perhaps, because the bond had been tested and they had survived.   
  
They had talked for a long while. Sara had been more open about some of her fears and Grissom had admitted that he still thought that she would leave him one day, for 'someone better'.   
  
Sara had looked at him as if he were mad.   
  
"What better? Taller? Richer? Impossibly handsome? Fearfully intelligent? I mean how could this person exist? You are the 'someone better' that I want. You've got faults but so have I. I don't want Mr Perfect, I want you."  
  
Grissom looked down at his hand holding hers, wanting to believe but still not entirely convinced.  
  
"Gil, look at me."  
  
He looked at her face, examining it like a fascinating piece of evidence.  
  
Sara blushed under the intense scrutiny, but persevered.  
  
"You tell me that I can have anyone I want but can't believe that I want you. Okay. I'll tell you what I want in my Mr Perfect. And you can go find him for me."  
  
Grissom leaned forward placing his right elbow on Sara's bed so that he could rest his head on his right hand and look at her.   
  
"I want a meeting of minds, someone at least as smart as me if not smarter, so that we have will always have something to talk about. I want other people to be envious of me, the women will wish that they had him, the men will wish that they were him. I want someone who makes me scream with delight in bed or in an aeroplane but understands without feeling rejected that occasionally I might have to say no. A man who makes me feel beautiful regardless of whether he is with me at a swanky 'do' or holding my hair off my face while I lose my breakfast for the fourth day in a row. I want a man who is kind and gentle but with strength of character. I want a man who is not afraid to hold me while I cry about something that he can do nothing about, and is not ashamed that he wants to cry too. I want a man who not only cooks like a dream but also washes up afterwards and looks divine in a towel. A man who is not threatened by the fact that I am strong, intelligent and sensual. A man who has respect for my opinions and me. A man who loves me, warts and all..."  
  
Sara had looked at Grissom while going through her list and watched his expression as she paused.  
  
"...and a sense of humour would be nice."  
  
Grissom rubbed his thumb over her fingers while looking thoughtful. This was how she saw him? His light tone belied the soft sheen in his eyes.  
  
"Mmm, a bit of a tall order, especially if you have warts."  
  
"He won't care."  
  
"No, I guess he won't. But until this paragon of virtue is found, you're stuck with me."  
  
Grissom didn't look like this task would be too onerous.  
  
"It could take years and years and years."  
  
Sara looked innocently earnest. Or tried to.  
  
"I don't have anything else planned for the next fifty or so."  
  
Sara's lips twitched in to a smile before she could stop them.  
  
"Cool."  
  
As Grissom reached the firedoors at the top of the stairwell he realised that his comment about the next fifty years had sounded remarkably like a proposal of sorts.  
  
It didn't scare him as much as he thought it would.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Sara was kept in for two days to make sure that there were no more problems. She was signed off sick for a week with the advice that when she did return to work there was to be no heavy lifting.  
  
The cat was well and truly out of the bag. The entire night shift knew that Sara was pregnant and the day shift congratulated themselves on being right all along. There was much speculation among the day shift about the identity of the father but no one was unwise enough to name names.  
  
Grissom was perfectly aware that he was 'number one' on the suspect list. He neither confirmed nor denied anything. It was nobody else's business.   
  
Eckle was furious that he couldn't cause trouble for Grissom, but he knew that Grissom only had to plead ignorance about the private life of his staff, which was no crime in his employers' eyes.  
  
When Sara returned to work the awful tension was gone between her and Grissom. They treated each other as colleagues who were friends.   
  
If those 'in the know' thought that occasionally their glances lingered too long or that their smiles were warmer than those between friends, it didn't really matter.  
  
The dust settled.   
  
^^^^^^  
  
Two months later.  
  
  
  
Grissom stuck his head in to Trace and glanced around, his face falling a little.  
  
Greg looked up from the maintenance he was doing on one of the analysers.  
  
"Lost someone?"  
  
Grissom pursed his lips and fingered the small evidence bag in his left hand.  
  
"...Because if you see Nick or Sara on your travels, this is for them. Last I saw, Sara was in the vehicle bay, Nick too."   
  
Greg reached over and handed Grissom a printout from the mass spec.  
  
"Thank you Greg."  
  
As Grissom left, Greg smiled to himself. It didn't take an investigator to figure out who he had been looking for.  
  
Grissom walked down to the vehicle laboratory and thought at first glance that the place was empty. He walked over to the car in position on the ramp and spotted a pair of legs in dark blue coveralls sticking out from under the car. An irritated voice came from under the car.  
  
"Nicky? Gawd, how long can a trip to the can take? You know Griss'll have a hissy fit if he finds out I got under a car again after last week!"  
  
Grissom's lips twitched despite his annoyance that Sara was indeed under a car again after she got stuck last week. Fortunately Warrick had been with her then and was able to raise the car further so that she could slide out. They had been laughing about it in the break room later and Grissom's rebuke had been mild enough, but he'd made it clear that no one was to work under a car solo.  
  
He crouched down and pulled on the trolley. There was a squawk of dismay from under the car, but Sara's expression changed from irritation to chagrin when she saw Grissom.  
  
"Oh, it's you."  
  
"A 'hissy' fit?"  
  
One eyebrow was raised and Grissom's head was tilted to one side as he did when he was curious. He reached out and touched Sara's cheek with a finger and showed her the grease smut with a smirk.  
  
She grinned from her position lying on the trolley, wiping at the grease mark with a sleeve.  
  
"Yeah, hissy fit as in 'don't do this because - fill in the blank'. You watch over me like a hawk, I can't do anything."  
  
"Is this a problem for you?"  
  
Grissom asked the question in all seriousness.  
  
Sara mock glared at him.  
  
"Actually no, it's not. I kinda like it, but if you tell anyone that I'm gonna have to kill you."  
  
Grissom laughed and as the sound echoed around the room he thought how much more often he did it now. He looked at Sara again, and she looked at the paper still in his hand.  
  
"I've brought your mass spec. report from Greg for you..."  
  
"Stick it on the bench willya? I'm kinda stuck here."  
  
"...and I've got some evidence here that I want you to help me with."  
  
Sara looked at the sealed bag in Grissom's other hand.   
  
"What's it about?"  
  
Grissom looked at the evidence bag thoughtfully.  
  
"It's an unusual case. Involves your favourite ingredients; a man, a woman, passion and mystery."  
  
Sara was intrigued and already trying to figure out which case he was on about.  
  
"What's the mystery?"  
  
"I don't know how it ends."  
  
"The man?"  
  
"Older guy, set in his ways, has his life all mapped out. Life holds no surprises."  
  
"The woman?"  
  
"Younger. Spirited. Beautiful and passionate."  
  
"Cool, I like her already. She's obviously trouble."  
  
"True. They meet and there are fireworks."  
  
Grissom smiled as he shifted to get comfortable in his crouching position. One knee rested on the ground.  
  
"I like fireworks. Fireworks are good."  
  
Sara pushed herself into a sitting position and placed one hand on her six-month bump. She smiled at Grissom's expression as he idly swung the evidence bag between two fingers.  
  
"Things are good, very good in fact. Then one day, the man realises that it's not enough."  
  
"Oh dear. Whyever not? What more does he want?"  
  
"I'm coming to that. This is the bit where I need your help. I need to know what she would be thinking, you know, the female point of view."  
  
Sara was openly grinning now and Grissom was having a hard time keeping his face straight.  
  
"You know me on a case, anything I can do to help."  
  
"He gives her this evidence..."  
  
Grissom gave Sara the bag, which she tore across the top and opened. She tipped the contents into her hand. Her mouth fell open and her eyes flew to his.  
  
"...and he says to her, ' I love you and are you free for the rest of your life?'. What do you think she says? I'd be grateful for your opinion."   
  
Sara was stunned. She looked at the sapphire and diamond engagement ring in the palm of her hand and then at Gil.   
  
His proposal was as unique as he was. Only he could get down on bended knee to propose to her while she was wearing ratty blue coveralls and covered in grease smuts.  
  
It was the most romantic gesture that he had ever made. Her eyes filled and she blamed her hormones. He knew that she would have freaked if he'd done this in a restaurant.  
  
He was also telling her that work was important to him, but not more important than she was.   
  
Sara finally found her voice, albeit a little shaky.  
  
"Well, I think that she would be stunned at first. Y'know, it might have been right out of the blue."  
  
Grissom nodded in agreement, reaching out to pick up the ring and place it on the ring finger of Sara's left hand. It fit perfectly and they both smiled.  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"Then - can you help me up please?"   
  
Grissom helped Sara get to her feet and pulled her gently towards him.  
  
"Thanks - then I think she would say, 'I think I have finally found my place in this world, and it's at your side.' Naturally it's a given that she loves him to distraction and would say yes in a heartbeat."   
  
Grissom leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Sara's lips.  
  
Sara looked at him with a cheeky grin.  
  
"Of course, that's only my opinion, I could be wrong."  
  
Grissom shook his head. He showed Sara her left hand.  
  
"The evidence never lies."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
Six weeks later.  
  
Everyone was assembled in the break room to get their assignments for the night. Grissom was just handing Greg and Nick their one when a delivery driver carrying a parcel came to the door.  
  
"Been sent up here with a package for 'Grissom', anyone know where I can find 'em?"  
  
Sara's eyes gleamed with mischief and Grissom knew what was coming.   
  
She turned, with difficulty, to the deliveryman.  
  
"Mr or Mrs?"  
  
The room erupted.  
  
^^^^^^  
  
"How about Amy? It means 'beloved'."  
  
Grissom flicked through the book of names, stopping here and there.  
  
Sara looked up from their sleeping daughter's face and smiled tiredly.  
  
"She's less than an hour old, there's no hurry."  
  
Grissom looked up at Sara over his glasses. He put down the book and moved to stand beside her bed and the baby's crib. Sara leaned against him, sliding an arm around his waist. He put one around her shoulders. They both looked at the baby with that slightly stunned expression new parents have.   
  
Grissom turned to Sara and softly kissed her, thrilled as always when she kissed him back. He looked at his family.  
  
There was only one word for it.  
  
Awesome.  
  
The End. 


End file.
